funintheday2006 57M
8366 posts
8/12/2006 12:22 am

Last Read:
1/21/2007 4:41 am


Once again the high maintenance git kelli4u2dew has been bitching at men because we glorify farting.

Well, she is obviously ignorant of how much importance the World places on its farts and the many varieties there are.

I decide to post this after her usual uninformed tirade at me because I wont shag her plus a conversation with Tabithaelectra where she told me of her favourite place to break wind. Yes, we talk about strange cheesy things

For your weekend homework I want you to digest the list of farts below and add any I may have missed.

To assist in your endeavours to remember I have listed, against some types of farts, the bloggers who are known to have done them.
As I am restricted to the numbers of photos I put here I missed some..sorry

The Alarm Fart tracydelacyThis is a good fart for the beginner. It is easy to identify. It starts with a loud unnaturally high note, wavers like a siren, and ends with a quick downward note that stops before you expect it to. It sounds like something is wrong. If it happens to you, you will know right off why it is called the Alarm Fart. You will be alarmed. The alarm fart however is rare.

The Amplified Fart - This is any fart that gets its power more from being amplified than from the fart itself. Such as a plywood table, an empty fifty gallon drum, a tin roof, or some empty cardboard boxes if they are strong through being amplified in this way can be called an Amplified Fart. These are common farts under the right conditions

The Anticipated Fart -
This one warns that it is back there waiting for some time before it arrives. A person who is uneasy for a time in a crowd and who later farts at a time when they think no one will notice has farted an Anticipated Fart.

The Back Seat Fart
This is a fart that occurs only in automobiles. It is identified chiefly by odour. The Back Seat Fart can usually be concealed by traffic noise as it is an eased-out fart and not very loud. But its foul odour will give it away, due to the way air moves around in a car. It is often followed by someone saying, "Who farted in the back seat?"

The Barn Owl Fart - A familiarity with owl calls is helpful in identifying this fart. Almost any morning if you get up just before daybreak you can hear one of these birds talking to himself. It's a sort of a crazy laugh, particularly the way it ends. If you hear a fart that has about eight notes in it, ending on a couple of down notes, and it sounds maniacal, you have heard the rare Barn Owl Fart.

The Bathtub Fart TabithaElectra- People who would never in their life know one fart from another, who would like to act like farts don't exist, will have to admit that a Bathtub Fart is something special. It is the only fart you can see! What you see is the bubbles. The Bathtub Fart can be either single or multiple noted and fair or foul as to odour. It makes no difference. The farter's location is what does it. Maybe there is a kind of muffled pong and one big bubble. Or there may be a ping ping ping and a bunch of bubbles. The sound I should point out depends somewhat on the depth of the water, and even more on the tub. If it is one of those big old heavy tubs with the funny legs you can get terrific sound effects. While one of the new thin ones half buried in the floor can be disappointing.

The Biggest Fart in the World Fartbaronessk Like the great bald eagle, this fart is pretty well described just by its name. This can either be a group one or a group two fart and can occur just about anywhere. I heard it one time, a group two identification, in a crowded high school auditorium one night, right in that silence that happens when a room full of people has stopped singing God Save the Queen and sat down. It came from the back. There was not a soul in that room that missed it. A fart like that can be impressive. The most diagnostic characteristic of the Biggest Fart In The World is it size. Fart freaks who go around showing off, farting like popcorn machines, and making faces before they fart or asking you to pull their finger and then they fart, never have what it takes for this one, which is rare even among your most serious farter's.

The Bullet Fart Animal73Its single and most pronounced diagnostic characteristic is its sound. It sounds like a rifle shot. The farter can be said to have snapped it off. It can startle spectators and farter alike. Fairly common following the eating of the more common fart foods, such as beans.

The Burning Brakes Fart - A silent fart identified by odour alone. Usually an adult fart, occurring while the adult is driving a car or has a front seat passenger who farts. The Burning Brakes Fart actually does smell a little like burning brakes, and seems to hang around longer than most farts Which gives whoever farted a chance to make a big show of checking to see if the emergency brake has been left on. When he finds it hasn't you know who farted. A common automobile fart.

The Car Door Fartslippery243Either a group one or a group two fart. Very tricky. It is meant to be a concealed fart. A matter of close timing is involved, the farter trying to fart at the exact moment he slams the car door shut. It is usually a good loud fart. It is one of the funnier farts when it doesn't work, which is almost every time. It is a desperation fart and not too common.

The Celestial FartMofunNowwowNot to be confused with the Did An Angel Speak Fart, which is simply any loud fart in church. The Celestial Fart is soft and delicate, surprising in a boy or an adult. It is probably the most shy of all farts and might be compared with the wood thrush, a very shy bird. It does not have the sly or cunning sound of the Whisper Fart. It is just a very small clear fart with no odour at all. Very rare.

The Chinese Firecracker Fart - This is an exceptional multiple noted fart identified by the number, and variety of its noises, mostly pops and bangs. Often when you think it is all over, it still has a few pops and bangs to go. In friendly company this one can get applause. Uncommon.

The Command Fart - Sweetbabydee07This fart differs from the Anticipated Fart in that it can be held for long periods of time waiting for the right moment. Unlike the Anticipated Fart, it is intended to be noticed. She recently held a Command Fart for the whole time she was blogging and saved it for when she wanted to spread the wurrrrrd. (That’s an in joke from here sweetbabydee07

The Common Fart - This fart needs little description. It is to the world of farts what the house sparrow is to the world of birds. I can see no point in describing this far any further.

The Crowd Fart economickrisisThe Crowd Fart is distinguished by its very potent odour, strong enough to make quite a few people look around. The trick here is not to identify the fart but the farter. This is almost impossible unless the farter panics, and starts a fit of coughing or starts staring at the ceiling or the sky as though something up there fascinates him. In which case he is the one. Very common.

The Cushioned Fart - A concealed fart, sometimes successful. The farter is usually on the fat side, sometimes a girl. They will squirm and push their butt way down into the cushions of a sofa or over-stuffed chair and ease-out a fart very carefully without moving then or for some time after. Some odour may escape, but usually not much. Common with some people.

The Did An Angel Speak Fartbalibabe19This is any loud fart in church. This fart was first called to my attention by PreciousOrchid. She probably read about it somewhere. For fart watchers who go to church, this is a good one to watch for as this is the only place it can be found.

The Dud Fart - The Dud Fart is not really a fart at all. It's a fart that fails. For this reason it is strictly a group one identification fart, because there is no real way you can identify a fart that somebody else expected to fart but didn't. It is the most private of all farts. In most cases the farter usually feels a little disappointed.

The Echo FarteroticaxtcThis is a fart that can be wrongly identified. It is not some great loud fart in an empty gym or on the rim of the Grand Canyon. The true Echo Fart is a fart that makes its own echo. It is a two-toned fart, the first tone loud, then a pause, and then the second tone. Like an echo.

The G and L Fart
This is one of the most ordinary and pedestrian of farts, known to everyone. Certainly it is the least gross. If you have not already guessed, G and L stands for Gambled and Lost. One of the most embarrassing of all farts, even when you are alone.

The Ghost Fart - A doubtful fart in most cases, as it is supposed to be identified by odour alone and to occur, for instance, in an empty house. You enter and smell a fart, yet no one is there. People will insist that only a fart could have that odour, but some believe it is just something that happens to smell like a fart.

The Hic-Hachoo-Fart Fart - This is strictly an old lady's fart. What happens is that the person manages to hiccough, sneeze, and fart all at the same time. After an old lady farts a Hic-Hachoo-Fart Fart she will usually pat her chest and say, "My, oh my," or "Well, well." There is no reason she should not be proud, as this is probably as neat an old person's fart as there is.

The Jerk Fart - The Jerk Fart is a fart by a jerk who smirks, smiles, grins, and points to himself in case you missed it. It is usually a single-noted, off-key, fading away, sort of whistle fart, altogether pitiful, but the jerk will act as if he has just farted the Biggest Fart in the World Fart.

The Toilet FartfotogodThe Toilet Fart is simply any ordinary fart farted on the toilet. It is naturally a group one identification, with the sound, whatever it was, somewhat muffled. If it is all the person's trip to the toilet amounted to he will be disappointed for sure. Common as pigeons. This is the fart that inspired the poem
Here I sit broken hearted
Went for a shit and only farted

The Lead Fart
- The heaviest of all farts. It sounds like a dropped ripe watermelon. Or a falling body in some cases. It is the only fart that goes thud. Except for the odour, which is also very heavy, it could be missed altogether as a fart. What was that, you might think? And never guess.

The Malted Milk Ball FartSaintlianaOdour alone is diagnostic and positively identifies this fart. It smells exactly like malted milk balls. No other food works this way. It is rare.

The Oh My God Fart
mistressnessaThis is the most awful and dreadful stinking of all farts - a fart that smells like a month-old rotten egg - as the Oh My God Fart. If you should ever encounter it, however, you may first want to say, oh sh*t, which would be understandable.

The Omen Fart - This is the adult version of the Poo-Poo Fart. About the only difference is that the farter will not say anything. He will just look kind of funny and head for the toilet. This one is easy to spot if you pay attention.

The Organic Fart - Sometimes called the Health Food Nut Fart. The person who farts an Organic Fart may be talking about the healthy food he eats even when he farts. If he is heavily into health foods he may even ask if you noticed how good and pure and healthy his fart smells. It may smell to you like any other fart, but there is no harm in agreeing with him. He is doing what he thinks is best.

The Quiver Fart - A group one identification fart only. When you fart, it quivers. If it tickles, then it is the Tickle Fart. If you have to scratch it, then it is the Scratcharse Fart.

The Rambling Phaduka Fartkelli4u2dewYou must not be fooled by its pretty-sounding name, as this is one of the most frightening of all farts. It is frightening to farter and spectator alike. It has a sound of pain to it. What is most diagnostic about it, however, is its length. It is the longest-lasting fart there is. It will sometimes leave the farter unable to speak. As though he has had the wind knocked out of him. A strong, loud, wavering fart, it goes on for at least fifteen seconds.

The Relief Fart - Sound or odour don't matter on this one. What matters is the tremendous sense of relief that you have finally farted. Some people will even say, "Wow, what a relief." Very common.

The Reluctant Fart - This is probably one of the oldest farts known to man. The Reluctant Fart is a fart that seems to have a mind of its own. It gives the impression that it likes staying where it is. It will come when it is ready, not before. This can take half-a-day in some instances.

The Rusty Gate Fart - The sound of this fart seems almost impossible for a fart. Is is the most dry and squeaky sound a fart can make. The Rusty Gate Fart sounds as if it would have worked a lot easier if it had been oiled. It sounds like a fart that hurts.

The S.B.D. Fart ‒ [photo amoldenough]S.B.D. stands for Silent But Deadly. This is no doubt one of the most common farts that exists. No problem of identification with this one.

The Sandpaper Fart ‒ [photo cognitivevoodoo]This one scratches. Otherwise it may not amount to much. You should remember that if you reach back and scratch, it automatically becomes a Scratcharse Fart. Common.

The Benchsaw Fart ‒ [photo catkitt13]A truly awesome fart. It vibrates the farter. Really shakes him up. People back away. It sounds like an electric benchsaw ripping through a piece of half-inch plywood. Very impressive. Not too common.
The Sonic Boom Fart ‒ [photo sheople]The people who believe in this fart claim it is even bigger than the Biggest Fart In The World Fart. The Sonic Boom Fart is supposed to shake the house and rattle the windows. This is ridiculous. No fart in the world shakes houses and rattles windows. A fart that could do that would put the farter into orbit or blow his crazy head off.

The Splatter Fart ‒ [photo expatbrit49]Unfortunately the Splatter Fart exists. It is the wettest of all farts. It probably should not be called a fart at all.

The Stutter Fart ‒ [photo oootboy]If you think stuttering is funny, this is a very funny fart. It is a fart that can't seem to get going. The sound is best described as pt,pt,pt-pt,pt-pt-pt,pop,pop-pop-pop-POW! It is usually a forced-out fart that gets caught crossways, as they say, and only gets farted after considerable effort.

The McDonalds Fart ‒ [photo Benkai7]The McDonalds Fart is far richer and full-bodied than your ordinary Junk Fart and takes longer to build up. Sometimes hours or even a day. But it will get there. And it will hang around after, too. Even on a windy day.

The Teflon Fart ‒ [photo xxspecialkxx]Slips out without a sound and no strain at all. A very good fart in situations where you would rather not fart at all. You can be talking to someone and not miss saying a word. If the wind is right he will never know.

The Thank God I'm Alone Fart ‒ [photo parkingspacereq]Everyone knows this rotten fart. You look around after you have farted and say, "Thank God I'm alone." Then you get out of there fast!

The Tickle Fart ‒ [photo freetime648]A group one only and one of the easiest to identify. Usually a slow soft sort of fart. If you like being tickled this is the fart for you!

I have many more but, as I am still pissd from last night, I'll stop there. I'm probably gonna regret this post when I'm free of alcohol. Oh well.

Tell me your fart experiences, embarrasing ones especially

freetime648 53F

8/12/2006 12:30 am

And I do love being tickled... As for an embarr-ASS-ing fart moment...I do not have any...I do not fart..... I FLUFF!

xx FREETIME648 xx

funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 12:32 am:
Bollocks, everybody farts, you obviously do the 'that was him/her variety', yet to be posted

economickrisis 56M

8/12/2006 12:44 am

Still restin on yer laurels as a farter

[post 460923]

funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 1:59 am:
Not resting, thinking. That may well be an alien concept to you ya aussi twat

TabithaElectra 39F

8/12/2006 12:54 am

OMG!!! You are so going to pay for this... someway...somehow!

Anybody reading this ~ it is NOT true, he made it all up ~ I am going to sue his farting ass!

funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 12:56 am:
You told me there were loads of bubbles
Go sue, Im willing to pay

funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 12:58 am:
I just remembered, you said you burst the bubbles that lay on the top of the water with a pem

rm_saintlianna 46F
15466 posts
8/12/2006 12:57 am

Hey, I like Malted Milk Balls, so that works out perfectly

I should start selling Malted Milk Ball scented candles...

funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 1:02 am:
Perhaps fart flavoured fragrance sticks too

maverick1255 52M
3953 posts
8/12/2006 1:21 am

The mind is such a terrible thing to waste!!!!!!

Glad to see you are making full use of it!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!

I don't see how much sicker it can get!!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 1:24 am:
Stick around for the analysis of vomits

papyrina 52F
21133 posts
8/12/2006 1:32 am

i much prefer farting on buses silently Saddamm and bin would be so proud of me

I'm a

i'm here to stay

funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 2:00 am:
Ya've got the arse for it

BaronessK 53F

8/12/2006 1:35 am

B stands for Baroness and Bonnie and Bollocks to Blimey Brit Gits with toilet humoUr!

And, NO, it's not 'consolation' that you keep having me 'win'!

funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 9:53 pm:
Sod you all then, next time I do a comp your gonna lose at the first hurdle, ungrateful git.

ella1966 51F
1528 posts
8/12/2006 1:50 am

Forget farting, I want those damn shoes of hers!

funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 2:00 am:
I'm not sure that they are farting shoes babe

EroticaXTC 51F

8/12/2006 2:20 am


funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 9:53 pm:
LY A off?? You wont be able to fart babe

Cozy_Red 51F

8/12/2006 2:34 am

Too funny for words ...lmaooo

funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 9:54 pm:
How about phuuuuut, pppppop??

rm_Animal_73 44M
64 posts
8/12/2006 3:08 am

The bullet fart???? oh come on and give me some credit, more like a 12 bore or a blunderbuster at times

Now, if you are going ot fart in the bath, it has to be a cast iron bath with out any doubt and it has to be in an upstairs bathroom which is located either above a kitchen, lounge or dinning room, basically where anybody sits down stairs. plastic baths just aren't the same and dont do farts justice!

The sound that comes from a cast iron bath with the right fart can send shock waves going through the house. You can either get shouts of "You Dirty Bastard" or a round of applause if the right people are in the house.

funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 9:55 pm:
Listen you smooth talking git, TabithaElectra has the franchise on bath farts. She will be angry if you try to take her title away

tracy_de_lacy 106F
9268 posts
8/12/2006 3:19 am

I will have you know I am no beginner at the art of farting. It is transparently obvious you have never met me my dear windy friend. I am a conscience free farter. It is my fart and whether it e quiet and smelly or loud and less fumey, it is mine and I want the world to know it.

No education is required on the ancient art of the multi-tonal fart for this Glasgow girl.

As a poet called Rabbie once said " wherever ye may be...let your wind gang free"

It's also bad for ya to hold them in

Bye everyone, it was a blast

funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 9:56 pm:
Y'see I was trying to be nice to you, we all know Glaswegians fart from all orifices from birth

JuicyBBW1001 56F

8/12/2006 3:30 am

Here is a story for you. K and I where at our favorite amusement park one day and I happen to fart what I refer to a silent but deadly fart and we happen to standing by a group of people looking at the elephants. Anyway someone commented about the smell and that it must be the elephant dung. K spoke up and said in her smart ass way nope that isn't elephant poop that came from my mom.


funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 9:57 pm:
Aint kids sweet? You trade her in for a new one??

IAmRubytuesday 56F
3193 posts
8/12/2006 3:57 am

I never fart - had my farting strings tied. I did see an interview with Edward Woodward once where he said Omar Sharif calls him 'fart in a bath' because his name sounds like one!

Q.2 flies in an airing cupboard. Which one's the soldier?
A.The one on the tank.

funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 9:57 pm:
You must burp really loud and smelly then, it has to come out spmewhere

rm_Benkai7 56M
2358 posts
8/12/2006 5:11 am

Dear "funintheday2006".

... Juchuu ... ... "The McDonalds Fart" ... ...

truly it is named "Jason愀 Special - Fart" it works (it愀 adaptable for a lot of other situations) like this:

... didn愒 have time to make a reservation for a restaurant,

I feed Jason,
my niece愀 dog with some paunch ... joining a good restaurant ... being sure a table will be free for my guests and me shortly after we arrive ... ...

... ...

Benkai7 - just my opinion & experience ...

funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 9:59 pm:
Sensei, you would clear the restaurant, pick a table

rm_iwannatellu 46F
933 posts
8/12/2006 5:23 am

I don't know which is scarier - that I cried with laughter reading this, and had to stop half way to recover, or that you took the time to think about all this info and type it out!

I love your blog!

funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 9:59 pm:
mmm, I'm not sure either

Damn_Dilemma 50F

8/12/2006 7:37 am

I'm not use to that word but I was taught that, if you don't pay rent, let the wind go free!!!!!!
I break wind
" hello my hero " {=}

funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 10:00 pm:
Ah, wind reedome is a good point, although I cannot imagine anyone paying for it

Bloody_Quandary 50F

8/12/2006 8:05 am

Oh you a big tease oh beautiful and sexy fun god! you no i is always cracking one off in social situations and you make fun of my machine-gunning! ~smiles~ i cant get the stain out me dressing gown and me daughter thinks i been sitting on a kit-kat.

now do a blog on involuntary shiting and make me feel accepted. Me bent down in pet food isle in the Co-op on Wigan High Street yesterday to get me purse out me brown plastic shopping bag wot i bought on t'market and ended up pebble-dashing the fookin Winalot! I wouldnt mind but i had only called in for a tin of fookin beans.

Take care handsome and beautiful kind sir wot is me friend ( )(=)(=)(=)(=)(=)(=)(=)(=)(=)(=)

funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 10:01 pm:
You should've aimed for the cat food, more feline in it

Bloody_Quandary 50F

8/12/2006 8:17 am

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!! THERE SHE IS AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! You trying to make me lose one of me minds beautiful lady? You not funny u no you very scarey!!!!
now u made me shit meself again. Take care ~smiles~{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=){=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}{=}

funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 10:02 pm:
Calm down.

4biddenlove4us 50F

8/12/2006 8:28 am

ROTFLAO @ Bloody_Quandary

funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 10:02 pm:
Be careful where it comes off


8/12/2006 8:53 am


DB for ya!

Thats MOffia Drive By and it is always done with a lead fart!


just a squirrel trying to get a nut

funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 10:03 pm:
Missed me, got Fotogod though

CognitiveVoodoo 46F

8/12/2006 12:32 pm

Maybe it's the way I sit, but I often release little bubbles that come up the "crack" ... all the way to the top/front (Hello!) where they burst one by one. Kind of my own version of anal beads. I like to call it the "Clit Bubble" Fart.

I'm not ashamed to mention, also, that when I feel the need to pass gas, I purposely try to sit in this certain position.

If you gotta fart, why not enjoy it, huh?

funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 10:04 pm:
I think you may be dwelling on this post just a tad too much

wickedeasy 68F  
31113 posts
8/12/2006 2:36 pm


you forgot the pussy fart

You cannot conceive the many without the one.

funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 10:06 pm:
Ah, that is not a fart as such, only women can do it so there is a different list (no doubt Ill do that too!!)
I remember some of the categoories though:
The cock shaker
The lip Quiverer
The ball blower
just to mention a few

catkit13 67F

8/12/2006 6:07 pm

and you shared this WHY???

funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 10:06 pm:
I am generous in my spreading of knowledge

BaronessK 53F

8/12/2006 8:41 pm

    Quoting rm_fotogod:
    The Fun Fart funintheday2006
    When one stands in front of the busiest entrance to a mall, with microphone in hand, placing said microphone next to ass, blows a very long and loud fart, all the while pretending it is music to the ears. Then asks for applause.
Take that brit git...and learn why they say, "Don't mess with Texas!"

funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 9:12 pm:
Bollocks, ya auld git, check the latest post, just up your street that one

amoldenough 71F
16436 posts
8/12/2006 9:46 pm

Psst-the pussy fart can't be counted as it's not really a real fart.

And how did you know what kind if farts I fart? You were right on.

And you forgot the walking fart. My mother used to do this one. With each step she took, she past gas. You didn't want to be behind her on the stairs. Then often times, she would put her hand back there as if to keep it from escaping!!! How obvious. She doesn't do it much anymore. Maybe she's not eating gaseous food.

"Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened."

funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 10:08 pm:
Is that going upstairs or down?? Does it depend on your height?
Maybe she doesn't walk as much

JuicyBBW1001 56F

8/12/2006 10:12 pm

Are you kidding I wouldn't trade her for nothing. You see she inspires me to do great things and no one before her was ever able to do that.


funintheday2006 replies on 8/12/2006 10:25 pm:
Awwwwwwww bless, your gonna have to teach her to keep schtum about you farting then

marnison 80F

8/12/2006 11:22 pm


did someone use the F word

fluffing....up my pillow.

funintheday2006 replies on 8/13/2006 12:23 am:
Not on my blog hon, I dont swear

LustyTaurus 49M
21253 posts
8/13/2006 12:05 am


I had my farts down to about 3 maybe four different kinds...now I got a friggin PhD in passing gas!!......can I put that on my resume`??...

funintheday2006 replies on 8/13/2006 12:26 am:
ROFLMAO You fucking crack me up you do

EroticaXTC 51F

8/13/2006 3:35 am

That's an echo silly!!!

funintheday2006 replies on 8/13/2006 3:37 am:
Even I can make a mistake

Balibabe19 43F

8/13/2006 6:02 pm

Yikes...to this day I have still managed to convince my kids that I don't fart because I lost the ability whilst giving birth....it also helps to have three Rhodesian Ridgebacks I can blame!!

BTW how the fuck did you know I loved to fart in church?? LMAO

funintheday2006 replies on 8/13/2006 9:34 pm:
The vicar told me

lustcurious42 57F

8/13/2006 9:09 pm

I am just so glad that I haven't yet farted while having my pussy licked and sucked............but I guess I have a few more years

funintheday2006 replies on 8/13/2006 9:34 pm:
You will be on edge now all the time

HeatedCondition 62M
890 posts
8/13/2006 11:56 pm

LOL!!!! I'm still laughing, that was great! And that is at least partly due to the fact that I've committed every one of those types of farts in just the past 72 hours!


funintheday2006 replies on 8/14/2006 12:12 am:
Jesus H Christ, let me have your diet plan, that is fucking awesome

4biddenlove4us 50F

8/14/2006 1:56 am

I'm starting to wonder

funintheday2006 replies on 8/14/2006 3:46 am:
Which one did you do

HeatedCondition 62M
890 posts
8/14/2006 3:15 pm

"Jesus H Christ, let me have your diet plan, that is fucking awesome"

For breakfast, a hearty helping of chili and beans. Don't hold back, eat alot! Smother them in chili pepper and hot sauce, and lots of onions on top.

For lunch, see above ... eat 'em til ya can't stand the sight of 'em.

For dinner, a plate full of brussel sprouts and broccoli. This will enhance the smelly effect of your farts. Got to have quality! Then enjoy working your way down that list the next day!

funintheday2006 replies on 8/14/2006 8:46 pm:
mmmmm, coca cola and beer for drinks and that would be perfect

rm_turtleBurp 45F
1273 posts
8/14/2006 5:22 pm

Nowt beats an amplified fart, especially on the wooden floor in a school assembly (ok so it was a fair few years ago).

My fave these days tho is the vibrato fart: it's easier if you have help for this one cos you have to wobble your butt cheeks as you fart. The quality of the vibrato sound however, does depend on the original fart type.

funintheday2006 replies on 8/14/2006 8:46 pm:
You need professional help

EyeCandy33333 45F
761 posts
8/14/2006 8:46 pm

I didn't realize farting was so complicated-lol-need to take Farting 101!Most could probably pass it ya think?

funintheday2006 replies on 8/14/2006 10:28 pm:
The only pass you can rely on is wind

tracy_de_lacy 106F
9268 posts
8/15/2006 1:01 am

ya can't beat the good old curry fart for unique aroma

Bye everyone, it was a blast

funintheday2006 replies on 8/15/2006 1:34 am:
That'll be the Glasgow Gasp then will it

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