I'm in a clique. Really?  

flagg134 37M
1430 posts
4/18/2006 7:30 pm

Last Read:
4/29/2014 10:35 am

I'm in a clique. Really?

Recently I was trolling through some BLOGS and I found out I was in a clique because I defended someone in their BLOG. Here I thought I had friends last I checked thats what they do look out for each other. When someone places an unprovoked attack on any person I react in kind. I stand my ground on my opinions regardless of what others think of them.

I don't believe in cliques as they are usually cutthroat teenager groups. That build themselves by placing innocent people into the role of an outcast. Ridiculing them unjustly to build upon their self esteem and standing their standing in the pecking order. They generally are defined by having a leader. Personally I answer to no one but myself at the end of the day. I define myself as neither a leader or a follower just an individual. The only person I feel a need to answer to is myself.

The encyclopedic entry for A clique ('klik) is an informal and restricted social group formed by a number of people who share common interests - formal social groups are referred to as societies or organizations. Cliques are most notably found amongst groups of teenagers, primarily in high schools and colleges, often thought more prominent amongst females, but also in other similar environments not to mention politics.

Cliques at times have complex structures, and characteristics tend to differ between one another. However, one characteristic which is common to all cliques is the existence of a defined power structure, generally comprised of a leader (or a few leaders), followers (refer to the article on leadership) and pariahs. Thus, it is inaccurate to describe all social groups of teenagers as cliques, as often said groups do not have any particular power structure.

So do I belong to a clique?


curvymeli 40F

4/18/2006 11:14 pm

Yes you do!!

I totally disagree that cliques are primarily found among teenagers; any workplace has them, any anything in which a collection of regulars come together has them!

What we are seeing here on AdultFriendFinder is definitely the more high school aspects of the clique, though; the name-calling and ostracisation (hm, is that a proper word? lol) of people, the whining of those who feel they are being ridiculed by the clique (a group which they actually want to be a part of and feel inferior to).

My theory as to why it seems like people revert to their high school behaviors on AdultFriendFinder is the whole supposed 'anonymity' of the site. Here we are, supposedly on equal footing with other members, and yet many of us are still not the most popular or sought after. We have been taken out of the awkward horrors of adolescence and the pressures of fitting in based on the arbitrary decisions of more beautiful, richer, top-shelf peers, and yet we find ourselves still judged, still hoping to fit in, still wanting to appear likeable and enviable, and STILL falling short!

I think the difference is that in high school the people at the top get there and then make an effort to push everyone else down below them, but here on AdultFriendFinder the ones that so deperately want to be part of the 'upper echelon' force themselves out by obsessing over their own self-importance and it's lack of perception by others.

Does that make sense? Cuz it really does in my head!! lol

In short I don't think people like Krissy are wrong for stating their opinions, despite the fact that she might be calling people out or offending anyone or anything like that, but someone like Cousin_it IS mistaken bc they put themselves at the bottom of the barrel and claim that they have been excluded. Seriously, get over it, you know? We are all adults!! Who the fuck CARES what someone says on AdultFriendFinder about you or your opinions?

themisskrissy 58F
2302 posts
4/18/2006 11:31 pm

so don't think of your place in here as clique.....think upper echelon!! LMAO

one could suppose that the person that said those things to you is jealous of the relationships formed by some members... much like how they may have resented the "in crowd" elsewhere in their lives..

i know i don't put myself and my relationships above anyone else.. i am not here to look down on other people.. nor should we ever have to apologize for having formed the friendships that we have.. we are like minded, but rag tag folk that have found common ground..

there is vast and varying degrees of education, social standing, lifestyles and other traits that are not common among cliques...

we can never please everyone...... so we just need to be ourselves.. and stay true to that.....

and in the words of my late bro...."eff them if they can't take a joke"

Virtue Alone Ennobles

phoenix639 50F

4/19/2006 7:25 am

Flagg, i really am beyond caring what silly small minded people think to be totally honest.

If they wish to call a group of online friends a clique so be it. Lets face it we have all been called worse by far better people.

I find it amusing that someone refers to others as sheep like (one of my phrases stolen i think lol) when this person is the biggest sheep coloured yellow.

A man of somewhat intelligence lowers himself to schoolboy bullying because no-one stood by him when his true colours came out. Now i dont know the history of our silly friend as i havnt been in these parts long enough but i have read his replies, questions & his original blog which still shows up. I have seen a pattern emerging which mimics backinblack & BRG.

I find it also amusing that i as a mere AdultFriendFinder ADline virgin got a telling off from krissy, sultry, tbone & solar at various stages yet i consider all these people now to be my friends.

So if a certain ignoramous wishes to call a group of freinds who happen to think alike on some topics a clique so be it. He obviously doesnt see the times when we have disagreed with one another...or perhaps like all other hypocrites he choses to ignore those.

I shant lose sleep...(unless i get a phone call at 2.15am again lol).

nightstalker172 38M
1258 posts
4/19/2006 12:22 pm

Cliques are everywhere not just highschool...Ive seen the same anticts in many other places as well....One things that common though is the people at the top of the pecking order so to speak are the most weak and insecure people in the world. Their world would crumble if they didnt have that popularity. And typically when they try to involve me in the heirarchy I typically give them a dose of reallity and put them in THEIR place.

P.S. cool pick I like it

flagg134 37M
1582 posts
4/19/2006 1:36 pm

I don't think of my place here as being in a clique that was the point of the post. I thought that assumption hilarious actually as how can you see a group with so much variance as far as style and location and personalities to be as such. With no particular leader or structure just a bunch of friends who enjoy each others blogs and banter on the adlines.

To further prove the point this is in no way an exclusive group I am always looking for more people to talk to and hear varying opinions on things. Only when a person steps out of line to another member of AdultFriendFinder or places an attack on society. Do I exclude them from speaking with me.

It is rather funny how someone who used to be somewhat popular is the one making all the accusations. His fall from grace is his fault and his alone. If only he knew all we can do is read his words and laugh. He seems right obsessed with a few of us posting everywhere to bring a some members down.


flagg134 37M
1582 posts
4/19/2006 3:59 pm

    Quoting rm_Sheeana:
    Well, you've been accepted as part of the in-group here. You can't really deny that, can you?
No I can't deny that I have been accepted into a group maybe the in-group of the adlines. I just never see myself as part of a crowd its not me. I'm actually an antisocial person to a degree very quiet in life outside of my friends.


themisskrissy 58F
2302 posts
4/19/2006 4:40 pm

soooooooooo this would be the anti-social clique then........ i am anti social tooooo!!!!!!!!!!! lmao!!

the "in" group... what a concept... as of today we are said to be sheep as well! i find that rather amusing.. i abhor sheep mentalities.... long before i ever meandered into the site.

funny stuff coming from a moron that never learned the basics of playing with others...

Virtue Alone Ennobles

Rudy1166 51M
136 posts
4/19/2006 8:22 pm

Welcome to the microcosm of the real world. Cliques are a part
of human existence. It doesn't stop until you're dead. Check out the cliques in nursing homes. The top of those cliques get dibs on the closest seats to communal TV.

flagg134 37M
1582 posts
4/19/2006 9:26 pm

Themisskrissy I wouldn't worry what the sheep has to Bleat I mean say. He came out here to stir shit he didn't get the reaction he wanted at all. He wanted an uproar all he got was some chuckles from the regulars and a bashing by everyone else.

Yes Sheeana its extremely common for people in similar situations to gather together. The person who posted us being a clique was at one point respected for his opinionated manner and humor. I really don't think he feels the need to be accepted maybe he wants to be heard is all. As he has placed public attacks on people in this thread in the adlines and in his blog.

AdultFriendFinder I would just want the biggest food portions and hottest nurses they can keep the TV all to themselves.


themisskrissy 58F
2302 posts
4/19/2006 9:53 pm

the only "clique" i was ever associated with in high school was the drama freaks.. outside of that i was a doper/loner that hung with older and/or not is school types..

somehow, later in life while undergoing some intense group therapy i became a "leader" and an "authority" among the rest...(how the fuck did that happen????) i go from minding my own nervous breakdown to the head of the class... and pretty much stayed there throughout my after life too...

society is geared to "cliques"... from the earliest days i would imagine.. groups huddled together working to survive...to the aristocracy looking to guard their way of life..
whether we like it or not we as humans tend to get lumped and labeled ...

and forever there will be those that are on the outside looking in... and some prefer that, but many are disgruntled because they do not "make the grade" ... it is not society's fault... but god help those that form friendships here, they are the cliques.......sigh

Virtue Alone Ennobles

flagg134 37M
1582 posts
4/20/2006 2:39 pm

To true mzhuny I am glad to have them.

Myhoneysrooster 69M
882 posts
4/20/2006 4:51 pm

Well don't put me in the sheep dip just yet. I don't think I ever was a little lamb.
If I get this corrwct, those of us who have made friendships and dispense both advice and ass chewings are a clicque.
First time I was ever accused of being in one of those. If it means having the friends I have and corresponding with the fine folks that I do, then pass me my "Bloggerland Clicque" jacket and let get to writing.
Guess he don't like the deputies. LOL

Oh well we can always click him off. Would be more fun to set him straight though.

flagg134 37M
1582 posts
4/21/2006 4:13 pm

The miss your right its just a jealous attack its sad considering he used to be somewhat respected. I guess some forsee because we attack them its coordinated which it isn't. I guess its just impossible that a few people think alike.

Rooster anyone who agrees with another makes them automatically a clique apparently. Oh well it would be nice to set him straight though he seems stuck on having it out his own way.

LS Believe me I'm happy to be a part of the group just don't like the terminology clique. I am an antisocial its not just an assessment by me but of others. I prefer the company of good friends as opposed to being part of a crowd or at a party where I don't know anyone.

I'd be proud to be in a group with anyone here and honored to be accepted by you all. Its to bad the AL is in shambles but it has lead to more writing and conversations on the BLOGs.


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