Mothers are so silly...but GOD love them!  

freetime648 53F
7629 posts
8/11/2006 7:47 am

Last Read:
8/14/2006 12:14 am

Mothers are so silly...but GOD love them!

I have been sitting on the thoughts of this for a couple days. Why should I shy away from saying anything about it? Not that I am shy by any stretch of the imagination, but, I think I just waited to allow the brunt of what it means to me to sink in!

My mother is a very sick camper. The doctors have said she could go today, tomorrow, next year! No one can say for sure. But, she cannot breath without the help of an oxygen tank, she has ostioperosis, emphysema, spots on her lungs, and if she is lucky she weighs in at a whopping 85 pounds! She worked VERY hard all her life to raise 5 kids predominantly on her own. She would work holidays and overtime anytime it was offered. She has managed to buy her first home at the age of 62, with cash....and she is very well off, which she deserves more than anyone I know!

I love and adore my mother....she has a fiestiness and drive to her I can only wish I possess at her age. No matter how far down that woman gets.....she dusts herself off, says fuck-it and drives on!

What my dilemma is just this....all my life I have been the one child to never ask for anything. I am independent as hell, even if I have to live off Ramen noodles for weeks at a time! My mother has instilled the power of self preservation into me very well.

She offered to send me money the other day and when I said that I did not need her to, that I did not ask her to, she more or less told me to put into my bank account for a time when I could use it. She said that of all her children, I deserve it the most.

What can I say to that? I do not want her money....I want her strength and support....

What would you say to this kind of offer???

xx FREETIME648 xx

GB_Cple 67M/56F  
3113 posts
8/11/2006 11:51 pm

fully agrees with Q

funintheday2006 57M
9659 posts
8/11/2006 11:02 pm

I dont know what Id say babe, really. She sounds a bit like my mum. Even if I needed it I would be torn between the need and not wanting to show my mum I could not cope on my own.
I know exactly where you're coming from and have no advice, sorry.
I do think you will make the right decision though.

TheQuietGuy2005 55M
2386 posts
8/11/2006 1:25 pm

Say "thank you" ... if you don't need it yourself, put it away for the day that it might be useful for your daughter or the Pootster.

She wants to do this for you, she wants to be able to take care of you, she wants to give you all the chances she never had herself - let her have the satisfaction that, after all those years of struggling, she can do this small thing.

rm_aboutme66 52F
6047 posts
8/11/2006 8:59 am

speaking as a mother who has done the very same to my child I can tell you this.
We offer it out of love. We want you to be happy and anything we can do it help you makes us feel good, like we are doing our jobs as parents. As a child you will always have our love and support. ALWAYS. But sometimes it is the little things we can do for you that is making difference for both ourselves and you and bring us the greatest amount of joy.
Please take the gift in the spirit she intended it to be. It was not intended to make you unhappy in the least. It just might be her way of saying she has always know how strong and independent you are. It might be her way of making sure you can continue to be that way in the future.

Someday is today.

TnWitchyWoman 57F
6852 posts
8/11/2006 8:44 am

Take it with grace and do as you are told. She's your mother. She is in her right mind to know what she does, and does not, want done with her money. She knows who is deserving and she'd rather see you with it now than worry about what will become of it, and you, when she's gone.


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