Words Fail Me  

earthShiva 60M
270 posts
7/26/2006 8:54 pm

Last Read:
8/27/2006 7:47 pm

Words Fail Me

Over the last three years, I've transformed my life in some pretty huge ways. In addition to deciding to opt out of the East Coast establishment career path that goes along with my hoity-toity education, I've ditched most of my friends and acquaintances, moved across country with no clear plan and re-written my marriage contract to allow room for other people in something that was working pretty darn well to begin with. Most outside AdultFriendFinder, and some here, would think I was a little reckless. I like to believe that I became a person of faith.

What I have learned over the past three years is that I spent most of my life trying to live up to my intellectual gifts. In the process, I often used it as a cruel weapon. I used to take pride in my prowess at winning battles of wits. I've learned better, and it only took me close to half a century to get there. Kindness and a true, loving, unconditional connection with another human being trump all the intellectual one-upmanship in the world.

I have enjoyed the connection with others here in Blogsville, but there is a problem. It's all words, and that leads to the heart only through the mind. I can feel you all out there! The pain, the humor, the fear, the excitement, the love, the desire in your hearts. It courses through me as I sit here like a jumble of radio waves. And that connection is so much more powerful than bantering words back and forth. The words are fun, but they're part of a mask we each wear here. For all the trite back and forth we've enjoyed, there is so much more underneath it all, and it is our for the asking.

So please, take a moment to feel me reaching out to you from my heart. Time and space are not barriers when spirits truly wish to connect. Set aside the words, and just feel me. I'm here.

rm_saintlianna 46F
15466 posts
7/26/2006 9:31 pm

God, isnt that the truth. I have to stay away from here sometimes because I get so emotionally overwhelmed.

earthShiva replies on 7/27/2006 8:46 am:
Sometimes I come here to keep from getting emotionally overwhelmed, too. Just feeling the energy of life around us can get overwhelming.

sexyariesgirl 58F

7/26/2006 9:44 pm

Power To FOK

earthShiva replies on 7/27/2006 8:45 am:

MoonRise9 59M

7/26/2006 9:53 pm


earthShiva replies on 7/27/2006 8:48 am:
I see you've found some of those punctuation marks you've been missing! Hope you don't run into any inconvenient periods.

All levity aside, thanks for all your feelings, mny friend.

rm_gerson42 53M
2419 posts
7/26/2006 10:24 pm

The first part of your blog I know well. Fortunately it only took me 40 years. The second part, also feeling you on. Regular people with regular lives sharing there day to day trevails with unseen people who are also friends. Pretty frickin wild if you ask me.
ger - (Commenting freely and without expectation.)

earthShiva replies on 7/27/2006 8:55 am:
What's most wild is what develops beneath all the words.

Communications seminars I've taken assert that only 20% of face to face comunication is the words said. Body language isn't the entire rest of the story either. There is more to connection than we can put into words, but I am thankful to have those, such as you, whose writing can show how to reach the heart through words, and not just use them to cover it up.

TheRealThing655 49F
9558 posts
7/26/2006 11:53 pm

Very well said, and very kind.
I appreciate the many kind hearted people here.
Thank you, I'm glad you are happy and doing what you want to do to make you that way.

earthShiva replies on 7/27/2006 9:03 am:
I know that I am truly blessed, and there has, for some time, been an absence of ill fortune in my life. I am thankful for this and humbled by it. Hopefully I can keep from being smug about my blessings, but in truth I don't think it is accidental.

I think that happiness is an intention, and a decision that comes from within. The actions of a happy person follow naturally from that intention, rather than a result we achieve as a reward or an outcome from us doing things that make us that way. For many years, I had the formula backwards, as does most of the world. I think that, in conjunction with the understanding that my needs will be met without any need for fear and defense, is the realization that turned my life around.

TheCliticals 36F/F

7/28/2006 1:11 am

That would definetly work on me if you tried to pull me in a pub


moonlightphoenix 46F
6508 posts
8/6/2006 9:28 am

WOW. You've absolutely hit it on the head...or maybe driven a nail into the heart of the matter. Not sure which. Maybe a little of both.

"The words are fun, but they're part of a mask we each wear here."

I still struggle with my mask. I occasionally let it slip a little and spend a few hours really regretting it, but then ultimately, I've found myself in a better place for having done it. I'm always in awe of those who let it slip all the way to their side, come what may.

Blogville blows me away on a constant basis.

Thank you.

earthShiva replies on 8/6/2006 12:06 pm:
Set aside that sense of self-judgment, and perhaps it will be easier to pull that mask away from time to time. If you can see that you grow from letting your mask down, you have everything to gain from doing so!

As much as I regret that we cannot reach a deep and meaningful connection with each and every person here - words, thoughts, feelings, touch, ecstasy - each connection we attain is, in fact, a gift, even if words are its main vehicle. Thank you for sharing some or yours, and yes, I feel you out thre as well!

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