Better Cookie Cutter Profiles?  

rm_eroticker 63M
21 posts
7/2/2006 12:46 am

Last Read:
5/11/2013 6:32 pm

Better Cookie Cutter Profiles?


Maybe we should make a contest out of these cookie cutter profiles. As in, can you do better? Or, for that matter, worse? Here are the rules:

1. Write a profile using only the lead-ins listed below.

2. Each continuation can be at most two full sentences.

3. Lead-ins cannot be repeated. Other than that, select as many or as few as you like.

4. Overall consistency of the profile is not required.

Here are the lead-ins, courtesy of A F F's stealth feature, the formidable Instant Profile Writer (the link to my blog entry titled "CookieCutter Profiles" will not work until A F F fixes yet another bug):
  • I'm the type who's
  • I'm your typical
  • Hey there! I'm
  • Hello! I'm
  • I've reached the point where
  • My friends call me
  • On Sunday afternoons I like to
  • The philosophy I live by is
  • I tend to be
  • I like to
  • Experience-wise,
  • Sexually,
  • When I'm at home alone,
  • When I go out,
  • When I'm out driving
  • I get along best with people who
  • I like my partners to be
  • For me a perfect date is
  • I'm in the mood for
  • I want to
  • Commitment-wise,
  • I'm not changing my life,
  • If you contact me
  • Feel free to drop me a line
  • I look forward to
And yes, there is a URL to A F F's recommended continuations. No fair peeking!

MissAnnThrope 57F
11488 posts
7/2/2006 1:25 pm

Hey there! I'm a desperate webgeek who signed up to find the free sluts. My friends call me shithead when I call and tell me to leave them alone, but I know they're just joking. Such kidders. I'm the type who's really into porn flicks. And the chicks in the ads looked like types I'd fuck. When I'm at home alone, I'm masturbating to your webcams. You've been warned! *w* I'm your typical Star Wars geek, living in my parent's basement. They say I can have girls over, if I can find any, so don't let them bother you. I've reached the point where I think it's time I lost my virginity. I am 45 after all. On Sunday afternoons I like to prance around my next-door neighbor's yard naked, pretending to have a bacchanalian. Or I did, until the restraining order. The philosophy I live by is live fast, die young, have a good looking corpse. So come kill me with sex, I'm running out of time! I tend to be found by the cops, peeping in your windows. But don't let that bother you, I'm really harmless. Experience-wise, I've watched every movie Ron Jeremy ever made, so I know all his moves and can promise you, the loss of my virginity will be the experience of your lifetime. When I go out, I like to feel up chicks on the bus. Until they made me stop riding the bus. I like my partners to be hot and slutty! How else? For me a perfect date is porn movies, my special popcorn tub and a waterbed. Hubba-hubba! I get along best with people who like to dress as Princess Leia. I'm in the mood for hot wookie sex! Kidding, that would be gross and stuff. I'm in the mood for sex and lots of it. God, why can't I get laid? I want to lose my virginity. Seriously. Commitment-wise, I want a hot chick who can recite scenes from the Star Wars movies with me. I'm not changing my life, unless you've got a great house, where we can build a replica of the Millenium Falcon in your front yard. If you contact me, don't quote Darth Vader! He gives me the creeps. Feel free to drop me a line if you look good dressed like Princess Leia, in that slave girl outfit. I look forward to having sex just once before I die!


MissAnnThrope 57F
11488 posts
7/2/2006 1:28 pm

Hey there! I'm a desperate webgeek who signed up to find the free sluts. My friends call me shithead when I call and tell me to leave them alone, but I know they're just joking. Such kidders. I'm the type who's really into porn flicks. And the chicks in the ads looked like types I'd fuck. When I'm at home alone, I'm masturbating to your webcams. You've been warned! *w* I'm your typical Star Wars geek, living in my parent's basement. They say I can have girls over, if I can find any, so don't let them bother you. I've reached the point where I think it's time I lost my virginity. I am 45 after all. On Sunday afternoons I like to prance around my next-door neighbor's yard naked, pretending to have a bacchanalian. Or I did, until the restraining order. The philosophy I live by is live fast, die young, have a good looking corpse. So come kill me with sex, I'm running out of time! I tend to be found by the cops, peeping in your windows. But don't let that bother you, I'm really harmless. Experience-wise, I've watched every movie Ron Jeremy ever made, so I know all his moves and can promise you, the loss of my virginity will be the experience of your lifetime. When I go out, I like to feel up chicks on the bus. Until they made me stop riding the bus. I like my partners to be hot and slutty! How else? For me a perfect date is porn movies, my special popcorn tub and a waterbed. Hubba-hubba! I get along best with people who like to dress as Princess Leia. I'm in the mood for hot wookie sex! Kidding, that would be gross and stuff. I want to lose my virginity. Seriously. Commitment-wise, I want a hot chick who can recite scenes from the Star Wars movies with me. I'm not changing my life, unless you've got a great house, where we can build a replica of the Millenium Falcon in your front yard. If you contact me, don't quote Darth Vader! He gives me the creeps. Feel free to drop me a line if you look good dressed like Princess Leia, in that slave girl outfit. I look forward to having sex just once before I die!


cuteNEway 42F

7/2/2006 2:51 pm

I'll call this the "What They're REALLY thinking" Profile

I'm the type who's not willing to make any commitment further than the 3 minutes it will take me to fuck you. I may or may not drive you home. I'm your typical selfish prick. I look out for #1.

Hey there! I'm just a guy man. I have needs and I take care of them. I've reached the point where I'm just sick of "women's issues". All I want is a pussy to fuck. My friends call me The Charmer. I can "charm" the panties off any woman! On Sunday afternoons I like to lay back and watch some porn. Sometimes I'll have some lucky lady suck me off while I have a beer.

The philosophy I live by is "This pussy may be good but I know there's one better around the corner!" My friends even had a t-shirt made with that on it. I tend to be laid back. No need to rush dude. Experience-wise, I am the MAN. A lesbian taught me how to eat pussy (she even let me practice on her)!

When I'm at home alone, I walk around farting and scratching my balls. Thats what having a bachelor pad is all about. When I go out, I like to rate the women I before I hit on them. Nothing less than a 10 for me! I get along best with people who don't bust my balls. I like easygoing, relaxed guys to hang with.

I like my partners to be ready to party. I like to get right down to the adult fun. For me a perfect date is when I pick up a girl and she sucks me off as I drive to the motel. When we get to the motel she's already swallowed and ready to go! I'm in the mood for an easy pussy. I don't see the need for putting so much effort into getting laid.

I want to get my dick sucked while I take a shit. Hey doesn't every guy? Commitment-wise, I am against it. Who needs to commit when there's so much easy pussy to try. I'm not changing my life, I have no intention of being someone else to please you. I like who I am.

If you contact me be sure to include nude body pics. I have to see what the goods before I go through the trouble of picking you up. Feel free to drop me a line if you are a hot, young thing with no limits. The kinkier the better! I look forward to showing you how good my cock will fuck your mouth. You'll love the taste of my cum!


tee hee


cuteNEway 42F

7/2/2006 2:53 pm

I'll call this the "What They're REALLY thinking" Profile

I'm the type who's not willing to make any commitment further than the 3 minutes it will take me to fuck you. I may or may not drive you home. I'm your typical selfish prick. I look out for #1.

Hey there! I'm just a guy man. I have needs and I take care of them. I've reached the point where I'm just sick of "women's issues". All I want is a pussy to fuck. My friends call me The Charmer. I can "charm" the panties off any woman! On Sunday afternoons I like to lay back and watch some porn. Sometimes I'll have some lucky lady suck me off while I have a beer.

The philosophy I live by is "This pussy may be good but I know there's one better around the corner!" My friends even had a t-shirt made with that on it. I tend to be laid back. No need to rush dude. Experience-wise, I am the MAN. A lesbian taught me how to eat pussy (she even let me practice on her)!

When I'm at home alone, I walk around farting and scratching my balls. Thats what having a bachelor pad is all about. When I go out, I like to rate the women I before I hit on them. Nothing less than a 10 for me! I get along best with people who don't bust my balls. I like easygoing, relaxed guys to hang with.

I like my partners to be ready to party. I like to get right down to the adult fun. For me a perfect date is when I pick up a girl and she sucks me off as I drive to the motel. When we get to the motel she's already swallowed and ready to go! I'm in the mood for an easy pussy. I don't see the need for putting so much effort into getting laid.

I want to get my dick sucked while I take a shit. Hey doesn't every guy? Commitment-wise, I am against it. Who needs to commit when there's so much easy pussy to try. I'm not changing my life, I have no intention of being someone else to please you. I like who I am.

If you contact me be sure to include nude body pics. I have to see the goods before I go through the trouble of picking you up. Feel free to drop me a line if you are a hot, young thing with no limits. The kinkier the better! I look forward to showing you how good my cock will fuck your mouth. You'll love the taste of my cum!


tee hee


Corrupt_Me_79 38M

7/4/2006 9:15 am

Those are hilarious, and I don't think I can top them, but...

I’m the type who claims I have a high sex drive, but really means once or twice a week when I want it. Hey there! I’m your typical post-feminist slut ‒ I just say I’m stutty to attract attention!

Hello! I’m looking for the man of my dreams! I’ve reached the point where I deserve to have a fairytale prince meet my every fantasy requirement, and I’m using the Internet to find him. My friends call me Miranda, but I am secretly more like Samantha. On Sunday afternoons I like to get together with my girlfriends and complain about why I’m not getting laid enough and how there are no good men left. The philosophy I live by is “I’m not waiting for the perfect man, just the ideal one!”

I tend to claim I like things to attract people without any intention of actually doing them. “I enjoy anal sex, but not often” really means “There are not enough glasses of wine in the world” and “Bi-curious” really means “I’ll say she’s hot and I would fuck her if it’s in a porno we’re watching.” Experience-wise, I was a hooker in former life! That means me on top until I get off, then missionary until you finish, then we cuddle for a little bit.

When I’m home alone, my best friends are a bottle of red wine, my vibrator, and my Sex and the City DVDs, not necessarily in that order!

I like my partners to be like a cross between Aidan and Mr. Big, but with the body of an Olympic swimmer and hung like a porn star. Girth is a must! For me, a perfect date is walking barefoot on Siesta Key at sunset, followed by a flight on your private jet to a candlelight dinner in Paris. The next morning we’ll go shoe shopping in the most expensive districts before riding in your limo to your villa in the south.

Commitment-wise, I’m not looking for anything serious ‒ just the fairytale ending. However, if you don’t call the next day, I will still be up all night wondering what I did wrong. I’m not changing my life, I’m just holding out for what I deserve! If you contact me, please be able to meet my fantasy requirements above or I will NOT reply.


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