What should I do?  

fancy_for_you 41F
3003 posts
5/24/2006 5:40 pm

Last Read:
6/2/2006 3:47 am

What should I do?

I am choosing blue to write this because it fits my mood. Do you all remember my post about a family crisis. Well, I am coming out in the open about what that is. My one brother has become a very violent, moody, paranoid meth user.

To make a long story short last week ended with him threatening to shoot people and him going to jail. While there he called anyone and everyone he could think of to try to get bailed out. He got even more pissed when no one would take his calls.

Yesterday was his first appearance in court. Somehow he bonded himself out and is now out of jail. I have been told he has very severe restrictions which include not getting high again which people seen him this morning as jittery as a horse in pen full of rattlers. The bad thing is he is so mad at all family members and I no longer feel safe in my own home after what he did last week.

My parents want him to get basic counseling and you can't get it through their heads that he needs more than that....he needs full blown rehab. My parents even though he is pissed at them don't think it's that bad.

My delima is I am torn between staying around here to support my other brother in the fight to get my brother on the meth cleaned up.....or.....taking myself out of harms way. It's a fact that I am no match for my one brother when he isn't on meth but I know for sure he could really harm me before I could get help when he is on the meth. I feel like I would be running away and leaving the rest of my family in the lurch if I removed myself from this situation but then again what happens when my brother shows up here high on meth again and hurts me.

I also feel like I have let my brother down in some way. He was a good guy. Now he has lost everything and everyone. Surely there was something I could have done to help prevent this. It is tearing me apart mentally......I have cried more than I care to admit lately and now that I know he is out of jail I have worried myself sick about what he is going to do to the family. I am to the point I have a very terrible headache and have made myself physically sick over this. I mean my parents don't deserve this, my other brother and his wife and kids don't deserve this, and I don't deserve this but what can we do it's my parents son and my other brother and I's sibling......how do you just walk away?

*Puts my head in my hands and bawls and asks why why why*

Signed a very upset, exhausted, and confussed;



Da_Lone_Elf 51M

5/24/2006 8:09 pm

Fuzzy, you need to do what is best for you. I know you love your brother, but right now he is not the brother you love. You cannot feel guilty or worry about what you could have done differently in the past to help him, you have to do what you can to help yourself & your family now. If you don't feel safe in your own home now, but don't want to be far away from your family, go stay with family or friends. If you feel you need to distance yourself from this whole thing then do so sooner rather then later. You certainly can't help any of them if your fears come true & he comes to your house when you are alone & hurts you.

Believe me, there are plenty of friends here in IL that do not want to see you hurt any more. You need to search your heart & decide where the best place for you is.

Wishing you only the best, you are in our thoughts & prayers.


Da Elf

psylvr1963 54M

6/1/2006 10:47 pm

i dont know you, but wow i really feel for you. i agree with what da lone elf said you need to do whats best for you. i know its sad to say but sometimes family has to come 2nd. i wish you and your family all the best.


Become a member to create a blog