love  

frbnkslady 49F
3442 posts
9/25/2005 4:49 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

love

I would like to know how many of you have ever loved a person enough to totally walk away from them?? No phone calls, no letters and no stalking. EVER. Are you strong enough to just let them go if they ask it of you?? Are you sure enough of your love to walk away if you know they will never ever feel the same way about you??? Have you ever asked anyone to walk away from you??? Knowing how they feel about you???
Do you feel that it is better to have loved like this, or been loved like this then to have never felt it at all??? Do you gather the memories of times spent together to hold you for the rest of your life?? Do you think it would hold you back from ever loving another 'totally' again?? Do you believe in being able to love more then one person at a time? I know there are different kinds of love, but a man/woman love. Complete partner love. Your other half.


T





frbnkslady 49F
6183 posts
10/2/2005 10:30 pm

I know, it hurts huh??? But it also gives that person a chance to find some who can love them back the way they deserve and need. T

T




frbnkslady 49F
6183 posts
9/30/2005 9:18 pm

This is what I was aiming for, one kind of it anyways...To be strong enough for the both of you to ask someone to leave, for their own good, and yours.. to be able to survive that and go on with your life. That you remain friends is great and speaks well of you as a man. I would truely love to be friends with a few in my past, but 2 have made it virtually impossible to. I beleive you can never have too many friends.
Thank you for stopping by.. T

T




kyplowboy2 62M

9/29/2005 10:59 pm

My last relationship ended by me asking her to leave for her own benefit. The life we had here was killing her both phyically and emotionally. Farming is not a job, it is a way of life; much like I expect the case to be in Alaska. If you're not cut out for it, you will be miserable. She suffered from some form of depression and the day to day stresses we endured caused her to become severly physically ill (lost about 40lbs inexplicably). The physical aspect of farming didn't play a part as she didn't do much of that, the problem was emotional. She just couldn't stand the isolation. We never really fought or anything and basically got along well with each other, we were both just so unhappy all the time. When I saw what it was doing to her I made the decision that I knew she never would, and asked her to go. I still loved her, but I couldn't allow her to destroy herself for me. It broke both of our hearts, but we finally agreed that it was, in fact, the best thing for both of us. And she left. We still talk on the odd occation and as far as I know are still friends. I would help her any way I could if she asked, and she knows this. We have both moved on now and are both better off for it.

kpb2


frbnkslady 49F
6183 posts
9/28/2005 8:56 am

You are very welcome. It took me a long time to decide on whether to post them or not. A few have taken it the wrong way, and now think I am a cold bitch... They were just questions. But I guess I am a person who would rather NOT feed a passion if it is just one sided.

T




watchmesquirm 47F  
99 posts
9/27/2005 7:26 pm

Wow- this really has me thinking... thanks for the thought provoking post.


frbnkslady 49F
6183 posts
9/25/2005 10:20 pm

WOW, nice responses... didn't expect anything like these. Pleasantly surprised.
TT, you sound so like me... I can truthfully say I have been 'in' with only 2 men. The 1st one, I walked away from, across country infact. I waited for him for 14 yrs. He loves me, this I believe, but he was never 'in' love with me. He will always hold a special place. He used to call me here all the time and I finally had to ask him to stop. I begann to dispise his phone calls for they made me feel really guilty about my move, but for my sanity and growth I had to move on.
The 2nd, well... he is here. He has never asked anything of me... My love was just like 'BAM' it was there.. And I do love him enough to walk away if he asks it of me. He does not love me and I know this...does not mean I cannot hope for in the future right?? But I will not let it weigh me down. I treasure his friendship.

MnFun, I din't mean for it to sound cold, but sometimes that is what it takes. I had to tell a man to leave me. I was not right for him, and I knew it. I am not a women who will keep man with me when I KNOW I will NEVER feel for him what he does for me. Why make him miserable in the long run. There is a woman out there for him who will and can... why??? If I cannot make him happy, if both cannot be happy... I would much rather have him as a friend, but if he cannot accept that, then a total break is what is needed. As I would have done for me. I am friends with a few of my exs...some on just speaking terms. But I am very happy for them in the happiness they now have in their lifes, even if it ended up not being with me.


TnT, I am very glad you both made it. I know what a long hard road you have both traveled.. Lots of hairpin turns and switchbacks.. but well worth the ride huh?? T

T




rm_titsandtires 52M/42F
3656 posts
9/25/2005 8:09 pm

how many of you have ever loved a person enough to totally walk away from them? I loved someone that i knew i would have to walk away from eventually. but i knew i would have to at some point for a long time before it happened. we had a great thing, but i knew it would never last.

Are you strong enough to just let them go if they ask it of you? don't know if i could do that. that one sounds like it would test a part of me that would ask "why" too many times.

Have you ever asked anyone to walk away from you??? Knowing how they feel about you? i tried. i ended up taking her back and married her. our anniversary is next month, and we are best friends. but we went through alot of emotional crap before we realized that we felt the way we did about each other, mostly because we aeren't 100% honest with each other about our expectations from the very beginning. once we laid it all out for each other and talked it out without the sugar coating we were able to rebuild a solid foundation. BTW our relationship now is stronger than any i've ever had before, but i don't recomend getting from point A to point B the way we did. there is an easier way. its called the truth. and a lot of communication.

Do you feel that it is better to have loved like this, or been loved like this then to have never felt it at all??? I think that if one really tries to, they can learn something about themselves from all previous relationships. the more you can learn without getting hurt, the better.

Do you gather the memories of times spent together to hold you for the rest of your life?? i do enjoy the memories, but i try not to live in the past. does that make sense?

Do you think it would hold you back from ever loving another 'totally' again?? I believe an individual holds themself back from getting in too deep. the prior experience alone does not.

Do you believe in being able to love more then one person at a time? I once heard someone say that they didn't believe in love at first sight, but they did believe in falling in love with the idea of being in a committed relationship upon meeting someone. with that being said, I think that one can have feelings for multiple people that all give that individual different feelings which can be easily mistaken for love. the feelings are real, the intentions are all good, but the commitment to be true to oneself and determine what is love and what is something else can sometimes be confusing. especially for men. because we have a penis.

tires.

take care of you T. glad to see you posting again.


mnfun952 103M

9/25/2005 7:58 pm

Asking someone to walk away and not look back... that seems kind of cold to me... in all (and I do mean AL of my relationships, I've always been able to keep a friendship...even when things (for any number of reasons) didn't work out. I still (in fact) talk to old girlfriends (not often, in many cases) ...just to see how they are doing... catch up from time to time - sharing in the happiness and successes of our lives. Personally... I wouldn't have it any other way.

I've never been asked to go away and never contact someone again.... and I don't think I could ever do that to someone else. I guess I'm lucky like that....

Just my take.

MnFun


tamethytension 55M
2320 posts
9/25/2005 6:03 pm

how many of you have ever loved a person enough to totally walk away from them??

Mrs H was 39, I was 24. I asked her to marry me. She said yes. I did so when she was still married in an abusive relationship from which she was trying to extricate herself. I was to leave overseas for almost a year. She was distraught. I loved her dearly, and do so 20 years later. I knew I was not the man for her. She needed stability, a home that I could not give her. When I departed I knew we would never be together again. A year later she was engaged and subsequently married a quiet, caring man that was to give her another child and a safe home. She was the first woman I ever loved.

Are you strong enough to just let them go if they ask it of you?

I had been living with, and madly in love with Ms C for 2 years when our two alpha personalities simply began clashing all to often for either of us to bear. She expressed her doubt that we were intended to remain together forever. We ceased being lovers. I lived with her for three years until my financial situation permitted me to move to my own place. We became very close friends and she remains my closest confidant to this day, and I love her still.

Have you ever asked anyone to walk away from you??? Knowing how they feel about you???

YES and YES. Ms N was very much in love with me when I had only thought us as friends. When she finally admitted the depth of her feelings, I indicated we could not continue as lovers as I did not feel that way. That was 14 years ago. We remain good friends to this day.

Do you feel that it is better to have loved like this, or been loved like this then to have never felt it at all???

Absolutely.

Do you gather the memories of times spent together to hold you for the rest of your life??

Each and everyone is as vivid as yesterday. And I relive them through the erotic tales I weave that relate my time with each.

Do you think it would hold you back from ever loving another 'totally' again??

Absolutely NOT. And has not.

Do you believe in being able to love more then one person at a time?

Ask me that 4 years ago and I would have emphatically said no. Now ... in one capacity or another I have come to love deeply 6 women. All my past loves morphed into even stronger friendships. I care for them all. Were they in need, I would be at their side tomorrow, with a helping hand. Is it possible to love deeply more than one simultaneously? I have to say it is possible, although I have not as yet experienced this.

TTT
PS> excellent thought provoking questions.


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