Grog - depressing  

fluffychic78 39M/39F
82 posts
4/25/2006 9:56 am
Grog - depressing

Today I am so tired. Last night was fun...but today it is back to reality. The relity of having 2 kids of my own and suddenly babysitting a 3 month old child of my husband's coworker. PLUS tomorrow we are euthanising one of our dogs that we have had for over 15 years.

I work in an animal emergency clinic, so death is not new, or strange, or an untapped reserve of emotions for me. I deal with death all the time. But it is one of my own. She found us 15 1/2 years ago, and refused to leave. She protected us from intruders and squirrels, and she has been the perfect dog. Loyal, true, and not requireing any sort of special attention (though we lavished it on her sometimes).

She is now old and suffering. She has been in constant pain for years, but she is just recently succumbing to old age since pain meds had been helping her out for a long time. She does not live with me, but I know i will feel kind of empty when she goes. My mom was the one who had to make the decision to let her go. She did not want to, and she asked me 6 months ago to let her know when it was time to make that decision. I told her 2 nights ago that it was time. I read all her signals and decided, as a professional, that it was time. But she did not want to hear it and asked for additional resources to make her own decision. I sent her an email chock full of websites. Last night she told me that she knew it was time to let go. It is a relief, but also a deep hurt. I was the one who convinced her, even though the decision was all hers. But I do know it is the right decision. I just hope I can keep it together tomorrow night at work when we give the injection....
Sorry to be so down, but this is what is on my mind...

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