Job Application.  

eveready06 43M
1058 posts
6/27/2006 2:26 pm

Last Read:
7/9/2006 6:06 am

Job Application.


This Kid will go far…

This is an actual job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald’s restaurant in Florida; and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME:

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and ‘post-it’ notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

AVAILABLE FOR WORK: Of course. That’s why I’m applying.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 ‒ 3:30pm., Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UPTO 50lbs?: 50lbs. of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be the winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job, no, on my breaks, yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb blond supermodel who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.



rm_xxSpecialKxx 47F
1614 posts
6/27/2006 9:56 pm

oh my goddddddddd hunny i showed you that application in the stricted confidence thats it Molly & Harry are officially bastards if you werent so fuckin gorgggggggg id be serious in thos eactions but as you are you can have access 6 days and 50 minutes a week ok xxx

mwahhhhhhhhhh thats funny hunny xxxxxxxxxxxxk


ScratchNSniffff 43M/45F
9 posts
6/27/2006 10:10 pm

thats too funny dude theres some stupid people out there isnt there? either he's thick as shite or he's doing the spud from trainspotting social security interview either way makes for an entertianing read cheers that was funny s&s


eveready06 43M

6/28/2006 2:10 pm

    Quoting rm_xxSpecialKxx:
    oh my goddddddddd hunny i showed you that application in the stricted confidence thats it Molly & Harry are officially bastards if you werent so fuckin gorgggggggg id be serious in thos eactions but as you are you can have access 6 days and 50 minutes a week ok xxx

    mwahhhhhhhhhh thats funny hunny xxxxxxxxxxxxk

Baby! I'm sorry but the world needs to be warned just how truly warped you are Lmao! Kiddin hunny! For the other 23 hrs and 10mins do I get to sleep?


eveready06 43M

6/28/2006 2:12 pm

    Quoting ScratchNSniffff:
    thats too funny dude theres some stupid people out there isnt there? either he's thick as shite or he's doing the spud from trainspotting social security interview either way makes for an entertianing read cheers that was funny s&s
Think he might just know exactly what he's saying scratch! Thanx for posting mate!


pretty_blue_eyes 39F
2091 posts
6/28/2006 7:07 pm

Oh my gosh, to funny! lol. Just goes to show McDonalds will hire anyone! He probably will be the next CEO!


eveready06 43M

6/29/2006 3:28 pm

    Quoting pretty_blue_eyes:
    Oh my gosh, to funny! lol. Just goes to show McDonalds will hire anyone! He probably will be the next CEO!
Think you only have to walk in there to realise that hun! 5 Gold stars! lol well I suppose theyve gotta have some incentive!


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