endowed_4_fun 43M
80 posts
8/6/2006 10:23 pm

Last Read:
8/13/2006 10:22 pm


My ex-fiancee and I are still friends. Or, rather, back to being friends. I still care about her and enjoy hanging out with her from time to time -- its just the life-partner business that was our problem. Most of the time these days, we can spend time together without getting at each others throats. Which is nice, except when things go too well. And she gets a familiar look in her eye. I know whats coming next and would do just about anything to avoid it... she'll say "If only you could change, we could get back together." I usually don't respond at all, as she wouldn't like the truth, which is that every time she says that it not only makes us getting back together even more of an impossibility, but it makes me not even want to be friends, either.

I'm a big believer in accepting people for who they are, flaws and all. Maybe I'm a fool, demanding to be accepted for who I am, when so many others easily gain acceptance by pretending to be someone they're not. Maybe I'm a hypocrite, for demanding someone accept my flaws, but not accepting their "flaw" of wanting to change me. Maybe I'm alone.

Addy19742 44F

8/7/2006 9:03 am

No you are so not alone. I called of my wedding. It will be a year this October. I cannot imagine what it would be like to continue to see him. I am glad you are friends. That is something rare I think. If I did not make a totaly break from the situation I am afraid we would have gotten married and I would be miserable.

I think that is what we all want, to be accepted for we are good, bad, or indifferent. However, my friend, as you know that is hard to find. I am hopeful though that someone will. I don't want to be changed either. If one does not accept you for all you are, it will never work in my opinion. It might for awhile but then it will burn out.

endowed_4_fun replies on 8/7/2006 3:00 pm:
Spot on. It worked for a while, then burned out.

rm_wetfingeraz 55F
3012 posts
8/7/2006 5:56 pm

Maybe you should just tell her what you're really thinking when she says that. As my grandmother used to say, "It will either cure it or kill it."

endowed_4_fun replies on 8/7/2006 10:04 pm:
I know us both well enough to know that "cure it" is not a possibility. And "kill it" is not something I desire, either.

ArtisticTwist75 42F
2505 posts
8/7/2006 11:53 pm

You are not alone. I too called off an engagement for a reason very similar to this. We do not remain friends... in fact, I'm very close to the restraining order phase... but I digress... I always tell my mother when she asks me about men that I would rather be alone than with the wrong one. I think that statement is fitting here sweets... and by the way... thanks for listing me in your blog header. I'm touched.


endowed_4_fun replies on 8/8/2006 11:02 am:
I agree with you. I'd much rather be alone than with the wrong person. I've felt more "alone" in a bad relationship than I have when I'm not in one at all.

And thank you for your blog -- I truly enjoy it.

ArtisticTwist75 42F
2505 posts
8/10/2006 10:03 pm

Oh... and by the way... you aren't a fool or a hypocrite... though I thought that was implied... I will reiterate... nope, nope, nope... no fool here.

endowed_4_fun replies on 8/11/2006 12:11 am:
Ha... thank you.

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