Confessions of a BURNOUT  

five_speed 42M
3250 posts
8/10/2005 7:45 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Confessions of a BURNOUT

As I mentioned earlier, these blogs make me think. I often post a comment on one blog that gets me to thinking so much that I end up expanding on my original thoughts in a blog entry of my own.

Tonight txrose4uNTX has me thinking about how much I hate my job. “Poor baby,” you say, “It’s WORK you numbskull. You’re supposed to hate it!”

If you said that, then you sound just like my father, and I disagree with you both. I don’t think work is going to be fun everyday, because there will be days you really don’t feel like doing your job, no matter what it is, but you have to anyway. Even so, I think it is possible and desirable to have a job where most days are tolerable and you actually enjoy work more often than you hate it.

In real life, I teach college data networking courses over the internet from my home. I also do freelance consulting and equipment installation/configuration when ever the work presents itself. I’d have to be in R&D to be any closer to the bleeding razor edge of the technology curve, and I’m pretty much burned out. These days I’m so busy teaching what I already know that I have no time to learn the things I want to learn.

Working in any technology field is like paddling against the current in a canoe on a fast river. Even if you want to just stay in one spot, you have to paddle your ass off.

I have another job lined up… the dream job I used to sit back and envision when I first started school to learn about data networking ‒ great pay, great benefits, great on-the-job-training, access to state of the art equipment, and world wide travel six months out of the year. The problem is that I have to do something to make ends meet until the required clearances are established, a process that could take up to 18 months. Assuming the clearances are granted, I’ll be set. I’ll be able to write my own ticket. I’m worried that I’ll be so burned out by the time I get there that I won’t give a damn.

If I had my way, I’d write books. I have three books in the works right now, but surviving keeps getting in the way of living, and I’m not working on them as much as I would like. If I can just get one book finished and get it published, then maybe I can start making the transition. It is part of a dream. If I could make money with my writing, I’d buy a 35 foot schooner, find some old sea dog to teach me to sail it. I’d write my books and watch the sun set on the Caribbean every night as I hopped from island to island, and head north up the east coast to dodge hurricane season.

I’m beginning to think it’s all a bunch of bullshit. Sheryl Crow sings a song where she says “It's not having what you want; It's wanting what you've got.” I think about that a lot these days. My folks have a cabin on a lake in South Carolina where I could stay for pennies. I’m beginning to wonder if I’d be better off if I said to hell with this “career” I’ve been trying to build. I could go down there and find a job working with my hands and my back during the day, and I could write in the evenings. I’ve even done the math. I only need to net 15 grand a year to cover my expenses, and that’s if I keep my car. If I dump the car, I only need to bring home 10 grand a year.

It might sound crazy, but I’m really beginning to wonder if I’d be happier doing simple work for 10-12 grand a year and doing what I want to do as opposed to doing something I hate for 48-50 grand.

What about y’all? Any other people out there on the verge of burnout? Anybody already fried?

Theflinkychick 106F

8/10/2005 10:38 pm

It's difficult to be happy with what you have when you know there is so much more out there, or when you miss what you once had, but that is a whole 'nother blog, ain't it?

I'm lucky, I actually love me little job. I guess it's a little sad, sometimes I'm anxious to go to work because that's the only place I know I will get a few minutes peace and quiet.

Not all who wander are lost.

five_speed 42M

8/11/2005 5:02 am


I think that is the problem I'm having with working at home: I can't get out of this apartment. When I'm working - I'm home. I thought it was going tobe really cool, but the novelty wore off pretty quickly.

I think I'm tired of thinking for a living. I used to work like a dog when I was younger... tossing haybails, planting trees, chopping wood, trimming trees, moving furniture, clearing trails for the park service... I didn't have much, but I felt like a million bucks, and I slept great every night.

mcsusieg 50F
56 posts
8/11/2005 8:06 am

I am changing jobs on Monday ‒ interesting timing. I am a principal here and found it very difficult to make the decision to keep my money here but spend my days someplace else. As I am sure you are aware, in technology ‒ networking to development - most of the men (yes dominated by men) are very linear ‒ and I find it stifling.

I wish you the best ‒ search for Most Important Needs; whether that’s variety in tasks, time off, cashola’, or impact. Then you will have your answers…Answers on where to go from here…Ok just my penniless thoughts…

PS ‒ What a doll!! I enjoyed your writings. If that schooner needs a little maturity to help break it in...please ring a lady up !

five_speed 42M

8/11/2005 12:26 pm

Susie, I agree, it is often a very linear world, and that is one of the things I also find stifling.

There is room for some creativity in design, but it's not usually "Hey, I have a great idea I want to try" creativity. More often it's "how can I pull a McGuyver Monkey out of my ass this time to make this work" creativity.

I haven't been called a "doll" in a long time. Thanks for making me smile. If I get that schooner, I'll be sure to let you know!

five_speed 42M

8/11/2005 12:31 pm

Sil, You're talking my language. I'm seriously considering a career change. I like to cook, and I've often thought about gunsmithing. But I doubt I'll do any of that. I'll either tough it out until the dream job comes along or say to hell with it all and go back home where I can toss hay, chop firewood, clear powerlines, and dig a ditch or too. - marry some young country girl that thinks I'm sophisticated just because I've been outside of the county more than once - write books and wrestle with the dogs and raise my kids.

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