fulltimewarrior 46M
6 posts
6/4/2006 11:45 am

Haven't re-read my last entry but I'm guessing it was pretentious bollocks so I'm gonna type really fast, not edit myself and press send as quickly as I can (and yes I know I can go back and edit or delete it later, which I'll probably do , but I want to work off some pent up frustration and this is the only route available to me at the mo, since cracking one off no longer gives any great satisfaction).

What's the worst thing about being trapped in a crappy relationship? The guilt of wanting to leave but not being able to, or the thought that even if I did leave I'd just be lonely and miserable and unable to trust anyone ever again? Most of the time I can put myself out there, feel as though I have something to offer and know that I could make some lucky gal (shit, that sounded cheesy) extremely contented both in and out of the bedroom, but once in a while I see the gorgeous, sexy, happy, friendly women out there and get fucking pissed off that I'll never get a chance to make a fresh start. The best I can hope for is a friendship with extras (hopefully) with someone who understands the situation and is up for a bit of fun and being spoilt rotten.

I know, I shouldn't have got involved with someone who I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with, and I should have had the bollocks to end it before it got too involved - I've been over the scenario a million times and in each one I end up feeling like a complete c**t (why is that the only swear word that I edit?). I don't need anyone to tell me that I made my bed & I'll have to lie in it (actually I sleep on the couch most nights - ha ha).

Right now, seeing some of the amazing people on this site is the only thing that puts a smile on my face (not to mention an ache in my groin - ha ha again). I know I haven't had a lot of direct contact with many members, but it's good to know that there are so many top people out there.

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