Some funny and stupid pick up lines  

feel_my_heat 38F  
179 posts
1/8/2006 2:31 pm

Last Read:
6/18/2006 6:56 pm

Some funny and stupid pick up lines

Got this idea from Phineas

1. Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
2 Did it hurt? Woman: Did what hurt? When you fell out of heaven? My friend used to use this one...LOL..Dork
3. Do you sleep on your stomach? [any answer] Can I?
4. Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
5. Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside out....) Would you like to? some ass tryed this one on me
6. Hey Baby! I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag!
7. I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?
8. I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.
9. I wish you were a screen door..... [Why?] So I can slam you all day long!
10. Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.
11. My dick's been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?
12. I'm conducting a survey on the taste of vaginas. Wanna be my first participant?
13. What do I have to do to be your booty call?
14. Baby, I'm an American Express lover.... you shouldn't go home without me!
15. Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) 'Cause I could see myself in your pants. lol..guy used this one on me too
16. Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
17. Help the homeless. Take me home with you.
18. Hi, I need your help! My mom says that if I don't get a date by tomorrow, she's putting me up for adoption.
19. Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
20. Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!

LOL...Not meant to offend anyone I just thought these where funny.

Add your own if you feel like it.

Worst pick up line used on me was

guy: don't I know you
Me:no
Guy: Yeah I do know you
Me: NO, I don't know you
Guy : Maybe not in this life but the last one. I feel an amazing connection between us.
Me: I don't think so
Guy: Don't you feel it, your telling me you don't feel it.

I'm thinking ok this guy must be here with friends and just pulling some kinda of joke on me. So I look around the bar looking for some dick head friends who I figured where cracking up while they watch their friend do this. But nope this guy was there alone.

Me: Sorry but I have to go.
Guy: Wait, don't you feel it. I think we used to be soul mates.
Me: Whatever man!! BYE!!



Phineas2005 49M
854 posts
1/8/2006 8:53 pm

A friend once had a guy say to her one time:

"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

Well, it does get to the point.

Hey, Lady, that outfit in your picture, it looks great, it would sure look better on my bedroom floor.


urfantasycumtrue 38M

1/8/2006 9:29 pm

Hey Lady, those are Funny. what girl wouldn't fall for No. 6 a feed bag that must be how they do it on the farm. lol it's good to see some of your old pics again you looked sexy then and still sexy as ever now.

Fantasy


feel_my_heat 38F  
284 posts
1/8/2006 10:15 pm

Phineas did the line work for your friend?

Fantasy

Yeah that one did crack me up, I can't believe someone would use that. LOL


Phineas2005 49M
854 posts
1/8/2006 11:57 pm

No, it did not.

Although, after she told me that line, I did look at her sneakers and said "Nice sneakers...." and then she looked at he with her big latina eyes, smiled, grab my hand....

Hail to the Redskins...Saturday night was a very good night.

Obvious Pick Up Line #2: Hi, Lady, I make more money than you can spend.


Murax 55M  
934 posts
1/9/2006 2:52 am

OK, great pick up lines. But which ones would have actually worked on you? THAT is what I want to know....


kitz6 61F

1/9/2006 7:51 am

The most effective pick up line ever is: "Hello. My name is..." After that you all are on your own. I myself haven't used a pick-up line on a man in years! I usually just stand very very close to him and blow lightly on the back of his neck.


feel_my_heat 38F  
284 posts
1/9/2006 11:48 am

Hey Murax

None of these would ever work on me. I would laugh my ass off then thank them for a good laugh and walk away.

Hey Kitz

I agree with you, "Hello. My name is" is the best pick up line.

Hey Phineas

I'm beting that alot of women would fall for that line. I was just doing a search on AdultFriendFinder and it seems like 60% of the ladies profiles I checked out where all looking for sugar daddys. I even found a couple where the guy was looking for a sugar daddy for his wife. I guess he can't take care of her and prefers someone else to do it. Weird but true.


Phineas2005 49M
854 posts
1/9/2006 11:50 am

    Quoting Murax:
    OK, great pick up lines. But which ones would have actually worked on you? THAT is what I want to know....
Obvious Pick Up Line #3:

The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.

Works alot. Hey, it even worked for me.


Phineas2005 49M
854 posts
1/9/2006 11:52 am

    Quoting Murax:
    OK, great pick up lines. But which ones would have actually worked on you? THAT is what I want to know....
Obvious Pick Up Line #4:

Kitz, I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.


Phineas2005 49M
854 posts
1/9/2006 12:59 pm

    Quoting feel_my_heat:
    Hey Murax

    None of these would ever work on me. I would laugh my ass off then thank them for a good laugh and walk away.

    Hey Kitz

    I agree with you, "Hello. My name is" is the best pick up line.

    Hey Phineas

    I'm beting that alot of women would fall for that line. I was just doing a search on AdultFriendFinder and it seems like 60% of the ladies profiles I checked out where all looking for sugar daddys. I even found a couple where the guy was looking for a sugar daddy for his wife. I guess he can't take care of her and prefers someone else to do it. Weird but true.
HOT DAMN! A husband getting a sugar daddy for his wife! What a wonderful idea.

*see Phineas typing very fast setting up new accout at AdultFriendFinder*

Don't laugh,(okay do) I recently stated on my profile (the questions) that I make over $100K. The e-mails, looks, and winks HAVE increase!

Obvious Pick Up Line #5:

Hey, Lady, I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.


rm_studbolts1 32M

1/9/2006 4:31 pm

Wanna hear some more corny pickup lines? Some buddies and I have seen these used (or used some ourselves as a joke).

1) How would you like your eggs? Scrambled, poached or fertilized.
2) Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?
3) Excuse me, do you want to fuck or should I apologize.
4) Hey baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?
5) Wanna fuck like bunnies?
6) What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
7) Let's go get liquored up and each other.
Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
9) Hi. I would like to award you the {Whatever beer we were drinking} award for looking so good. Now if you will give me your name, number and other vital statistics i would like to enter you in our grand prize drawing which will win you an all expense paid date with me. - Going to try this one soon for kicks
10) I just shit into my pants. Can I get into yours?

NOTE: These two actually work and I have used them succesfully:
- Here's a quarter....call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.
- Do I know you? (No.) That's a shame, I'd sure like to.
- Wow.
- You are (pause) beautiful.


sharewus2 41M/33F

1/9/2006 5:27 pm

some of these are pretty cute, old buddy of mine makes a hobby of getting new ones as often as she can

1) don't be scared if a fat man in a red suit shoves you into a bag this week...i told santa i want you for christmas (i thought it was cute)

2) my pony died, can i ride you?

3) i lost my number, can i borrow yours?

4) are you a thief? well you sure stole my heart

5) is your father an artist? he sure made a masterpiec when he created you

sad thing is, if the line was cute ennough i'd probably end up spending an hour or 2 talking to the guy


bikerag91 49M

1/9/2006 8:42 pm

I like telling women that I'm a Certified Breast Adjuster. Any breast alignment by me comes with a Lifetime Guarantee. If they ever get out of alignment, bring 'em back, and I'll re-align them for free.

...Needless to say, I'm still looking.

No, I don't pull that on radom women...just the ones that I think have a sense of humor.


feel_my_heat 38F  
284 posts
1/10/2006 12:31 pm

LMAO @ Phineas and Biker

Phineas: Don't laugh,(okay do) I recently stated on my profile (the questions) that I make over $100K. The e-mails, looks, and winks HAVE increase!

Geezzzzzzzz seems like most of the ladies are looking for a guy with cash, Thats IT!! I must join in on what the hell their finding. Hey maybe I'm sitting on a goldmine here. LOL

Biker: I'm a Certified Breast Adjuster
You are too cute!!! Glad you did not use that on me cause I would have died laughing. LOL....


Phineas2005 49M
854 posts
1/10/2006 1:38 pm

Heat:
"Hey maybe I'm sitting on a goldmine here."

Yeah, you kinda can say that....

Obvious pick line #8:

Put a pen and a $100 in your pocket. Approach the target and take out the $100 and the pen. Rip the $100 in half and write your number on one half. Give the target the other half, then say, "Call me tonight so we can figure out how to send that money," and walk away.


rm_mike14499999 44M

1/10/2006 5:22 pm

here are a couple my friends have used. one of my friends went up to a women and asked her if she had any italian in her. her response was no he then asked her do you want some in you tonight. another time a friend of mine went up to a group of women in a bar a few minutes later they were all laughing at his jokes then he hit them with it. he then asked them so who wants cock in their mouth. after their jaws dropped and they started walking away he says whats wrong thats what your here for.


Become a member to create a blog