Bank/Public holiday musings  

funintheday2006 57M
8366 posts
5/27/2006 3:29 am

Last Read:
8/7/2006 5:33 am

Bank/Public holiday musings

9am and already second blog started today!

Bank holidays are a strange time for me, got a few invites for dinner bbq’s etc. probably with the usual ‘spare woman’ and more than a smattering of wannabe cupids hovering in the background.
Why do people do that?
It is so demeaning for both parties who are usually unaware of the planning and preparation that has gone into finding their soul-mates for them.
I am not sure who is usually the most embarrassed and cheesed off, the lady victim or me. That’s a thought, is she the victim or me?

I tend to hibernate at work at these times of the year and am unsure which is the best option! At the gatherings, at least I get fed!

Working today and meeting the great British public as they collect things we couldn’t deliver, I feel like postman Pat.
Locking the door in 15 minutes, hate it.
Last Christmas Day I came in, loaded up a van full of hampers that we had failed to deliver and spent about 8 hours delivering them. Why? Because I could not get out of my head the thought of some child somewhere not getting the pudding coz I did not make an effort. That day delivered about 25-30 hampers, went home to a cheese/biscuit/wine dinner and the only thing missing was a thank you. So, bollocks, never again!
Mind you, I’ll probably still get the guilt feelings this year and do it anyway!

Got home last night and my, well, I don’t know what to call her really, she comes in and ‘does’ for me like making sure my cats are ok, let out, let in, hoovering done, ironing, that sort of thing. She is not a housekeeper or cleaner though, the relationship is a step or two removed from that. She acts sort of like a surrogate aunt. All I have to do is ensure there is a bottle of JD near the ironing board and that’s the day it gets done.
A character and a half she is a travel agent for male guilt trips and has a thriving business. I will get phone calls at work from her saying “ The cats are crying for you, what time will you be in?” What bullshit is that? Cats don’t cry for people they scream for food, wail for water, scratch to be let out but, NOT cry for people. Yet I find myself making strenuous efforts to call in the house during the day to show my face. WHY? One cat is invariably sleeping on my pillow ( got that sussed, change it when I get up so, no hairs on me!), and the other snoring as close as possible to the food dishes.
Her husband, a poor creature if there ever was one, is subjected to a constant tirade of caustic venom that is meant as humour but exits her facial orifice sounding like pure unadulterated poison!
Apparently they met at a school dance and his opening line was “Is this seat empty?” to which she daintily replied, “ Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.”
This set the scene for a beautiful relationship that has lasted, to date, 40 years+.

The cats. Why have I got them, I do not even like cats. It happened 7 years ago when I stopped off at a pet shop in Spain, where I was living, to collect a large bag of food for a friends dogs. Waiting to be served ( a lifetime in Spain), I wandered around and came across an enormous cage with this small Persian kitten in it, looking helpless and unhappy. Wont hurt to put my hand in the cage and stroke it will it? Bloody thing attached itself to my arm and has been there ever since. After a few months and the inevitable visit to the vets to ensure limiting of felines in the house I got to thinking perhaps she needed a friend. Don’t know how it happened but one day I am in same pet shop and there is a pure white Persian male kitten, all alone, yea I got it. Comes the time I return to Blighty after buying said business, unsure what to do with cats. So we all sat down and had a talk over the Whiskas and it was unanimously decided that whilst any human could take care of them, they had trained me and were unimpressed at the prospect of breaking in a new homo-sapien.
Organised the vet for pet passports etc as required on this island of paper pushers and trundled to the travel agents to arrange tickets for us all. Wanted to get a seat on the plane for them and even offered to get first class, all to no avail. In the end they had to settle for the hold, and they were non too pleased I can tell you. The other anomaly is that the ticket for each cat cost 7 times more than mine did. I complained and was told they were livestock. I’m livestock, says I, and I get to sit down with plastic offerings, who will feed them?
Anyway, we got here and they are both still controlling me.

Summer is here.
Whats with all the plastic furniture then? England seems to have an insatiable appetite for plastic garden bits. Does it only last for one season? Is it a fashion accessory? How many times a year can you sit out in this godforsaken weather?
Do you know its an oil product and your destroying the planet? Chop a tree down and have wood instead.

I’ll probably be back later, stop me going to a garden party in the rain anyway!

Have fun

funintheday2006 57M
9659 posts
5/28/2006 12:51 am

They are wonderful creatures in truth aren't they?
So much love for a dish of food!
Can't have a flap coz the male is too fat to get out of one! Female spends all time I am at home either on my shoulder or my pillow. Names are cat and 2cat coz I'm inventive.Oh, this is cat IMPRESSIVE. Have a pool at my Spain home and female goes swimming. TRUE.

Become a member to create a blog