Sexual Harassment?  

frogger1995 40F
4342 posts
2/1/2006 5:03 pm

Last Read:
9/26/2006 6:48 pm

Sexual Harassment?

I was talking a while back with a brand new co-worker. We were bitching as usual about the administration where we work. You already know a bit about S (read: You Know You Work for the Grinch When ) but you may not be as familiar with M. Side Note: How Ironic is it that I work under and S and an M?(take a moment to put one and one together)

Anywho...she was pointing out to me how M had commented on her choice of attire and mentioned that she may want to rethink it. If you saw this woman and what she wears each day you would be surprised as hell to think that her attire was a problem. If hers is risqué then I come to work with less on than your average centerfold.

Continuing...we both happen to be blessed (cursed?) in the pectoral region...though she is a tad more zaftig than I. M had basically told her that her shirts (which happen to put at least two inches between the collar and any iota of cleavage) were too revealing.

OK...we both pishawed that in our usual vein of "M is such a fucking idiot."

Then I pointed out how M. had mentioned to me not only that 1) a shirt I was wearing was too revealing but 2) I was "jiggling" on purpose3) was just trying to grab the attention of the students and 4) was mistaking the workplace for a nightclub.

My co-worker pointed out that this could potentially constitute sexual harassment. I had never thought so for a number of reasons. 1) She was a woman 2) with the exception of my jiggling "on purpose" and my mistaking the workplace for a nightclub (as if!) she was pretty much right. What can I say? I like to push the limits

All workplaces being what they are...this was eventually common knowledge by the end of the week. Most people were telling me that I should go to HR and report her (admittedly mostly because they hate her as much as I do).

But as much as I would like to see M get a big fat slap on the wrist, I am loathe to condone the current status quo with regard to sexual harassment.

I am as much a feminist as the next woman but there is sexual harassment and then there is SEXUAL HARASSMENT. The first can easily be dealt with personally...the latter requires intervention from higher up. I don't think that a single inappropriate comment is grounds for being citied at work. Just explain that you were offended by the comment...or tell them to go fuck themselves. I personally have done both. And heaven knows I have committed my own set of no-nos (read: Proper Work Etiquette )If it goes beyond that then you move to the next level.

Just my honest opinion here.

Things to be Happy About:

Phone Calls
Taking Charge
Hole Punches in Fun Shapes

F1reman6969 50M

2/1/2006 11:36 pm

way to go gurl!
don't let them get under your skin.
be happy about taking charge, you deserve it.
a long hot bath will ease your crap day away.


f 1 r e m a n 6 9 6 9

8337 posts
2/2/2006 1:03 am

As a man, I've learned that as it pertains to women in the workplace the best policy is to keep everything business.

When dealing with women it's too difficult to overstep bounds, so I avoid the whole issue altogether. If they want to "chat", they can meet me after work.


"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur

luvyourtitties 52M
53 posts
2/2/2006 6:20 am

Harrasment, Rascism, etc..

It seems today everyone is so ready to jump the gun on these events. Part of this is because for years, this type of inapropriate behavior was going on and nothing was being done. The problem is that now we have moved to the opposite end of the spectrum, and if the littlest word is mispoken, its a media frenzy and the activists jump onboard blowing it all up out of proportion. That doesn't mean what was done was out of disrespect or unsensitive, it is usually they just didn't fully think before openning their mouths. I'm sure everyone here is guilty of that one.

I totally agree on your approach to the issue. It "seemed" to be just something said about dressing / acting in an appropriate manner for the business environment, yet it was said in an inappropriate way.

sillyperv 55M

2/2/2006 9:48 am

Hypersensitivity and a "victem culture" is a real problem for too many women. The notion that every slight and inappropriate comment is the "equivilant to " and not just some stupid, ignorant drivel and must be dealt with by tribunals etc, just stops women from learning to stand up for themselves and is an insult to women, or anyone really, who truly suffer abuse.

KMA5 41M
771 posts
2/2/2006 11:38 am

A job doesn't involve what you wear but what your credentials are. If you are smart enough to have that job, people should take into consideration that your skills are good. Infering that your boobs are interfering with others work is harrassment on their part,they should stop staring. I know you'll handle it in your own way but telling M to 'suck your balls' is always an option.

gnr8nrg 47M

2/2/2006 2:58 pm

You two probably motivate the students to want to go to school. It would me.

frogger1995 40F

2/2/2006 8:14 pm

F1reman6969: Of course...taking charge always makes me feel better.

DIVISION77: Yes...just the very thing I was talking about. Also one of the benefits of being a woman

luvyourtitties: Yes the pendulum always swings. Eventually it will center out.

sillyperv: Yes, some women make us all look bad. Granted some of them have valid complaints

KMA5: M is just problematic...she gets ansy about anything.

gnr8nrg: Exactly! The rankings are probably going up by the day

Justplaying082 47M
20 posts
2/3/2006 4:03 am

well as a manager, Sexual Harassment is a very touchy subject
in your case with what was said, this is a case of sh and a case could be made against the one who had made the comments.
in the human right legislation, there are no grey areas in how to define Sexual Harassment
even though you are blessed (you realy are) with an amazing upper area, you still have the rights to be who you are,without comments like that in your space.
your policies would/should state if you have a dress code and if you get comments about "jiggling"
letting M say these things to you or any woman in the workplace and not reporting it makes it acceptable behavior in the workplace, and if you let that happen how much worse you will get treated. how far will they push the envelope in treating and talking to you in this manner. putting a stop to this kind of behavior is very important.
the message you are nowsending out is that they can treat you this way, is this what you want? i think not

well this is just my opinion
and you should be treated alot better than that in your workplace
you look like a goddess and should be treated better than that

rm_Sylent72 45M

2/7/2006 10:49 am

It has been my experience that anything..can be turned into sexual harrassment. Companies will dig up your grandmother to investigate this aligation for the purpose of canning both people...(Safer to get rid of both parties if they can find legal ground!) so there is no potential of legal action which can result in money lost. On another note your honesty is refreshing!!!

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