Today is a new day as was yesterday..  

firstflight6942 58M
37 posts
7/28/2006 1:09 pm

Last Read:
8/1/2006 10:50 am

Today is a new day as was yesterday..

I started a blog a while back and was actually on my way through the 20 years of marriage by story. Well, I deleted it. It wasn't that the writing was bad, I really just kind of wanted to put it behind me. I could have probably gone on for weeks about how things happened or whatever but I have done this in my mind 64,397 times already and really did not need to type it all out.

Today is a new day and I feel good (Happy Mood Herbs I'm telling ya) and really realize it's time to step forward. The last few months have been the weirdest roller coaster ride of my life. I stopped drinking last April and found emotions and qualities about myself that I did not realize were in there. To go through the last two months (separated in late May) sober was at best a challenge emotionally. (I was not a heavy drinker by any stretch. Three/four times a week.) Not having the numbing effect of liqueur was a challenge at first but faded quite quickly. Since April I have had a G & T and three glasses of red stuff all on separate occasions. Not a problem. Didn't even think about drink # 2. So that said....

I do love and miss my wife in ways I never knew I would. We are very good friends and get along quite well. She in her own mind just doesn't see me as the companion she wanted. Those that know me know I am very much a 50/50 friend but with her it was more of a 60/40 and today I regret that. The way I showed my love was different than the way she expected to see it. Hmm.. So live and learn.

So today I put a foot forward and am preparing myself to move on. Not easy in that we have so much invested in each other. There is a lot of love on both sides but just not enough of the right kind of love.

Can we get back together? Gut feeling? No. Back of my mind? Maybe. Her mind? Dunno, no clues or messages sent one way or the other lately.

So I'm stepping............... See ya out there!

rm_bkwrmgurl 51F

7/28/2006 2:16 pm

Sounds like you've got the right attitude about things. Divorce is never easy, and there are always regrets. It's good that you can still remain friends.

biandhornyinWI 48F
157 posts
8/1/2006 1:36 am

Hang in there And you know where to find a nice smile when you need one!

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