A Minor Inconvenience  

frogger1995 40F
4342 posts
10/31/2005 7:01 pm

Last Read:
9/26/2006 6:18 pm

A Minor Inconvenience


Good News, Doc says it's a pinched nerve not CT. Bad news, I still need to take it easy on lefty. Still, I HAD to write about this.

This past weekend I decided to order a new vibrator, one that would be less hazardous to my limbs. Frankly, I have noticed that the vibrating machine on my old one is running a little sluggishly. OK, the truth is, I have been preforming a big no-no and masturbating when i know I shouldn't. I tried too hard to turn the vibration up and broke the knob. I guess I’m not the only one damaged by my masturbatory fixation.

My new toy is called the Flicker Vibe and is supposed to focus specifically on the clitoris. That is it on the left. I'm not quite sure how it works (a little help if you do) but it was ranked pretty damn high so there you go. I had the option of waiting 2-3 weeks or spending an extra $3.00 to have it sent expeditiously in 2-3 days. Hmmmmm, what to do?

So I went ahead and splurged on the speedy shipping and was anxiously awaiting my new toy today (or tomorrow at the latest) only to be met with the following message this morning from the customer service reps at A_____ & E______:

Thank you for your order. Because of popular demand, the items you ordered are currently out of stock. As soon as they arrive at our warehouse, we'll send them right to you.

Please accept our sincerest apologies for any inconvenience this delay may have caused you.


Inconvenienced is right! I fall into a deep pit of despair when I think of the throngs of women who were desperately awaiting their clitoral pleasure only to have their agony prolonged by an indeterminate waiting period....oh the humanity!

Actually I thought the letter was rather amusing. I like to picture the customer service reps who try to keep a straight face while sending such letters to A&E customers who are "inconvenienced" by the void in their sex lives that only that one special product can fill. Those poor people for whom life just can't go on as normal, since they were "inconvenienced" by A&E's lack of inventory.

If only they'd been able to watch Return Of The Cheerleader Nurses last night, they wouldn't have crashed their car this morning.

If they had only been able to wear their Triple Thrillers Panties today instead of their usual cotton undies, they may not have completely bombed their interview.

If they had been masturbating with their new Wonder Wand Pocket Rocket then they would have remembered to mail the check for their electric bill...Sigh!

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of orgasms suddenly cried out in pleasure and were suddenly silenced.

Help us A&E. You're our only hope!


P.S. Today was pathetic at school w/ regards to Halloween. But for the above average candy level I wouldn't even know it was that particular holiday.

The one exception was a brave kid who dressed up as Master Shake from Aqua Teen Hunger Force. As I walked passed him he called out "Shake that ass girl," in a very good impersonation of the real Master Shake.


Things to be Happy About:
Cherry Popsicles
Sliding Down Slides
Building a Sandcastle
Painting Your Nails Metallic Blue
Being Happily Surprised at Christmas

rm_abomberz 39M
39 posts
10/31/2005 10:43 pm

yes!! i knew it wasn't carpal tunnel.

I know nothing about vibrators, you'll have to let me know how it works. i think i've heard about one called the lady bug that is supposed to be popular. I read a book once on a manuever called the Venus butterfly, which was really just a fancy way to manually stimulate a girl, and I've been adding my own touches to it for years. so I'm hoping none of these vibrators are good enough to put my years of practice to waste.
goodnight
ps i wouldn't say republican, just definately not democrat. Maybe something will come along one day called the "common sense" platform, and i won't have to root for one of two jerkoffs to win.

and i can't help but notice after your last post citing your attention to grammar and spelling, that the word impersination looks fishy. i should probably look it up before i call you out on it. but i think its wrong. impersonation...?


Mmphmm 46M
592 posts
11/1/2005 1:36 am

Reading your blog really made me smile, thank's... hope it get's to you soon.x


eastend79 39M

11/1/2005 7:48 am

Thats very good to hear! You should be back to regular posting and activities in no time!

And I was always had a soft spot in my heart for Meatwad. Shake was just too mean spirited for my tastes, no matter how hilarious he was Though it would be kinda hard for me to see anyone but a really fat midget to pull of a meatwad costume...


THEREALJOKER1 41M

11/1/2005 9:29 am

HON,IF YOU NEED HELP.....ALRIGHT,ILL BE YOUR 'LOVE TOOL' AT LEAST UNTIL YOU GET BETTER.ITS THE LEAST I COULD DO.YOUR BLOG MADE MY DAY.....I REALLY NEEDED TO SMILE.THX


rm_chowbox2005 44M

11/1/2005 11:57 am

Perhaps a permanant fix for your CT with lefty would be the "Orgasmatron". If you haven't seen it on A&E, its a full blown riding machine (no hands!)
Its so large in fact, that you could use it as an ottoman when not giving yourself mindblowing orgasms! I think that it would make quite a conversation piece at dinner or cocktail parties!

Take it easy on lefty, you don't want to hear your tendon go "twang" when your bangin' your twang!lol

If you were'nt so far away, I'd let you borrow my lefty, its of no use to me. When I try to use my left hand, it's like getting a hand job from someone with epilepsy....

CHOW


JarrodSparrow 34M

11/1/2005 11:58 am

I absolutely loved this post! LOL! The Star Wars quote with a twist was classic!

As to your toy, it seems like an egg with an attachment, my guess is use it like that...it's really too bad they don't usually come with instructions...though that would be amusing to think of in itself. Some marketing guy sitting in a room with a toy in his hand thinking about writing a "How to Use This" piece...or better yet, a woman trying to write it without actually using it on herself before, during, and after the process...

Then again, you really couldn't blame her if she wanted to make sure it worked...

Thanx for the great post, if I wasn't already lying on the carpet typing this I probably would have fallen over laughing.

Jarrod


troymcp 47M
1 post
11/1/2005 12:24 pm

When you get your new vibe in let me know i will show you what that little flicker is at the tip. Hint it will drive u craxy it you have a senstive clit..troymcp


rm_bella_ 48F
4030 posts
11/1/2005 12:56 pm

Now that is funny! Back ordered items are a bitch! Waiting lists are a bitch! I really like the color though! Well worth the wait.


Rockhard2x6 55M

11/1/2005 1:09 pm

You could save on your electric bill and postage if you used my tongue as your vibrator. Lasts longer than the batteries do and has infinite pleasure settings from slow and teasing to "eat me like a tiger". Unit comes with addition pleasure devices attached.


drnick20054 29M

11/1/2005 2:11 pm

u need to stop masterbating and having some sex. preferably with me


krajerinond 53M

11/1/2005 3:03 pm

Frogger,

While I empathize with your dilema, I MUST let you know I believe you are making a grevious error in product judgement.

I have purchased a Flicker vibe for a girlfriend, and it was, in essence, LOUSY! While the tail did flick back and forth, it too only the slightest pressure to stop the flicking motion alltogether. If you are looking for an egg vibe, I am sure there are less-expensive ones out there. However, for pure vibe stimulation, I HIGHLY recommend the Fukuoku 9000 finger vibe. I have used this for a few years now, it it NEVER fails to provide my partner with mind-numbing orgasms! (BTW, For those in the known, the Japanese make the absolute best sex toys!)

I know, I know....I'm soundling like a infomercial pitchman. But trust me...get a Fukuoku and you'll never go back to those boring bullet vibes again!

Good luck with the hand...

Ric


rm_Balanon2 50M
193 posts
11/1/2005 7:25 pm

The Evil Bal is now thinking of ways to sabotage A&E shipping system in order to increase demand for the old fashioned models...aka Guys OK, I love playing with the toys on you girls, but I suspect it would be easier for us single men to get some company if the battery powered substitutes were not so readily available I'm tired of sleeping alone and "the dark side is STRONG"

Anybody ever hear the song, "She's Vibrator Dependant" by Mojo Nixon? Hilarious. "No honey, you can't plug my toes into the wall!"


jim5131 56M
1296 posts
11/1/2005 11:27 pm

...and you can't get one at a local sex shop? Too shy? (hey...I didn't say I'd do it..I bought an inflatible doll at a shop for a co-worker's going-away party once..so long as it's not for me)

..there's always the washing machine on 'spin' cycle..

funny post, Frogger...as usual


MillsShipsGayly 52M

11/2/2005 8:18 am

.. the remote controlled butterfly vibrator


TalonDuddyTonks 48M
659 posts
11/2/2005 8:14 pm

Glad to hear it isn't carpel tunnel... too bad on the back order... overall great post... very entertaining.. u had me laughing out loud... thanks for the star wars reference!!


frogger1995 40F

11/3/2005 2:57 am

Balanon2: Hmmm, this does smack of some sort of conspiracy. I shall have to use the force to investigate.

jim5131: This is Texas! In LA I could walk down any street and find one. Here...if you know of one let me know.

Michael_IG65: Keep the suggestions coming guys!

NameIsRace: Thank god agreed! Happy to oblige.


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