Love at First Sight  

felixoxox 49F
46 posts
8/14/2006 1:04 am

Last Read:
11/12/2008 11:06 pm

Love at First Sight

When I was an immature teenager with my emotions all over the place, I remember going "ga-ga" over guys. I remember experiencing "love at first sight" even though I didn't know one thing about the person. I remember that it felt amazing and out of control and exciting...I call that infatuation. Now that I'm older and wiser, I don't get infatuated anymore. I see people that are attractive but before anything "clicks" inside me, I have to know something about the person first and be attracted to that. I have a theory...many of us grown-ups are longing for that infatuation...myself included...I'd love to be irrational and crazy and let my emotions take me wherever they want...but it never happens anymore because my adult rational brain stops it. In my adult life, I have come across a lot of men who are determined to recapture those feelings. They want a woman that knocks their socks off from the instant they meet...maybe a lot of women want that with men they meet too. The other way people become involved is by starting out as friends with a lot in common and then lo-and-behold, love develops over time. I don't think these two things are mutually can have instant infatuation and attraction to someone and then get lucky enough to have things in common to the point where you really fall in can also have a comfortable friendship and mutual interests with someone who you find attractive enough to the point where you really fall in love. What I want to know is which way has the best long term success? I tend to believe that even though you don't have instant "fireworks" with someone, that doesn't mean you would never fall in love with them. The amazing, deep and powerful feelings that are just as strong as infatuation are there to be had with someone who you really "know". Are we all just teenagers inside and we want those amazing, out-of-control feelings? Are we unrealistic to think that we can recapture that? Are we telling ourselves that we're "settling" because the infatuation no longer happens? Ask couples you many would say "when we first met, I didn't really like him/her". Does the lack of initial fireworks or infatuation mean they are doomed to break up? I'm tired of hitting a relationship brick wall because of the lack of initial fireworks. Society has placed an unrealistic expectation out there of what is "beautiful" or "attractive". I feel like if I don't knock a guy's socks off with society's definition of "beauty", I'll never get past the brick wall. So tell you believe in "love at first sight" or "love develops over time"?
"Love at first sight" is a's the only way I'll give someone a chance
"Love at first sight" is not a deal-breaker...I look for personality and mutual interests first

ABetterMan4u2 62M
8 posts
8/15/2006 12:00 am

I think that love at first sight is real, but it's been show that there is a very strong bio-chemical response that happens in a new relationshop for the first 18 months or so.

A relationship that starts out slower and has time to mature has a much better chance at lasting. As I have matured (I hate to say "gotten older"), personality and 'inner beauty" have become more important. I have grown to feel an connecion with people that initially I didn't have any real physical attraction to until I found out who they really were.

rm_capro23 41M
30 posts
8/15/2006 6:53 pm

I think "love at first sight" definitely helps a relationship but like ABM4u2 said, slow building of a relationship leads to a longer lasting one. That being said, there's at least one occasion I remember where it wasn't just love at first sight but absolute MAGICK when we looked each other in the eye the first time.

Cool blog post! First time I've read anything about love here.

Brothren_Fast 43M

8/16/2006 9:26 pm

I just have to say is that there has been a few time's were I had love at first sight happen and it could have been the worst possible thng to happen, but there has been a couple of time's that it was just sweet magic. So what I'm trying to say is that no one every really knows how that love at first sight will ever turn out, it could turn out to be good and everythings works out or it all turns to crap...

oversexed5353 69M/64F

8/24/2006 10:46 am

I happen to believe in Lust at first site but not love... love needs a bit of cultivation. Those who think they are in love that fast are usually just in lust...

The true love of my life, my husband of 24 years and I, really enjoy sex and enjoy sharing each other.

I have no problem with married people who are cheating on spouses, as long as they don't try to involve me in any tall tales... but that is their problem and i'm not going to turn down a good time just because the person may or may not be cheating on their spouse... there are reasons behind everything and i feel that sometimes the spouse has brought the problem on by lack of communication or lack of sexual understanding and desire... who wants to sleep with a dead fish.. I was a victim of that in my first marriage and when my hubby and i met we were both married to other people who were totally wrong for us...

Don't be so quick to judge until you know the whole story... maybe the guy who you feel is just looking for a good time is just that, but maybe he's trying to save his marriage and still manage to curb his lust at the same time...

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