Begining to Wonder!  

fancy_for_you 41F
3003 posts
8/10/2006 9:21 pm

Last Read:
8/11/2006 11:09 pm

Begining to Wonder!

I am begining to wonder if some people who say they are my friends on here really are. I mean they talk to me in chat. It just seems funny if these people are supposed to be friends of mine that they never initiate communications with me. I always have to go to them. And ya know that wouldn't be a bad thing if they ever seemed like they were happy to hear from me. I truely hate trying to talk to someone who gives you this feeling that you are buging them. I have this firm believe if you don't want to talk to someone then say so. I am much more receptive to a Hey Fuzzy, I really can't talk right now....than I am to someone who sits there and barely replies because they are busy doing something. I also hate when someone says I'll talk to you later but then never sends you a message later. I am a big one on don't say you will do something and then not follow through.

I also feel a friendship shouldn't be completely one sided. I mean it isn't much of a friendship if one person is doing all the work to keep the friendship going. It should be just like any other relationship...a little give and take on both sides. The main thing is to communicate, just like in any other relationship. Now I am not saying you always have to agree with your best friend or that you should talk everyday all day long. I mean I like the fact that with my closest friends we can disagree and accept each others opinions. I also like the fact that we can go through spurts of being there for each other everyday but then again we can also go for a week sometimes without talking when we are so busy.

Anyways, I just sometimes wonder why some people think you are good enough to talk to at first but then all a sudden they don't talk to you hardly at all. I just don't get it. I sometimes think about removing these type people from my friends list but then again I am a softy and I will keep a person on my friends list just incase they need a shoulder to lean on once in a while.

Do you all have people like this you deal with? People who you wonder if they are the friends they say they are?


ButteryDelight 59F

8/10/2006 11:37 pm

I wonder the same thing fuzzy. Why ask me to be on your im list and then only talk to me if I initiate the conversation??

Buttery Delight

honey4yoghurt 41M
6 posts
8/11/2006 2:03 am

i identify v. strongly with this. this has been one of the hardest areas for me to navigate through. i think it depends a lot on who you are as a person which determines how you interprete how people react. you don't arrive with a blank slate but have a colored and possibly distorted view whihc informs your judgements. therefore, i think it is possible through talking about this to someone to improve your self-understanding. i don't know for you, but for me I can sometimes be quite intense. i find myself feeling a really strong connection with people i get on with and by being aware of that and managing it better in my everyday life I have found that being a bit more contained has enabled people to get to know me and enjoy me more. Also, giving with the expectation of receiving isn't really giving. its v. easily in this commercial world to view friendship as a sort of commodity and forget that it is the 'otherness' of being a seperate person that makes it so beautiful when friends do come together


London x
(am on yahoo btw)

Da_Lone_Elf 51M

8/11/2006 8:28 am

Hey Fuzzy, I know exactly how you feel and apologize if I seem to have come off that way at times. I don't usually start a conversation unless I have something specific to talk about. You coming to me is always welcome, if I am busy and can't really talk I try to let people know that. Otherwise I always enjoy chatting with my friends.

Da Elf

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