Feelings or Character?  

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11 posts
8/27/2006 5:31 pm

Last Read:
10/14/2006 12:57 am

Feelings or Character?

I suspect the real bottom-line reason behind the endless cycle of marriage and divorce is people choosing a mate on feelings rather than character.

Far and away the leading cause-of-action cited in divorce petitions is "incompatibility."

How can it be that two people who thought they were compatible enough to marry later decide they are not compatible to the extent that they can no longer live together?

Here is the answer: They married based on feelings... that change almost with the weather.

Feelings have their place. Feelings are the colors of a relationship, but charcter is the image on the canvas that defines the relationship.

Two people who have similar images on their respective canvases are more likely to be compatible, but two people who have different images on their canvasses are not likely to be compatible, even if the colors are similar.

Far to often people look only at the colors without looking at the image itself. A woman will say "Oh, we are both red color scheme" without noticing that her image is a hen and his image is a fox.

Feelings have their place in a relationship, but are not a reliable foundation for the relationship. Feelings are like shifting sand, and not good as a foundation on which to construct a building.

Feelings are a necessary part of great sex, but character determines whether or not you want to have sex.

Relationships begin to fall apart when differences in character begin to overshadow similar feelings. How often have you heard someone say "we felt so good together until I realized that he/she is (whatever)."

The key words there are "we felt" (feelings) and "he/she is" (character).

I wonder how often divorce judges hear that.

Want better success in your next relationship?

Look past the feelings, and find out what kind of person they are. That takes time

It is sometimes difficult to look past feelings, and look at character. It takes some discipline.

If you just want a fuck buddy, and won't be spending much time with them, character is not important.

If you want a relationship beyond sex, and want it to last, similar character is a must.

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