FUN GOD GUIDE TO BLOW JOBS  

funintheday2006 57M
8366 posts
7/30/2006 6:33 pm

Last Read:
8/5/2006 7:44 pm

FUN GOD GUIDE TO BLOW JOBS

Not so much blogging this weekend, there has been enormous demands n the Fun Gods time and body.
Physical exertions and demands that, like the true stalwart I am, I have met head on and conquered.
Bringing solace and joy to the masses (well 1 anyway), performing like an Adonis personified and allowing others to fulfill their fantasy. Me.

Anyhoo, as I am laid I thought it incumbent upon me to give you wenches out there the guide for performing oral sex on a fine figure of a man such a I.
Information so you can fully appreciate how to satisfy a man with your lips and not lose him to some blonde skinny bimbo who has mastered the art purely because she has nothing to say and, like all wenches, needs something to do with her mouth.
Now, there is absolutely no need to thank me here, I do it for the benefit of both men and women, I am telling you things that your man thinks but, cannot say because you might not do it again and a bad blow job is better than none.
Don’t be bad any more, follow the Fun Gods guide to Oral satisfaction.

First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will find someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will.
Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish.
We will use your ears as we see fit. don't worry about it and be thankful we’re not pulling your hair.
When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop you from bitching and moaning. Suck!
Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get. trust me.
You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the short end of the stick in the flavour stakes.
At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth.
Play with the balls.
No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
Caress the ass, too. We like that!
Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old and fat and looking for some action, I guarantee it'll be "sound asleep".
If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?


I have a strange suspicion there might be some flack coming my way .


florallei 100F

7/30/2006 7:31 pm

Wait till I get my hands around your throat you *%##^*&$# bugger!!!!
the blonde bimbo can have you darlin'...bad timing am PMSing!!!
flow
GOTCHA!!!!!!!!!!


funintheday2006 replies on 7/30/2006 8:00 pm:
Yikes

onlyfive 70M

7/30/2006 7:42 pm

Ah, someone with "higher" education. Sorry mate but I don't see any wit or sarcasm here. With regard to blow jobs, very few women can perform a good one but most all men can. Give it a try and you might just stop complaining.


funintheday2006 replies on 7/30/2006 8:03 pm:
Wit? Sarcasm? You expected that HERE??? Oh, I aint complaining, this is educational for the lovely ladies. Men?? Na, Rather have a bad one from a gal, at least I can play with their tits

rm_mmmgoodnova 107M/107F
1259 posts
7/30/2006 7:43 pm

Ever heard of Lorena Bobbitt, darling?
If not--do Google her.
And yeah, now I bet you really WILL only go for skinny blondes. LOL.


funintheday2006 replies on 7/30/2006 8:05 pm:
Loretta wasn't it?? She and I are good friends. I wrote this for her originally and at the end in a British way I put "take it away" This was similar to, go for it. Unfortunately she was a regular at McDonalds and thought I put "Its a Take Away" Silly girl

TheCliticals 36F/F

7/30/2006 8:21 pm

Can we hijack your blog to help with our appeal?

[post 448393]


funintheday2006 replies on 7/31/2006 5:42 am:
You certainly can, was going to do it myself anyway.. HEY GUYS AND GALS, SHECK THIS ONE OUT AND GIVE THE GUT SOME SUPPORT...THANKS.

ok?

funintheday2006 replies on 7/31/2006 5:42 am:
Thats guy

TheCliticals 36F/F

7/30/2006 8:31 pm

And BTW, I'll NEVER lick Nemo again !!!!!

Dee


funintheday2006 replies on 7/31/2006 5:42 am:
You'll just have to watch Sandy then wontcha???

Balibabe19 43F

7/30/2006 8:34 pm

some flack huh...well here's my one and only word in true response to such a post

FLACK!!!

I am sure the other numerous responses you will receive will easily sum up the general consensus.

*giggles and sits patiently to watch the ominous tide roll in*


funintheday2006 replies on 7/31/2006 5:43 am:

rm_sexxikritter 53F
2715 posts
7/30/2006 8:36 pm

Well, Fun, thanks for the information but I already knew all that.


funintheday2006 replies on 7/31/2006 5:43 am:
A woman of taste and style

hornylilgirl78 107F

7/30/2006 8:43 pm

"and not lose him to some blonde skinny bimbo who has mastered the art purely because she has nothing to say and, like all wenches, needs something to do with her mouth."

Actually most of us blonde bimbos are a lot smarter then you think...most of the time we do it to shut YOU up...!

~Horny~

~HLG78~

"As kinky as a cheap garden hose!"


funintheday2006 replies on 7/30/2006 8:45 pm:
If you're gonna do it to shut me up, itll work, believe me You do not strike me as a bimbo however

lustcurious42 57F

7/30/2006 8:51 pm

I kinda like my hair pulled now and then, and every once in a while, shoot it all over my face and rub it in. It's great for the skin.


funintheday2006 replies on 7/30/2006 8:53 pm:
Oh, all right then, you've talked me into it. No wasting any though

Damn_Dilemma 50F

7/30/2006 8:59 pm

    Quoting onlyfive:
    Ah, someone with "higher" education. Sorry mate but I don't see any wit or sarcasm here. With regard to blow jobs, very few women can perform a good one but most all men can. Give it a try and you might just stop complaining.
I suppose you one one those that bend down and do it to yourself ainstead of leting a good woman teach you how its done. I din't think you needed "higher" education to have wit or sarcasm and I know wit he does have, I sonder if you do?
Oh My Lordy, here I go again telling someone off on someone else's blog, Sorry Fun_God {=}


funintheday2006 replies on 7/30/2006 9:08 pm:
Thats ok babe, I think he wants me I am a gay icon around here you know

rm_Benkai7 56M
2358 posts
7/31/2006 12:28 am

Dear "funintheday2006".

Just had a look at your "keywords" ... ... mh, interesting ... here are the most used three ones:

fucking 48x ... love 46x ... head 37x

Quote:
"If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?"

I know for sure, you only want to have any evidence "destroyed" ... ... ...

Benkai7

Maybe you are interested in reading this advice too ... ...

[post 448061]


funintheday2006 replies on 7/31/2006 5:45 am:
Y'see, you can tell I'm educated by the prolific use of a language almost abandoned in these modernh times, sensei.
I use it to keep our heritage alive.
I will check out the educational link you have supplied

BaronessK 53F

7/31/2006 2:37 am

First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will find someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will. There's more to sex sometimes than giving oral? Really?! {There's NO ONE 'prettier' than the woman who is licking and sucking! As for dirtier...I 'toss salads', too, dayun!

Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish. Those who can, do; those who can't...write about how they VAGUELY remember getting one! {BTW, tongue lashing by Bitches isn't just quite the same, is it, dayun?! }

We will use your ears as we see fit. don't worry about it and be thankful we’re not pulling your hair. That's why I don't wear earrings...what's your point? And I have long hair, in layers...for a GOOD reason...for the 'yanks'...to yank!

When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop you from bitching and moaning. Suck! Whether it's that time or not, that's a great way to get me to shut up...although they haven't seemed to mind my humming....

Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get. trust me. Low carb diet, extra protein...and point I did NOT know...?

You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the short end of the stick in the flavour stakes. Females taste just fine, thank you {and I speak of someone other than me as well, btw! }, but I NEVER bitch about the taste of THAT...unless I'm not getting it enough!

At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth. Depends on how pissed off YOU make the woman...she does have teeth in that 'sucker hole'...remember...that far ago?!

Play with the balls. Play, hell...it's the pre-matinee show!

No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better. Only until they've had me!

Caress the ass, too. We like that! Duh! The ass of the ass, makes sense, ya daft git!

Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old and fat and looking for some action, I guarantee it'll be "sound asleep". Do one for now and one for an extra memory for later...again, point?

If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you? It thickens the hair on the head, too, so he'll have more to grab on to if his hands slip off my ears....

Next post, dayun...let's work on taking the socks off before the pants...so you can get to the Second Level Primer...amateur!


funintheday2006 replies on 7/31/2006 5:47 am:
Baz, Baz, Baz, Jesus, do you know how much room you're taking up with your 7 person rambling???
Know this: YOU will not be giving any blow job, you can give it a good wank, at least that'll keep your bloody hands off the keyboard

JuicyBBW1001 55F

7/31/2006 3:05 am

Hmmm I am blonde glad I am not skinny. But you should know better to lump all women in the same category. Shame on you now you get on your knees and lick those you have offended.

Juicy


funintheday2006 replies on 7/31/2006 5:47 am:
I'm allergic to fish

onlyfive 70M

7/31/2006 4:32 am

    Quoting Damn_Dilemma:
    I suppose you one one those that bend down and do it to yourself ainstead of leting a good woman teach you how its done. I din't think you needed "higher" education to have wit or sarcasm and I know wit he does have, I sonder if you do?
    Oh My Lordy, here I go again telling someone off on someone else's blog, Sorry Fun_God {=}
Damn_Dilemma: I must direct your attention to the picture on the left. Believe me, if I could reach it, I'd do it. Ststistically, I have found that men do give much better head.


funintheday2006 replies on 7/31/2006 5:48 am:
Damn, you listening???

BaronessK 53F

7/31/2006 7:33 am

    Quoting onlyfive:
    Damn_Dilemma: I must direct your attention to the picture on the left. Believe me, if I could reach it, I'd do it. Ststistically, I have found that men do give much better head.
Statistics? How about knowing dozens of gay and bisexual men...and they know me or of me...and they ALL agree 100 percent...that women {especially ME} give much better head than any male ever could. Y'all may 'own' that body part...but WE RULE it!

As for your previous comment, day...which one{s} of me are you telling to shut up? You need at least once of us to be a comment wanker, brit git! {I did go apologize to the nice lady at benkai's link...my post here cross posted to her blog instead of what should have! }


funintheday2006 replies on 7/31/2006 8:03 am:
It crossed coz ya were too pissed to hit the right button, story of your bleeding life eh? Bet she was fucking pleased to see ya

IAmRubytuesday 56F
3193 posts
7/31/2006 8:36 am

Oh you're a Feminist - how cute! xxx

Q.2 flies in an airing cupboard. Which one's the soldier?
A.The one on the tank.


funintheday2006 replies on 7/31/2006 9:39 am:
I am ain't I

Smiles1962006 58F
525 posts
7/31/2006 2:43 pm

Quote: "I have a strange suspicion there might be some flack coming my way"

With posts like this one, I suspect 'Flack' might be the only thing coming your way for a while...HeeHee

*Smiles*


funintheday2006 replies on 7/31/2006 8:12 pm:
That'll make a change then

IAmRubytuesday 56F
3193 posts
7/31/2006 3:13 pm

    Quoting onlyfive:
    Ah, someone with "higher" education. Sorry mate but I don't see any wit or sarcasm here. With regard to blow jobs, very few women can perform a good one but most all men can. Give it a try and you might just stop complaining.
Do you know you have something crawling along your ruler?

It looks like a penis, only smaller.

Q.2 flies in an airing cupboard. Which one's the soldier?
A.The one on the tank.


funintheday2006 replies on 7/31/2006 8:12 pm:
You are fucking priceless sometimes

catkit13 67F

7/31/2006 4:52 pm

didn't learn anything new from you, fun
have anything else to offer us ladies?


funintheday2006 replies on 7/31/2006 8:13 pm:
If you're typing your mouth ain't full. Do your duty woman

JuicyBBW1001 55F

7/31/2006 5:23 pm

    Quoting catkit13:
    didn't learn anything new from you, fun
    have anything else to offer us ladies?
You think he has something to offer lmao you obviously haven't seen his cock shot. Nemo is just a body double that he hired. (hoping he knows I am yanking his chain in fun)

Juicy


funintheday2006 replies on 7/31/2006 8:14 pm:
Poor Nemo, he does take some insults Will he ever stand again?? ;?

JuicyBBW1001 55F

7/31/2006 9:15 pm

Hmm I am thinkin Sandy could make him stand again but then Dee might chop him up and use him for sushi.

Juicy


funintheday2006 replies on 7/31/2006 9:25 pm:
If only I blogged everything you would know everything!!! You have NO IDEA Oh God, memories

Reverbe2 44F
3298 posts
8/4/2006 6:01 am

Ever eaten a woman out? I can only speak for myself here as I have only tasted myself out of curiosity (i have no gay or bi leanings) but umm we don't actually taste of fish!!!!I'm assuming cleanliness here which works both ways but personally I taste quite sweet. I know my lover can't get enough.

Please view my blog reverbe2 Sweethearts Sanctuary


funintheday2006 replies on 8/4/2006 8:25 am:
Hi rev, the one I have tasted was sweet too Baronessk asked me to write this post. Welcome babe.

insatiable69xx 50F

8/5/2006 8:50 am

all am gonna say is if youve sooo much spare time to talk about it then well YOU AINT GETTIN ANY...........

'Just smile and Nod'
~Kittie~


funintheday2006 replies on 8/5/2006 7:44 pm:
You are correct, is that an offer

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