Blog Bitching: 1 of 7  

five_speed 42M
3250 posts
10/19/2005 12:41 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Blog Bitching: 1 of 7

I’m sick this week, down with sinus drainage and sore throat and aching joints and a stiff neck and swollen lymph nodes and headaches. I am not happy. In fact, I feel crabby-nasty and mean as hell, and I am going to spread a little of the misery.

As much as I absolutely love being here, there are a few things I really hate about Blogland. Now, I am not talking about the eons required to post new blogs and comments. I am not talking about the retarded ranking system or the schizophrenic comment and view counters. Sure, those things really piss me off, but they are not my focus today.

Today I am bitching about practices many of us, myself included, do often, things that just chap my ass. Starting today, I will post a series of seven ass-chapping blog practices. If I come across as an asshole at any point during these posts, it’s probably because I am in fact an asshole.

Without further ado, here’s the first of seven:

1) customized blog titles: I hate this “feature.” Maybe it’s a residual side effect of my military training (uniformity, dress-right-dress, etc,) or perhaps it’s a peeve from years of teaching and looking at tons of data all at once, but I like data summaries to be neat, orderly, and uniform. The blog front page is a data summary that details new blogs and new blog entries. When some one uses the html tags to make their blog title big, or in different colors, or in a different font, it screws up my nice, neat table, and it pisses me off. I rarely read blogs that have customized titles. They make my front page pure chaos, which really pisses in my cheerios.


bulging_boy 50M

10/19/2005 3:41 am

I'm with you on that one.

Multi coloured headlines don't scream I'm clever to me... they just scream out I need help... someone help... please...


bulging_boy 50M

10/19/2005 3:43 am

Sinus Drainage???

ewwwwwww


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/19/2005 4:31 am

You forgot to mention how well you whine when you're sick.

Yes, you're an asshole. I find it endearing.

I don't use color or font variations in my titles, but do so at times within the post text. Does that piss you off as well?


onelittlesecret 35M
1579 posts
10/19/2005 5:43 am

I don't really mind it, but the only one I question is making the text bigger. What if everyone did that...? *shudder*

Good start, I wonder what the next one is going to be...

Hope I'm not guilty...lol...hehehe


onelittlesecret 35M
1579 posts
10/19/2005 5:43 am

and don't worry, we're all assholes.


rm_DaphneR 59F
8023 posts
10/19/2005 7:24 am

EWWwwwwww, pissy cheerios sound just nasty. No wonder you're sick.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


dano6332 57M

10/19/2005 8:32 am

Am I the only one wondering how he got so deathly ill? OK guess so but shame on you DT for ever taking him to the zoo in the first place probably allergic to the damn Meerkats.

Hope you feel better 5er and remember it is part of the secret conspiracy of women everywhere. They steal your vitality at night while you sleep through vampiric methods and while we fall madly in love they cause havoc and plot our demise. Just want to warn you.


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/19/2005 11:46 am

**whines** Hey I'm sick too!!! He has the whole "whine" thing mastered. You know how it is...men don't do illness very well.

**emits hiss as vampiric teeth are revealed**


dano6332 57M

10/19/2005 1:26 pm

LMAO at least us men can kick your butt in one category we are much bigger whiners when we are ill.

SEE I told you quick look at her teeth!!


anchcpl4fun 42M/45F

10/19/2005 4:13 pm

Afrin for severe congestion. Eventually its going to be Severe congestion. Just giving ya a heads up......


rm_sj365 57F
2414 posts
10/19/2005 6:56 pm

i wonder if there is a way to only allow the fancy stuff to show up on the actual blogs, not the main listing page. I dont care for it much myself, but to each his/her own, it jsut makes for a messy main page I agree.


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/19/2005 7:48 pm

Dano...shhhhh...that was supposed to be our secret.


tillerbabe 57F

10/19/2005 11:07 pm

Do you "line up" your shoes???? Just wonderin'


five_speed 42M

10/19/2005 11:10 pm

Bulging, lots of people on this site need help. I’m thinking about starting a clinic.

DT, wah! Wah! Wah! Wah! *sucks thumb*

Valleyrat, I never made it to NTC, but I spent more time than I liked doing exercises at Ft Polk. Ugh.

OLS, The bigger text is my main peeve as well. Time will tell if you are guilty or not.

Daphne, the piss in the cheerios actually does a lot to offset their natural unsweetened ass taste.

Dano, that damn chimpanzee told me it loved me… I was a fool in love. Love? No. It was just lust. I see that now. (Thanks for the succubus warning!)

Sil, DT did not pee in my cheerios. I only eat my own urine. Go ahead and revel in my pain. At least my suffering serves someone’s greater good!

DT, wah! Wah! Wah! *sucks other thumb. It tastes like butt. Goes back to the first thumb*

Jez, I am grumpy! All growly and snarly and mean. Can’t seem to help it.

Dano, thanks for the warning. The sick thing is…. I like her teeth.

Trav, no one should care if they are guilty or not. I’m just a whiny, sick little bitch who has nothing better to do than complain about EVERYTHING.

anchcpl4fun, thanks for the tip, darllin!

SJ, I have wondered the same thing, but since I suspect the tags are being interpreted in line by the web browsers, I doubt much can be done about it.

DT, quit your plotting and scheming! I see you!


2xTwiceShy 52M
470 posts
10/20/2005 2:25 am

Oh, you must spend hours on Expat's blog. lol


AlbertPrince 59M

10/20/2005 4:06 am

You must REALLY hate mine then. Am I going to feature in all seven?

And make sure you pop over to The Sunshine Strippers.
Blogville’s very own strip troupe needs your support!


bulging_boy 50M

10/20/2005 4:20 am

Fuck! Wouldya?

That'd be great. My last 4 psychiatrists took their own lives while in session with me. Always the same way... jumping out the window.

Do you think there's something in that?

I called the cops after my hour was up. I always like to get value for money, just a shame they did it in the first minute.

Always on the second session. Hmmmm...

Nope. No fucking idea


five_speed 42M

10/20/2005 12:58 pm

Tiller, no, I can't even find my shoes. Hell, some days I think I'd lose my genitals if they weren't stapled in place.

Twiceshy, I like expat alot. He's very colorful, but I won't hold it against him.

Albert, I don't hate you man. I was looking at the list of blogs I've recently commented in, and right beside the lines " I rarely read blogs that have customized titles. " in my blog, I saw I had posted in one of yours with a customized title. DOH!

Bulging, I'm trying to remember if I have any grudges agianst any therapists. Maybe you and I can work out a deal...


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/20/2005 8:38 pm

"DT, wah! Wah! Wah! *sucks other thumb. It tastes like butt. Goes back to the first thumb*"

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Glad you like the teeth...I plan on using them a great deal.


five_speed 42M

10/21/2005 1:00 am


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