Jokes  

evilgothgirl 52F
326 posts
2/3/2006 5:32 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Jokes

some are old, some are new...if you find any of these offensive.....so!

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
driving.

Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong".

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
other?
A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
half-mast?
They're hiring.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage
along with... "a recipe".

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." -A southern fairytale
begins "Y'all ain'tgonnabelievethisshit.....

Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides


Sorceror07 55M

2/3/2006 6:21 am

roflmao! i love it! sum ting wong... god i'm friggin rolling here!

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


timberwolf6972 45M

2/3/2006 6:38 am

I love those


saddletrampsk 55F

2/3/2006 7:14 am

Thanks for the laugh..


rm_art_persists 53M
1789 posts
2/3/2006 8:24 am

I'll be passing a few on


rm_art_persists 53M
1789 posts
2/3/2006 8:25 am

I'll be passing a few of these on


rm_famine21 34M
47 posts
2/4/2006 7:55 pm

Those are great thanx for the laugh

till we meet next Sex Guns and Rock N' Roll
Joey Famine


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