AM I A FUCKING SEX GOD OR WHAT???  

funintheday2006 57M
8366 posts
6/30/2006 9:27 pm

Last Read:
2/10/2007 12:45 am

AM I A FUCKING SEX GOD OR WHAT???

Oh what a night!
Invited to the bar last night with a couple of the lads from work so we ended up, 5 of us, at a very popular bar near my house ( yes it was intentional, I didn’t have to drive!!)
I’ve always got a little peeved when guys oggle girls, make comments and lust from afar.
So, we were having a drink and there was a group of 3 attractive ladies out for the night and a couple of the guys were whewing and drooling so, I said, “ Go and talk to them if your interested.” Jeez, talk about cowards, I just got girly (sorry) giggles from them.
So, after the next glass of Merlot (!!) I decided to help out so went across to said ladies, introduced myself, informed them that I was pissed off with the comments being made about them and felt they should know what the lads were saying!!
So, now I’m sat with the girls and we are having a drink together (yes, course I got em a drink, this is how to piss off the cowards and get a seat for a few mins!)
Got to talking about chat up lines that might work with them and I tried a few and we came up with the following top 5 chat up lines that might just work if you are in the Brighton pubs and clubs…
Imagine the scene, ugly fart of a boss 3 tables away writing and having a good time with the three best looking girls in the bar and you, the 4 ruggedly handsome babe magnets sat on your own with a pint of lager watching him!! Now I’m not sure if weak bladders are endemic in our industry but, the number of times those guys went to the toilet, passing within inches of me (ignored) was unreal!!!

Anyway here are the results:
TOP 5 GOODIES
1. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
2. There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
3. That's a nice TOP. Can I talk you out of it?
4. Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?
5. If I let you suck on my tongue would you be grateful?

Cheesies
1. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
2. You with those curves, and me with no brakes ...
3. Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
4. The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.
5. You're ugly but you intrigue me.

Stupids
1. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the
only one talking to you.
2. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty
is only a light switch away.
3. Well, it's not just going to
suck itself.
4. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
5. Can I borrow your phone? My mum told me to call her when I fell in love.

I know, I know, I’m sick.
Who did I end up in bed with?? The cats…..


JuicyBBW1001 56F

6/30/2006 9:32 pm

some people never learn. Glad you where there to teach them.

Juicy


funintheday2006 replies on 6/30/2006 9:34 pm:
Not sure they learned anything, I went home alone!!

florallei 100F

6/30/2006 10:34 pm

Good night...sweet dreams..


funintheday2006 replies on 6/30/2006 10:38 pm:
Dont let the bed bugs bite

phoenix639 50F

6/30/2006 10:54 pm

Im afraid the top 5 goodies are just as crap hun. Lol.

The best chat up line is...say nothing. Just smile & if she smiles back go over & say Hi.

If she has nothing to say back to you or doesnt start chatting ....would you be interested in a woman with nothing to say!

If she says hi back to you & starts talking bingo.

Chat up lines.....never worked on me & never will.

When ive been out in the past ive often been with male (platonic) friends & end up with an arm full of women for them. Im a good babe magnet for men apparantly.

It doesnt seem to work the other way though, they dont get men for me lol. I dont mind as ive never been 'on the pull' when out anyway.


funintheday2006 replies on 6/30/2006 11:16 pm:
Shit aint they!! Never use them personally anyway, just fun, if I like the look of someone I'll go across and if no interest ( about 99.9999 piss off somewhere else!! Its a northern thing, I think!

rm_SammiSaysTo 45F
872 posts
7/1/2006 12:44 am

I went out tonight and I have to say, if you would have joined me at a table for a drink, no words would have to be exchanged..just the digits as I kicked you out of my bed the next morning!

If you can't laugh, what's the fucking point!


funintheday2006 replies on 7/1/2006 3:57 am:
ooo, that stings
Would you be wearing heels?

RubyRedPetal 46F

7/1/2006 1:59 am

Ouch, cringe, shudder!! LOL

* *


funintheday2006 replies on 7/1/2006 3:57 am:
Oh, these were the best ones, believe me Many were very crude!!

HBowt2 60F

7/1/2006 2:30 am

What.........after falling in love at the first sight of me, damaging your eyes in the process, flirting half the night, donating your tongue for a good sucking you .....just want to talk me out of my top......no wonder it was just the cats......


funintheday2006 replies on 7/1/2006 3:59 am:
I knew I was doing something wrong, tryinmg to talk you out of that top whilst you were sucking my tongue, or was it the garlic??

rm_WackyEPP 54F
8470 posts
7/1/2006 2:47 am

You sound like a fuckin sex god to me. xx

Wacky Jacky


funintheday2006 replies on 7/1/2006 3:59 am:
I am vinndicated!! Thought it wa only me thought that

rm_blkondemand 37M
236 posts
7/1/2006 4:53 am

I've always been successful at letting my eyes do the talking and if she approaches me, I tell her what I really meant to say. If she doesn't approach me, she probably is better off for never hearing it.


funintheday2006 replies on 7/1/2006 8:23 pm:
Thats great (welcome BTW) for good looking blokes with nice eyes... What about the rest of us... We get desperate

Steel_Legs 60M/F

7/2/2006 9:41 pm

This is a great idea for a blog posting...

I start asking questions that will get the lady talking about herself, then just listen, you know - actually pay attention. If a woman will talk with me, we'll both know if there is any interest or chemistry in short order.

Cheers,

Steel_Legs
Steel
Lee

PS - After reading some of your posts, it occurred to me that you might get a kick out of "Women Dig Assholes" posted @ Steel_Legs blog.

Steel_Legs


funintheday2006 replies on 7/2/2006 9:53 pm:
Hi Steel, I will check out that posting, thanks.

Steel_Legs 60M/F

7/2/2006 11:45 pm


guess i got dragged in here too....I'm not a big fan of lines, well not pick up lines anyway, but i do like to mock them from nearby. I myself only used a couple.....one was...hi, i'm sheri...i swallow...
and off we go.....or simply wait till the object of your affliction appears to take issue with someone, anyone....then you politely offer to "fuck them up" you know, as a courtesy....this worked well for me since i am a girl...technically, and it gets them to let down their guard and once they are laughing...they are mine.especially if its an elderly, or frail person....makes you look like you enjoy targeting the weak...always a good choice when on the hunt.

hey lets face it people...its prey or be preyed upon out there......like norm used to say...
its a dog eat dog world out there, and i'm wearing milk bone underwear...

thank you very much, im here all weak.

try the veal and , of course...be sure to tip your waitstaff.....
check please.........i am outta here
Legsallthewayup, sheri, xx chromosome section of Steel_Legs


funintheday2006 replies on 7/3/2006 12:03 am:
Hi sheri, your wierd. Stel, no wonder you've taken to chatting up English guys, sorry I just aint your type hunky chops

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