AMERICANS HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOUR  

funintheday2006 57M
8366 posts
8/4/2006 8:12 am

Last Read:
8/9/2006 4:13 am

AMERICANS HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOUR

A statement made regularly on this side of the pond is that the US citizens, especially the men, have no sense of irony and are too sensitive to have a sense of humour.

Prove the fucking Brits wrong.. tell me a joke or a funny story.

Show them that the Americans are not anal retentive, as so many think.

Show them you have the ability to laugh at yourself

What makes your dimples appear on your cheek??
What makes your face ache with laughing??

This is your chance America, can you rise to the challenge???


Hey, you Brits, what do you think??
Do Americans fit the stereotype in your opinion??


JuicyBBW1001 55F

8/4/2006 12:47 pm

    Quoting rm_fotogod:
    I always thought it was you brits, that were all stuffy shirt, anal, don't laugh in public, sort of folk.
    Always worried about Keeping up appearances.
    All of the brits I've met have absolutely no sense of humor, just weird golden shower fantasies, so they can't get dates over here.
    And yall are still pissed off that we beat your arses a few hundred years ago.
    Yes! Kicked tour arses!

    But hey I could be wrong. Although I seriously doubt it.

    GOD! I crack myself up!
    But it is still true!


Juicy


funintheday2006 replies on 8/4/2006 7:06 pm:
You been out on the town again and got the clap?? @))

JuicyBBW1001 55F

8/4/2006 12:50 pm

ohh and by the way here is my sense of humor [post 454742]

Juicy


funintheday2006 replies on 8/4/2006 7:07 pm:
Your humour is blue typing??

hornylilgirl78 107F

8/4/2006 1:41 pm

Personally, I've always like a guy who was a bit into anal...oops wait...you're talking about something else...ok shutting up now!!


~Horny~

"I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week."


~HLG78~

"As kinky as a cheap garden hose!"


funintheday2006 replies on 8/4/2006 7:07 pm:
Thats called rimming

freetime648 53F

8/4/2006 2:26 pm

Is american..has a sense of humor, irony and a very sarcastic tendency.....BUT ..I am not a guy as you stated......3 out of 4 ain't too shabby me thinks!

By the way...did you hear about the rabbi, the camel and the juggler walking into a bar??????



xx FREETIME648 xx


funintheday2006 replies on 8/4/2006 7:08 pm:
Ya all came across to Europee to develp yall tho dint ya???

eveready06 43M

8/4/2006 2:28 pm

I've heard that too! But maybe were being overly harsh lol! After all I've met my fair share of brits who've had a sense of humour bypass too.


funintheday2006 replies on 8/4/2006 7:09 pm:
Oh me too, so many Brits are as anal as it gets.

rm_sexxikritter 53F
2715 posts
8/4/2006 2:57 pm

My first taste of British humor was Benny Hill, then Monty Python and I didn't miss an episode of "Are You Being Served?" once we got cable. I knew that there were at least SOME Brits with a sense of humor.
There are lots of things that make my dimples show and make me giggle. Lots that make me and too.
I'm may be a blonde, but I love the blonde jokes. Here are a few of my favorites:


Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?
Cause you have to hollow out it's head!


Why was the blonde in the tree?
Because she was raking up the leaves!

Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

Why can't Blondes dial 911?
They can't find the 11 on the phone!


What is eternity?
When 4 blondes meet at a 4-way-stop-sign-intersection!

Why did the blonde write "TGIF" on her shoes?
To remind her that "toes go in first."


What do you call a blonde who dies her hair brown?
Artificial intelligence.

Why did the blonde get thrown out of the M & M factory?
She kept throwing out all the W's.


How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
There's white-out on the screen.

What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear?
"Thanks for the refill!"

Why do blondes have more fun?
They are easier to keep amused.


My all time favorite:
How does a blonde know when sex is finished?
When the dome light in the car comes on!


funintheday2006 replies on 8/4/2006 7:12 pm:
Python, classic, BHill obvious and pervy, not for me really and saw a couple reruns of AYBS, found it badly acted and slapstick.
Now Some mothers do have em, Fawlty Towers and Vicar of Dibley, THAT is humour.

Love blonde jokes, they remind me of the Cliticals and Baronessk when Im not with them

digdug41 50M

8/4/2006 3:55 pm

interesting thought but I dont feel no kinna way about brits or americans it makes no never mind to me but here is a joke for you and I forget the name so we'll call it transportation for heaven
here it goes

three men are on the line to get into heaven, but in order to get around you need transportation and your transportation depends on how faithfulk you were to your wife on earth, so St peter asks the first man have you cheated on your wife?
the man says yes, St peter asks him if he did it once or many the man says only three times so he gives him a bike he goes through.
the second man comes up St peter asks him how many times he cheated on his wife the man says too many to count so he gives him a skateboard,
the third man comes up and he is asked the question and to St peters surprise the man says I never cheated so St peter congradulates the man and gives him a rolls royce

A week later

the guy on the bike see's the guy with the rolls one day crying sitting on the curb in front of his rolls and he asks him whats wrong? the man replies I just saw my wife and she was on rollerskates

hows that have a good weekend


roaming the cyber streets of blogland


funintheday2006 replies on 8/4/2006 7:14 pm:
None to me either dig, love that joke, thats humour Glad your back mate.

MaggiesWishes 61F

8/4/2006 4:01 pm

Ok,
I'm Bob Hope's sister, No Hope... glad to make ya day
Actually, you have to know me to get my 'funnies'

warm huggies 2ya


funintheday2006 replies on 8/4/2006 7:14 pm:
WE KNOW you have a sense of humour and we DO know where your funnies are sexy

complexlysimple 35M

8/4/2006 4:40 pm

Rise to the challenge? can say I really swing that way... maybe if you got some talented individuals like TheCliticals hanging around.....

Though I would have to agree with a British friend of mine complained about -what passes for comedy here in the US -a woman standing on stage announcing her period- isn't always that great ...though it was rather humorous to listen to him complain about it...


funintheday2006 replies on 8/4/2006 7:17 pm:
I gotta hold my hand up and say that as far as sitcoms go the cleverest I ever saw is US, Friends.
Obvious and sickly at times but the mix was pure genius. Apart from which Courtney aint so bad on the eyes
Never could understand why Aniston was the pin up from that series.

maverick1255 52M
3953 posts
8/4/2006 8:21 pm

Ok, Mister Smarty Pants!!!

The woman was in bed with her lover and had just told him how stupid her English husband was when the door was thrown open and there stood her husband. He glared at her lover and bellowed, "What are you doing?" "There," said the wife, "didn't I tell you he was stupid?"

One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer, and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer, and started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!!"

Five Englishmen boarded a train just behind five Scots, who, as a group had only purchased one ticket. Just before the conductor came through, all the Scots piled into the toilet stall at the back of the car. As the conductor passed the stall, he knocked and called"Tickets, please!" and one of the Scots slid a ticket under the door. It was punched, pushed back under the door, and when it was safe all the Scots came out and took their seats. The Englishmen were tremendously impressed by the Scots' ingenuity. On the trip back, the five Englishmen decided to try this themselves and purchased only one ticket. They noticed that, oddly, the Scots had not purchased any tickets this time. Anyway, again, just before the conductor came through, the Scots piled into one of the toilet stalls, the Englishmen into the other. Then one of the Scots leaned out, knocked on the Englishmen's stall and called "Ticket, Please!" When the ticket slid out under the door, he picked it up and quickly closed the door.

LMAO!!!!!!


funintheday2006 replies on 8/4/2006 8:43 pm:
ROFLMA)

Nina_Dee 62F

8/4/2006 11:59 pm

I don't have anything against Americans or Brits, just a joke for you.

An American drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches saying, "Can I help you sir?"

"Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr," the man replied.

The cop asks, "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"

"It wasss on the end of thisshh key," the man answered.

At about that time the cop looked down and saw the man's weiner hanging out of his fly for all the world to see. He asked the man, "Sir, are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"

Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out..."I'll be damned-----My girlfriend's gone, too!!!"


funintheday2006 replies on 8/5/2006 12:19 am:
ROFLMAO ROFLMAO THAT is a joke

IsThisBetter4u 107M

8/5/2006 12:19 am

2 atoms are walking down the street.
1 atom says to the other, "Hey, I just lost an electron"
the 2nd atom says, "Are you sure?"
the 1st atom says, "Yeah - I'm positive."


You can tell that one to kids.

Know the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
Snowballs.


You can tell that one to kids, too.

From "Slingblade"
2 fellers are peeing off the bridge.
1 feller says it's cold and the other feller says it's deep.


You gotta see the movie. It's funny "ha ha".

Good clean Yankee fun! Those are the only clean jokes I know, BTW.


funintheday2006 replies on 8/5/2006 12:20 am:
Ok, you coming back with the punch lines??

IsThisBetter4u 107M

8/5/2006 12:41 am

Ohhh, please! Those are great jokes for the kids. You just don't know any clean jokes so you scoff at the unknown. Damn, cheeky Brits!


funintheday2006 replies on 8/5/2006 12:51 am:
ROFLMAO. Now thats a good one

phoenix639 50F

8/5/2006 1:37 am

All i shall say on the matter is......you have a large american audience Mr Fun so they cant be all that bad.

Well you did have a large American audience, until this post pmsl.


funintheday2006 replies on 8/5/2006 1:56 am:
I only ask questions, never judge
I personally love the American sense of humour.
Did I wriggle ok then

rm_xxSpecialKxx 47F
1614 posts
8/5/2006 1:44 am

Hiya fun xx just confirming something here
the bit about they kicked our arses a few hundred years ago ok thats as maybe but didnt they actually buy for serious amounts of cash and to add salt to their wound hopefully lol And BRICK BY BRICK the wrong FUCKING BRIDGEEEEEEEEE ??? or am i really scraping the bottom of a Very Deep Barrel here defending our honour lol back me up now fun im backing you here hunnny lol thinks we could make a good tag team he he he

What do you call an American with a brain? Errrrrr GIFTED? Mwahhh joke lovely people xxx i love every 1 meee x have a super day 1 & all x big hugs xxk

waits patiently for confirmation


funintheday2006 replies on 8/6/2006 9:22 pm:
Confirmation?? I ain't going there!!
The bridge though
Only in America

BaronessK 53F

8/5/2006 2:13 am

Brits fuck?

*I* am American AND 'anal retentive'...gets me dates, too!

George Carlin and Sam Kinison...so nah...because we go for quality not quantity!

Dennis Miller said he was in bed with his wife and she started moaning, "Deeper, deeper!"...so he said, "Nietzsche says that man's soul is a well of deep despair.". "Not so fucking deep!," she snaps back!

Mother/egg donor came into the room while my elder Brat and I were watching BBC America on tele, laughing. She looks at us, looks at the tele, looks back at us both and asks, "What am I missing?" I responded, "A sense of humor." She tried to explain with, "I do have a sense of humor; it's just 'dry' like the British." "No, mother, it's dry like the Sahara."

Python, of course, I shall have to give you, along with Fawlty Towers because of Cleese, naturally. I agree about Benny Hill and AYBS, and add Black Adder and Mr. Bean. I have enjoyed Ab Fab, but after a while it does grate. My long term favorites have been, in no particular order, Chef!, Vicar of Dibley, Men Behaving Badly, Coupling {better than Friends, actually -- and it's Anniston's 'fuck me' hairdo IMO that did whatever}, Time After Time, Born to the Manor, Red Dwarf and Doctor Who {especially the Tom Baker years}, and the Office {British version ONLY...our version bit the big one in my opinion}. Not too fond of the one with Bucket character {Keeping Up Appearances ?}, although I did enjoy seeing her in some type of detective type thing. Oh, some of y'all's detective series, most enjoyable, including newer ones such as Jonathan Creek as well as Christie's and Sir Doyle's 'stuff'. Monarch of the Glen...too soap operish for me...except now that Tom Baker is on it!

We have elections every 4 years just for this reason: new material for our comedians. Oh, another one of us statesiders asked me to ask you or another Brit...is Blair and Conda Leeza Rice having a snog and go at it each other...because if we see one we seem to see the other tailing around as of late. Just curious on the British take on it all.


funintheday2006 replies on 8/6/2006 9:28 pm:
Agree with most but abfab is shit, I know one of the actresses in it and she is a piece of shit too!
Havent seen that many, dont do TV much but,Vicar is so so good I have the full set on DVD, plus Fawlty of course.
Blair may not be snogging Ricey but, I recon she needs a good Brit shag to get rid of her self importance, Im up for it

rm_Animal_73 44M
64 posts
8/5/2006 2:51 am

Have to admit, Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engval, Jeff Foxworthy and Ron white have to be some of the funniest and most of all... CLEAN American joke tellers of all time! and yup, they are yanks too!


funintheday2006 replies on 8/6/2006 9:28 pm:
I dont know ant of them, they must be good

phoenix639 50F

8/5/2006 3:04 am

A mighty fine wriggle babes.


funintheday2006 replies on 8/6/2006 9:29 pm:
Phew

MissAnnThrope 57F
11488 posts
8/5/2006 3:20 am

An American, a Polish man and an Englishman are arrested for public drunkenness in Singapore. They're all sentenced to a flogging, but the judge tells them, they can have anything they want on their backs to ease the pain.

The American goes first and asks that a salve be applied to his back. In spite of the salve, when his flogging is over, he's on the ground crying from the pain.

Next it's the Polish man's turn. He says, "I'm strong like bull. I don't need anything on my back." He takes his flogging without even flinching and is still standing after, in no obvious pain.

Finally, it's the Englishman's turn. When asked what he wants on his back he replies, "I want the Polish guy."

Did you hear about the pregnant blonde? She wasn't sure if the baby was hers or not.

A bunch of people are standing at a bus stop. Among them is a woman with a tampon hanging out of her mouth. The longer they're waiting for the bus, the more people stare at her. Some start laughing. She's getting more and more annoyed as this goes on. Finally, she looks at a very meek looking guy who's staring at her and snaps, "What the hell are you looking at?"

He turns bright red, stammers and says, "Well, it's not every day you see someone standing at a bus stop with a tampon hanging out of her mouth."

The woman looks shocked, takes the tampon out of her mouth, stares at it and finally says, "Oh shit! What did I do with my cigarette?"


funintheday2006 replies on 8/6/2006 9:30 pm:
Now THEY are funny The woman at the bustop, American???

rm_pleasuresex3 53M
520 posts
8/5/2006 4:58 am

Well, sorry fun, but I think the Americans have the best stand up comedians.

Let's see,

Richard Pryor - in a sense you don't need anyone else. In my opinion he towers over the rest, he paved the way for the ones who came after. Very funny and very brave (everybody, do yourselves a favour and get his 9cd "...And it's deep too").

Others, Bill Hicks, Chris Rock and Denis Leary. If you can point me to Brits that you think are in the same league, or better, I'll be happy to check them out.

I did like "The Office", A LOT. Does Ricky Gervais do stand up?


funintheday2006 replies on 8/6/2006 9:33 pm:
Pryor is in a league of his own, I agree.
I do prefer Brit standup due to self depreciation style of humour.
Gervais does a fantastic standup, I believe he is doing a US tour this year?
There are so many I like but, would not compare them as like for like is not possible.

rm_iwannatellu 46F
933 posts
8/5/2006 9:36 am

I think I will stay out of this one, although secretly I think...


funintheday2006 replies on 8/6/2006 9:33 pm:

Nina_Dee 62F

8/5/2006 9:44 am

I am not amused by this Brit bashing at all!


funintheday2006 replies on 8/6/2006 9:34 pm:
You tell em Nina, we are a very sensitive race and hate being bashed by our weaker minded colonials

rm_Benkai7 56M
2358 posts
8/5/2006 9:59 am

Dear "funintheday2006".

Two married Fellas, Jim and Alec were having a beer after work. Jim says: "Have you ever said something when you meant to say something else?"
"How do you mean?" said Alec.
"Well, see the other day, instead of two tickets to Pittsburgh, I asked for two pickets to Titsberg"
"Yeah, I know what you mean," said Alec. "Last week I was having breakfast with my wife. I meant to say 'Pass me the Sugar.' But what came out was "You bitch, you've ruined my life!!!"

- What do Americans call a TV set that goes five years without need of repair?

An import.

[from MAD Magazine]

Benkai7

BTW .. good chosen pic ... your shoes look perfect ...


funintheday2006 replies on 8/6/2006 9:34 pm:
That is a classic

IAmRubytuesday 56F
3193 posts
8/5/2006 6:30 pm

What makes dimples appear on my cheeks? Blow jobs - wonderful for the cheekbones! xxx

Q.2 flies in an airing cupboard. Which one's the soldier?
A.The one on the tank.


funintheday2006 replies on 8/6/2006 9:35 pm:
You are bloody obsessed woman, try a Mcdonalds milk shake, same effect

economickrisis 56M

8/6/2006 2:05 am

Id rather have me dick nailed to the wall of a shearin shed than have to watch Little Britain again.


funintheday2006 replies on 8/7/2006 8:57 am:
I cannot believe we agree on something!!!! Seen one episode, seen the fucking lot. Enough

BaronessK 53F

8/7/2006 9:37 am

    Quoting economickrisis:
    Id rather have me dick nailed to the wall of a shearin shed than have to watch Little Britain again.
Oh, is that what your kind of Aussies do when they can't play real sports? In America, we just give Lorena Bobbit their address!


funintheday2006 replies on 8/7/2006 6:50 pm:
I thought it was Loretta?? I've been threatened on here with her myself

BaronessK 53F

8/8/2006 3:36 am

Lorena Bobbit, not Loretta. And as for the last part...no worries, mate...she couldn't find yours anyway!

Some Ron White quotes for you underprived thang you!

"Some friends of mine asked me if I wanted to go to a strip club, and I didn't...want to. 'Cause, back me up on this, fellas -- once you've seen one woman naked...you wanna see the rest of 'em naked. "

"I was sitting on a bean bag chair, naked, eating Cheetos the other day when Robert Tilton came on TV. He's a televangelist out of Dallas. He looked at me and said, 'Are you lonely?' Yeah. 'Have you spent half your life in bars pursuing sins of the flesh?' This guy's good! 'Are you sitting in a bean bag chair naked eating Cheetos?' ... Yeeees, sir! 'Do you have the urge to get up and send me a thousand dollars?' ... Ha, ha, close! I thought he was talking about me there for a second!"

"I believe if life gives you lemons make lemonade...then find someone that life gave vodka to and have a party.'

"There was a guy, down in Florida, who said that the age of 53 years old he was in good enough physical condition to withstand the wind, rain, and hail of a force-5 hurricane. Now, lemme explain somethin' to ya: It isn't *that* the wind is blowin'. It's *what* the wind is blowin'. If you get hit by a *Volvo* or a sign pole in your spleen, it don't matter how many sit-ups you did that mornin'."

"I had the right to remain silent...but I didn't have the ability.


funintheday2006 replies on 8/8/2006 7:34 am:
ROFLMAO

You sure your a yank??

BaronessK 53F

8/9/2006 3:19 am

Me and Ron...we were raised in Texas...and that usually explains it...enough! [/color


funintheday2006 replies on 8/9/2006 4:13 am:
Was that do ron ron??

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