Longing  

evilgothgirl 52F
326 posts
2/16/2006 5:10 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Longing

Anticipation, uneasiness, electricity, wanting, longing. The time since we’ve see each other has been months. I keep your face, your smile, in my mind. We speak by email briefly prior to meeting. The subjects are flirty and fun, but is that leading up to maybe more? A longer look at each other, standing a little closer than last time, a smile that can show the knowledge of wanting more? This is the anticipation, or at least the start. I look at you and my heart jumps. My memory has failed me. Your presence is more than I remember. The first chance we are near each other, all I want is to touch you. The opportunity is not there, all I can hope for is the chance to be with you later. We plan to meet later, but not alone. This makes it safe for us both.
As I wait for you, I am afraid that you will not show. I have tried to arrange meetings before with no response that gave me hope, could this be the first chance? As the conversation takes the tone of will he or won’t he, you show.
I feel like a little school girl again. You are given the chance to either sit next to me or not, and it is me you choose. I am thinking that it was much safer for you to sit across from me, the chance to keep it completely harmless. Does this mean something?
The evening is fun, the conversations are playful. I am flirting with you, do you notice? Do you want to continue? We brush up against each other, will it happen again or will you pull away from me? At first you did, but it continues through the night. We continue to discuss safe items, but for the few brief moments we are alone at the table, the conversation turn to sex. We talk about your activities from the prior night. I am both glad to know that you are willing to fulfill your desires, and jealous that the story does not include me. As we speak, the conversations turn to me. I tell you more than I should. I start to imply the lifestyle, that I have, but I stop because I am afraid that I will push you away and that is something I do not want that to happen. I want to see you again. This is the uneasiness.
You keep saying you want to leave, you need to leave, but you don’t. We continue to talk, but you rarely look at me. When you do look at me, or innocently touch me, or I take to chance to touch you, this is the electricity.
Wanting….this is all night. I wanted to be alone with you. I wanted to be closer to you. I wanted to touch you. Your hands, your face, your hair, your chest. I want to feel your hands in mine. I want to be in your arms. I want to feel the warmth of your skin, the warmth of your breath as we speak so closely to each other. I want to touch your face, your lips. I want to kiss you, short and sweet, long and passionately. I want you to take my breath away. I want you to touch me, to want me, to make love to me. I want your sex, your scent, your sweet sweat. I want to exhaust each other with the need to make love. I want to lay in your arms, until we are ready for more. I want to be with you, to know you, to have sex with you.
The longing is never ending. I long to speak with you. I long to spend time getting to become friends. I long to see you and spend time with you. I long to kiss you, touch you and make love to you. I long to have uninhibited sex with you.

I want to consume you. This is not a cry for a never ending love affair, just the need to love you till you cry for an ending. I know what you need, what you want, and I will give that to you. Until I have the chance, I will continue to hope.


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