frbnkslady 49F
3442 posts
3/29/2006 11:23 am

A guy walks in to a grocery store and notices a
beautiful blonde wave at him
and say hello. He's rather taken aback because he
can't place where he
knows her from. He says, "Do you know me?", to which
she replies,"Yes,
you're the father of one of my kids."The guy instantly
flashes back to the only time he was ever unfaithful
to his wife and says, "My god, are you that stripper
from my bachelor
party that I screwed on the pool table with all my
buddies watching while your
partner whipped my butt with wet celery and then stuck
a carrot up my azz?!"
The woman said, "Uh... noooooo. I'm your son's math teacher."

The wife from Hell.......

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The

officer says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour,

sir." The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on

cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun

needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife

says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that

this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the

driver looks over at his wife and growls,

"Can't you please keep your mouth shut

for once?" The wife smiles demurely and

says, "You should be thankful your radar

detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for

the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers

at his wife and says through clenched teeth,

"Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that

you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an

automatic $75 fine." The driver says, "Yeah, well,

you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when

you pulled me over so that I could get my license

out of my back pocket." The wife says, "Now,

dear, you know very well that you didn't have your

seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when

you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third

ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY


looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your

husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

I love this part....

"Only when he's been drinking."




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