And now a (PARODY) word from our sponsor, (Your Local) Cable Company  

electriccompany 54M
104 posts
8/8/2006 11:37 am

Last Read:
8/15/2006 2:49 pm

And now a (PARODY) word from our sponsor, (Your Local) Cable Company


* Soft, soothing, royalty-free, non-descript music plays in the background over scenes of (Your Local) Cable Company workers toiling away at their jobs for you, The Customer*

Hi, I'm Lacy! I'm a technical support specialist here at (Your Local) Cable Company's high-speed internet call center. When you call here, I'm the one who reassures you that we can have your issue resolved in no time at all. I get a lot of customers, like ElectricCompany, who ask first off, "My cable modem doesn't have a signal, but my cable TV is still up! Are there any other reported problems with (Your Local) Cable Company brand high-speed internet in my area?" I make a little, friendly giggle and say, "Let's see!" Then I reach over to an old, broken keyboard I like to keep handy and make some nice, distinct clicky noises to reassure the customer. "NO SIR!! No problems at all in your area. Do you have a router?" I like to make the customer think it's the router's fault, even though that equipment has been connected and always worked properly for years and despite the fact that damn near everybody has wireless routers for the convenience of using a notebook computer. I like to tease the customer along with non-sensical troubleshooting like that. We'll do things like have them disconnect the router and plug the computer in directly. Then I'll have them plug a telegraph key or a toaster into the cable modem. If they refuse to do what I say, they won't get a service call! I think it makes them feel good to jump through my hoops first, troubleshooting their "potentially faulty equipment" when there is clearly a faulty signal from (Your Local) Cable Company! It lets them know just how much I care! I can just imagine the look on ElectricCompany's face when I told him on Friday that we could have a technician out on Wednesday! WHY? he asked? Because, according to my computer (the REAL one), all our techs in his area are all backed up trying to resolve high-speed internet customer issues, MISTER SILLY BLOGGER! I like to think of myself as a mind-fucking, telephonic dominatrix, but sometimes... Actually frequently, getting myself caught in a lie is what I do best!

Hi, I'm John! I'm a line repairman. I've been with (Your Local) Cable Company since it started. It's changed ownership so many times, it's hard to tell if there is still anyone cares about anything but the bottom line here. But I still like to remember the good old days! A lot of people just wanted thier "MTV" back then and the same is true today... Or at least that's what we like to keep thinking, anyway. We keep hearing about "downloading music" and "how important it is for people who work at home to have an internet connection", but surely all that's just a passing fad. We keep focused! Yep, when I'm in a good neighborhood, up a pole, making connections and checking out the poolside MILF's, all I think about (besides the obvious) is how good it will be to sit in the easy-chair this weekend. That NFL game is going to be on as well as that NASCAR race. Just as long as my wife keeps bringing me beer, while she watches that LOGO channel off in the kitchen. (Wonder what that's all about?) Cable TV is good for my kids, too, because they have their own thing. I feel really good that the kids are up in their locked rooms watching MTV with their friends. (Wonder why they keep putting plastic wrap over the smoke detector in their room?) It's good that they have such an interest in music, like I did when I was their age! They said they discovered a new music channel called Spice, but they told me not to bother clicking into it. Said I would never "get it". Heh! Ah well, I guess times are changing after all! That's what my job is really all about. Keeping in touch!... Now, what's on TV?


This ad co-sponsored by (Your Local) Pannini type Bread place, home of free wi-fi. Now you notebook pervs on AdultFriendFinder, please take a corner booth so the rest of our patrons don't have to look at cock-shots while eating breakfast!

rm_SusieQ27 47F
2093 posts
8/14/2006 5:23 am

"Notebook perves"?

Am I one of those?

What are they, anyway?

Luv n stuff {=} Susie {=}


electriccompany 54M

8/14/2006 11:42 am

You know, SusieQ. Notebook pervs are the kind of perverts that carry a notebook computer that is wi-fi capable into a Starbucks, a bookstore or a deli -- some kind of public place. Then they use that store's free wi-fi to surf for porn or click into AdultFriendFinder, with no regard for local laws or the fact that there may be people who don't want to see such things at that moment. I know I don't want to look at a 60 year-old man's cockshots on my screen or anyone else's screen, but especially so when my order of bratwurst and saurkraut is delivered to my table!

Good weekend, Suzers? How was your serving of bratwurst?


rm_SusieQ27 47F
2093 posts
8/14/2006 1:06 pm

My serving was jut fine hun..don't you worry about me.

Luv n stuff {=} Susie {=}


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