A small twist on the usual........  

freetime648 53F
7629 posts
5/29/2006 12:52 pm

Last Read:
6/5/2006 12:25 am

A small twist on the usual........

(instead of the "MY SONG OF THE DAY" )

I do not understand when you make friends with someone of the opposite sex and when they get a girlfriend, you suddenly do not matter because that person is jealous of your relationship with "HER" man!

First off, "BIATCH" he was a friend with me prior to you sinking your claws into him....and second of all...I would have never guessed in a million years that he would be such a coward as to not stand up for his friendship. Was it that easy to throw away? This is something that has happened on a couple occassions with me and I do not get it? Is it petty jealousy? Or is it severe insecurity on the new girlfriends part?

I have lost way too many friends to this and it really PISSES MY ASS OFF ! Friends come and go and true friends never leave you no matter how far apart you are from them. They are always there.....I do not let alot of people in, but once they are there...they do not leave for any reason of my doing. They choose to go...but when a "so-called" friend discards me only for the reason of his new girlfriend...than I call that cowardness and NOT a true friend at all....

Sorry.....Rant over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xx FREETIME648 xx

racingcrazy67 50M

5/30/2006 9:59 am

Good post this.

I'm afraid to say that I have been guilty of this in the past. When I met my ex that relationship was all absorbing and I let myself do it too. I didn't so much ignore people that were important to me, more like erased them. I was stupid and it is certainly not something that I will ever do again.

Real friends are rare and need to be cherished which is what I do now and will never fail to do in the future either, new girlfriend or otherwise.

_Adriane_ 48M

5/30/2006 7:07 am

I agree 100% Free!

I have been on the other side of the fence in such a situation, and yes, it sucks! Why some of us men do that, I can't explain. But I made a promise to myself never to let a relationship stand in the way of my friendship again. I still live that today!

nymph542 40M

5/30/2006 6:26 am

It seems to me that the fact that humans are territorial by nature has allot to do with this issue. Both men and women are guilty of this type of behavior. Some of us are just a little less guilty than others. When a new relationship starts the couple is in a state of blissful ignorance and do they think of the long term ramifications of their short term actions? I think not... There are several ways to subvert such an issue as being "friend dumped".

First - When your friend finds a new partner don't jump right in and try to be best friends with them. Allow them to spend some time together and get all of the feelings of "I gotta do this right or I will lose them" out of their systems. Step in as a friend later. Oh, if you meet the new partner for the first time try not to throw allot of shared experiences in their face. This promotes animosity and will only lead to bitter feelings later.

Second - Dress down for them. This means that while you know that you are a better person than they are you don't have to push that fact on them.

Third - Bide your time. The relationship with the new partner may or may not last. Friendship, when it is not strained, will last for many years. If you show support when you least want to you will be recognized for it later on. This is probably the hardest thing to do but it will keep you out of trouble and keep your friendship strong.

It may be my opinion only but I strongly believe in these steps to success.
If you follow these steps the new partner will ultimately see you as a friend rather than a threat to the relationship.

GB_Cple 67M/56F  
3113 posts
5/29/2006 10:47 pm

happens all the time, with women and their new boyfriends too.

I have even seen the Greeneyed God of jealousy, between online friends, that have NEVER met, when they find another new on-line friend ,
strange world.

campfirecozy 68M

5/29/2006 12:57 pm

It doesn't seem fair. It happens all the time. Men getting it regularly from a new girl friends think less with their brains. The girlfriend often sees long-standing female friends as 'threats'. It sucks. Rant on!

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