funintheday2006 57M
8366 posts
7/19/2006 9:41 pm

Last Read:
7/21/2006 10:08 am


Before I start, I will answer my emails before the end of the day, sorry for delays, I have been really busy.

On with it……………a day in the life of…….

A day of work that has hammered home how much we rely on those little ‘crutches’ w use to get us through. My day has been a fucking sit com script so sit back and wonder, do people really pay this man??

So it all started when the alarm on my phone went off yesterday at 5am. (2 CRUTCHES) Now I’ve never needed an alarm and I dislike mobile phones so why I’ve got either is a mystery. Now, this phone is loud and relentless and I am driving on a motorway, the phone is going off like a cat on heat and it’s in a pocket in the back of the car. Service area, 20 miles so pull over on to hard shoulder to silence the damn thing. Safety conscious I walk around the car to the side away from the Lorries thundering past. Tripped over a piece of discarded tyre and went arse over tit onto the tarmac.
Oh, a good start to the day.
Grabbed offending item and silenced it, got into car and put it in its hands free cradle.
I don’t know why I do that I NEVER answer a mobile phone, I don’t even know why I’ve got one really. On saying that I actually have 24 or so on contract, I probably was given mine!

Anyhooo, arrived to do banal banter to the masses and have to change my clothes, yup, dirty light coloured trousers spread across dirty motorway not good for making speech on stage. Ooops, didn’t expect this, only packed casual gear. This means shorts.
Quick change into shorts and thinking rapidly to justify my appearance. Arrived on the stage to a deafening silence, apathy and a few raised eyebrows, not least those of the guy paying £1000 + expenses for a beach bum to talk to his peoples.

Subject is marketing psychology so I change things around a bit; alter my talk to explain the (intentional!) dress sense. I was getting away with it too and then, the power to the sockets went.:B
This meant the lights were all on, I was expected to continue and I had lost my HUD lectern, PowerPoint slides and remote control. (3 CRUTCHES).
When I do these talks I am animated, I walk around, arms like a windmill on steroids, pacing, waving, pointing, looking to see whose eyes follow me, who is actually listening, that kinda shit. This means that apart from the remote in my hand I don’t really use the lectern or look at the screen.
Now I’m frozen, all my gadgets gone and only the laptop still going, has it enough power??
I have reverted to a lectern gripping idiot and my knobbly knees staring at the delegates from under the glass is all I can think about. Stumbled on for about 5 mins and all power was restored. I’m gonna buy a generator to take with me in future, that was scary!!
So sweaty hands wrung out, thank you’s dome I head off for my next meeting at 5.30, plenty of time, only an hour away.
Put postcode of hotel in Satnav (1 CRUTCH) and off I poodle. I already know where this hotel is, been there a number of times so why satnav? Habit.

Driving along and I’m thinking, I don’t remember this way and I’ve been driving for over an hour and 15mins. Pull over check satnav and 1 postcode digit entered wrongly. Shit, readjust and off I go. Drive through the city and stop to buy trousers, next meeting is with company having problems, shorts not a good idea.

Eventually turn up at hotel with an hour to spare. Usual check in and go to room to change and have shower.
Naturally, first thing I do is take laptop (1 CRUTCH) out to login for my work emails. No wireless connection available!!! WHAT, you have to be kidding. Dial up only and not ADSL!!!

1 minute later, me in reception, complete with bags. GET ME ANOTHER HOTEL, ONE THAT ARRIVED IN THIS CENTURY, AND DO IT NOW. Why aren’t you charging last century’s prices? Oh, you would not believe it, my pet lip was jutting out, I was angry, petulant, my dummy (pacifier) got spat out and every toy in my pushchair littered reception. When I want my own way, I get it, trust me!

Luckily, hotel 5 mins away so I install myself there, shower and drive back to original hotel with 10 mins to spare.

Job done I go back to new hotel but, not before a bit of a tussle about whether I will be charged for the room I did not have. We reached a compromise; they decided it was worth dropping the charge in order not to suffer me any longer. My kind of compromise!!

In the next hour I have broken the shower curtain, stubbed my toe on the desk legs and managed to turn the aircon (1 CRUTCH) onto maximum temperature, in a heat wave!
No way was I eating tonight, I’d spill it over myself so, ordered a half bottle of wine and some grapes for the room and then decided to get some water from the machine I espied as I came in.

Vended 2 bottles of water into drawer and decided to get a coke. Not healthy but, I do like it. So money in, press buttons and said bottle is pushed from top of machine into drawer landing on top of water. Pulls drawer to get my goods and it will not open. It only holds max 2 bottles so my coke is jamming it!
Look around to see if I’m going to embarrass myself too much, no one there. Take hold of drawer with both hands and give it a mighty tug. That does it, drawer flies open, coke bottle splits and I’ve struck oil, gas and fluid spewing a metre high. Grabs the water and scoots back to room to clean up.
Another shower, fortunately, changed into shorts so, apart from T shirt and bottles, only me to clean!!
Rang to see where said wine was and when it appeared young girl apologised saying she had been waylaid by a mess in the corridor that had to be cleaned up immediately.
Guilty as hell I gave her a bigger than usual tip.

Blogged, felt better!!!
Point is I needed 9 crutches to get me through the day, NONE of which are vital to my life or work, there are alternatives.
Are we becoming too dependant on this kind of thing? Should we do more for ourselves and rely less on the ‘EASY’ way or embrace the changes technology makes??

I know I’m a walking disaster, clumsy as hell. I think I’m going to kill myself one day with a ‘progress’ item!!!



rm_mmmgoodnova 107M/107F
1259 posts
7/19/2006 10:47 pm

LMAO. Yes, I'm clumsy. But not quite like that, at least not that I can remember!

Thanks for sharing. Crutches...interesting way to put it. I would have liked to have seen your knees.

Oh, and yes, do embrace change. If it doesn't kill you first.

Would it be trite, or make you scream, at this point to tell you to "have a nice day"? (But it is sincerely meant!)

funintheday2006 replies on 7/20/2006 6:20 am:
Trite?? I've just dropped a pallet off a fork lift. Not normally a problem unless your lifting glass theremometers..... obviously damaged in transit

helga_hansen 50F
1987 posts
7/19/2006 11:48 pm

They are definitely "crutches", if you need them. (As an aside... crotch is that little bit of fabric that cradles Nemo and his nutty pals.. ).

Listing them... mobile - got one too. Could I live without it... probably, but I don't want to. I don't have the hands-free gizmo either - talking on a mobile while driving is a no-no, hands-free or not. Full stop.

Alarm - I only use mine every other day (long story, but it involves washing long hair).

Presentation gizmos - don't do your job, so don't need them. I wouldn't consider them a crutch though... more tools of your trade?

Laptop - surgically attached to my heart. Touch my laptop and die.

SatNav - what is it with you guys and directions??? I don't have a SatNav, but I do have a map book - and yes... I DO KNOW HOW TO USE IT!

As for an aircon - all I'll say is "lucky bastard"...


PS. Lol... almost forgot - I'm not usually clumsy...

Love, hugs and kisses from ♥♥HH♥♥

funintheday2006 replies on 7/20/2006 8:13 pm:
Not USUALLY??? Do I detect memories comin back then??

EroticaXTC 51F

7/20/2006 2:51 am

I usually have at least one clumsy episode a day,
crutches...I've had both kinds, lol, bad knee and all that
I prefer the luxury type though

funintheday2006 replies on 7/20/2006 8:13 pm:
Ah luxury, like seeeing your photo you mean?? Where HAS it gone to??

000TBoy 43M
194 posts
7/20/2006 3:51 am

I'm not too clumsy, just fucking stupid!

How many times do I go back into the house to pick up a crutch that I've left behind?!!

funintheday2006 replies on 7/20/2006 8:14 pm:
Clumsy? I dont know but I do agreee with the rest

IAmRubytuesday 56F
3193 posts
7/20/2006 7:31 am

Yes, i am clumsy. I regularly trip over my own feet. I am also extremely forgetful and have very poor time-managment and absolutely no organisation skills whatsoever. I am, however, very creative. All this, apparently, is due to the fact that i am left-handed, and predomonantly right brained. I have an IQ of 128, which is supposedly quite high, but with no common sense, what is the point? My crutch was an indexed book, in which i kept a log of where everything is kept in the house, ie: under S - Sellotape - 3rd drawer down in kitchen. I lost the book. It is an A5 sized fluorescent pink spiral book. Has anybody seen it? x

Q.2 flies in an airing cupboard. Which one's the soldier?
A.The one on the tank.

funintheday2006 replies on 7/20/2006 8:15 pm:
If, erm, you find that boog and its next to the green one with the sticker on the front that says LEAVE ON COFFEE TABLE will you let me know, I changed coffee tables a couple of months ago and....

rm_Benkai7 56M
2358 posts
7/20/2006 10:26 am

Hello "funintheday2006".

So you have every day an unusual, adventures and interesting day ... ... I like that ... keeps the mind open and flexible ... smile ... nearly human ... ...


funintheday2006 replies on 7/20/2006 8:16 pm:
I WOULD NOT go so far as to say I am human, God forbid, but I do attract accidents. Even lived with one for a short time!!!

eveready06 43M

7/20/2006 10:39 am

Dislocated my leg three times, twice when drunk! Fell down a manhole at a party! One leg only lol fuck that was painful! So yeah I'm not what you'd call graceful lol!

funintheday2006 replies on 7/20/2006 8:18 pm:
You ever considered ballet?? You'd be a fucking hoot Thought: YOU in tights.... maybe not eh?

HBowt2 60F

7/20/2006 11:43 am

there are days....doing talks like this I can just imagine you...and i tend to be aninimated too ...but the only crutch i use is an small card with the few messeges i want to leave when i am finished

funintheday2006 replies on 7/20/2006 8:19 pm:
Saw a corporate video of one I did last year. OMG!!!! I wa like Bugs Bunny on heat!! Camera panned out so it could keep up

phoenix639 50F

7/20/2006 1:36 pm

Fun, youve no idea how much better i felt after reading this.

I thought i was the only person who had 'episodes' now i know others do too i feel quite normal.

People dont believe me when i tell them of my mishaps...
pressing stop button on treadmill & not waiting for it to slow down so i shoot off the end.

Being dangled out of the first floor window handcuffed wearing nothing but a rugby shirt & a thong.

Being on the cross trainer that long my toes have gone numb so when i try to step off it i stumble & look pissed.

Getting my necklace caught in the jacuzzi & almost garroted.

Sat for a whole hour talking to a boyfriends family only to find out they were total strangers who didnt even speak english.

Oh the list goes on....

funintheday2006 replies on 7/20/2006 8:22 pm:
Yo Phoe, ok hon? Now I have never done the thong bit but, I have locked myself out of a hotel room in boxers whilst putting the tray outside and had to go down in the lift to reception for spare key..... And erm... Oh shit... Waldorf in London.... Big lift... many people... no one said a word....

eveready06 43M

7/21/2006 9:33 am

    Quoting eveready06:
    Dislocated my leg three times, twice when drunk! Fell down a manhole at a party! One leg only lol fuck that was painful! So yeah I'm not what you'd call graceful lol!
funintheday2006 replies on 7/21/2006 4:18 am:
You ever considered ballet?? You'd be a fucking hoot Thought: YOU in tights.... maybe not eh?

Did I not mention my heady days in the Bolshoi???

funintheday2006 replies on 7/21/2006 10:10 am:
Oh , I might have known, bragging git
You do know that Bolshoi is Russian for LARGE dont you? You cannot sneak one like that past me, try again boyo

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