Blog Entry 2: What Women Want  

rm_eumenides_k 41F
17 posts
3/25/2006 9:44 am

Last Read:
3/27/2006 12:04 am

Blog Entry 2: What Women Want

I just spent a half hour with my friend's husband. No, not that kind of time, tyvm. Just gettin' shit out of storage to build a set. But I listen to him on the phone with her, and I think...ok, he's less educated than she, but he's nice enough. And then he goes and makes a jackass comment to her and is surprised when she hangs up. Bitches to me about it.

And I think...there are really so few things that women want as a collective group, but I could almost guarantee that a generalized answer would be: don't be an asswipe. Or in the more constructive, positive vein: think before you speak.

*shakes head*

Between my friends' divorces, custody battles, self esteem issues, and my own experiences, I begin to understand the allure of hotmatch. Sex is one of those primal, instinctual needs of the human species. But society has us legally binding ourselves to people who have the potential to strip away the strength in our character and our individuality. (Note: this is not a gender specific statement...women are just as bad from what I've been exposed to.) So why do we put ourselves in a position to allow someone to chip away at us like that? I don't get it. Been there, done that, burned the t-shirt, etc. Societal moral and ethical guidelines is my best guess. We're SUPPOSED to want to get married. To tie ourselves to someone. To breed little people.

And yet, here is a world where one can say: "if you're into me, and bring some protection...let's just satiate our basic needs. And maybe have fun while we're at it. And at the end of the night...walk away. Just say no to jackasses...even if they are good in bed. Just say no to bimbettes...even if they have an Aphroditic body and the sucking power of a Hoover Elite. Just have your fun and walk away.

And for God's sake...don't sign anything!


DIVISION77 40M
8337 posts
3/26/2006 2:38 am

If you bought in to societal mores in the first place you were already behind the proverbial 8-ball, so to speak.

Women want self-autonomy, but they don't make decisions which back up that assertion. For every woman who says "just say no to jackasses" there are two women who are going after assholes because they see them as a "challenge", only reinforcing the stereotype that women like to be treated like shit.

Women don't want nice guys, regardless of what they say. Nice guys are the ones think they are in a solid committed relationship, then are heartbroken to find out their gf/wife has been cheating on them with a "badboy" type. This is nature.

If that wasn't the case, then you explain to me why me as a single guy can go to the grocery store and have married women with kids doing more than "flirting" with me. She's not looking for conversation, she's looking for discrete sex while her husband is at work, regardless of the fact that she has kids with her. What does she want from me? To satiate "basic needs"? I'd say that's obvious. I would also say that a married woman would probably think of her committment to her husband first, not to mention her kids..over her sexual needs. Right?

That wasn't the case, at least with this woman. The funny thing is, this is not the first time it's happened.

Women are just as bad as Men, they just hide it better.

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


rm_eumenides_k 41F

3/26/2006 11:55 am

    Quoting DIVISION77:
    If you bought in to societal mores in the first place you were already behind the proverbial 8-ball, so to speak.

    Women want self-autonomy, but they don't make decisions which back up that assertion. For every woman who says "just say no to jackasses" there are two women who are going after assholes because they see them as a "challenge", only reinforcing the stereotype that women like to be treated like shit.

    Women don't want nice guys, regardless of what they say. Nice guys are the ones think they are in a solid committed relationship, then are heartbroken to find out their gf/wife has been cheating on them with a "badboy" type. This is nature.

    If that wasn't the case, then you explain to me why me as a single guy can go to the grocery store and have married women with kids doing more than "flirting" with me. She's not looking for conversation, she's looking for discrete sex while her husband is at work, regardless of the fact that she has kids with her. What does she want from me? To satiate "basic needs"? I'd say that's obvious. I would also say that a married woman would probably think of her committment to her husband first, not to mention her kids..over her sexual needs. Right?

    That wasn't the case, at least with this woman. The funny thing is, this is not the first time it's happened.

    Women are just as bad as Men, they just hide it better.

    DIV
I definitely agree with the majority of what you say. Few women seem to actively pursue what they say they want. Though The Wedding Date was a poor movie, one quote stands out. I'm going to have to paraphrase: "Every woman has the love life she wants." I mostly agree with this sentiment. People create the constructs of their romantic and sexual lives almost subconsciously. They say they want something different, but if they truly wanted it, they'd go out and get it.

Your comment about married women only goes to solidify my feelings about this habit of legally binding ourselves. In this day and age, how many people do you think are capable of being faithful for 50+ years? I know they exist, but is it out of true love and loyalty? Or is there more fear of losing their carefully constructed life? Perhaps I'm too cynical for marriage.


DIVISION77 40M
8337 posts
3/26/2006 1:18 pm

    Quoting rm_eumenides_k:
    I definitely agree with the majority of what you say. Few women seem to actively pursue what they say they want. Though The Wedding Date was a poor movie, one quote stands out. I'm going to have to paraphrase: "Every woman has the love life she wants." I mostly agree with this sentiment. People create the constructs of their romantic and sexual lives almost subconsciously. They say they want something different, but if they truly wanted it, they'd go out and get it.

    Your comment about married women only goes to solidify my feelings about this habit of legally binding ourselves. In this day and age, how many people do you think are capable of being faithful for 50+ years? I know they exist, but is it out of true love and loyalty? Or is there more fear of losing their carefully constructed life? Perhaps I'm too cynical for marriage.
I think it's a combination of both, as to what percentage of each, I can't say.

Society's view of marriage as a sacred vow is not held on a pedestral the way it was two generations ago. Now marriages are disposable, and at times simply arrangements made out of convenience.

I know for a fact that my mother has only remained faithful to my father for the sake of that "carefully constructed life". Regardless of how she is neglected, she won't leave him, even despite my assurances to do so.

You come off as slightly jaded to me in your posts, almost as if you've given up on the concept of marriage. That's my impression.

On a side note: You have a nice complexion. Don't ruin it by tanning. From the looks of your pics, you don't tan well, you just burn. Remember that.

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


rm_eumenides_k 41F

3/26/2006 2:00 pm

    Quoting DIVISION77:
    I think it's a combination of both, as to what percentage of each, I can't say.

    Society's view of marriage as a sacred vow is not held on a pedestral the way it was two generations ago. Now marriages are disposable, and at times simply arrangements made out of convenience.

    I know for a fact that my mother has only remained faithful to my father for the sake of that "carefully constructed life". Regardless of how she is neglected, she won't leave him, even despite my assurances to do so.

    You come off as slightly jaded to me in your posts, almost as if you've given up on the concept of marriage. That's my impression.

    On a side note: You have a nice complexion. Don't ruin it by tanning. From the looks of your pics, you don't tan well, you just burn. Remember that.

    DIV
LOL...Yes, I've almost given up on the idea of marriage. I'm just not sure where it fits into my restructured world. I haven't given up on the idea entirely. Who knows...maybe I'll change my mind when the right person comes along. But as far as right now: Just say no to dotted lines.

The only tanning I do is when I forget my sunscreen on a camping trip. When I do, I tan pretty well. But I'm not much for the whole tan=sexy idea.


rm_eumenides_k 41F

3/26/2006 6:15 pm

    Quoting rm_sexyfitwoman:
    Interesting post...

    I think social values do interfer with women going after what they want.
*nods* I think it's because it's based on a hierarchy that some of us do not believe in anymore.


DIVISION77 40M
8337 posts
3/26/2006 11:28 pm

    Quoting rm_eumenides_k:
    LOL...Yes, I've almost given up on the idea of marriage. I'm just not sure where it fits into my restructured world. I haven't given up on the idea entirely. Who knows...maybe I'll change my mind when the right person comes along. But as far as right now: Just say no to dotted lines.

    The only tanning I do is when I forget my sunscreen on a camping trip. When I do, I tan pretty well. But I'm not much for the whole tan=sexy idea.
The problem with that paradigm is that while you sit in your whole "restructured ego-centric world", the possible "right person" that you would otherwise meet is probably pushed away by your own sense of priorities.

It's a defense mechanism and you will most likely remain single if you choose to expect other's to meet your specific set of expectations. No one person is tailor-made for another. There are compromises, esp in the beginning.

It sounds to me like you are happy remaining single.

Nothing wrong with that.

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


rm_eumenides_k 41F

3/27/2006 12:04 am

    Quoting DIVISION77:
    The problem with that paradigm is that while you sit in your whole "restructured ego-centric world", the possible "right person" that you would otherwise meet is probably pushed away by your own sense of priorities.

    It's a defense mechanism and you will most likely remain single if you choose to expect other's to meet your specific set of expectations. No one person is tailor-made for another. There are compromises, esp in the beginning.

    It sounds to me like you are happy remaining single.

    Nothing wrong with that.

    DIV
Funny...I find that my restructured world is not ego-centric at all. And my views on marriage have yet to be a problem in the relationships I have had. I'm excellent at compromise, and I tend to give more than I get. But you're right about one thing...for the time being I'm happy being single. But I don't for a second push away someone who believes that there's potential for a relationship if I think we're suited. I think you misread my stance. *shrugs*


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