Another of Life's Mysteries...  

earthShiva 61M
270 posts
7/28/2006 10:48 am

Last Read:
4/11/2007 9:18 pm

Another of Life's Mysteries...

Every once in a while, I stumble upon something that reminds me how creative and bizarre our species can be.

I was wandering through the garden section of a local hardware store. My eye was caught by a relatively non-descript, but familiar, bottle on a shelf labelled "Wildlife damage control". It was a 16 ounce bottle of coyote urine concentrate, used to keep deer away from your shrubs.

A store attendant noticed my pause, sidled over and said, "Now that one's two dollars a bottle more, but it's really good stuff. The other brands we have, they just feed 'em regular dog chow. This company uses only meat-fed 'yotes. The deer can smell the difference, plus it's concentrated about 3.5:1, so you only need a little bit. It works out way cheaper."

What a country! I know that label. I bought the very same kind in another garden center 2200 miles away. To my thinking, that means it must be one big-ass pee collection operation. There are roughly 33,000 garden centers in the US, each probably averaging about two gallons of coyote pee on the shelf from this one company alone!

I'm a visual thinker. Are you? Can you visualize this operation? Where and how do they house all these coyotes? Do they use, like, modified milking machines or something?

I am both fascinated and repelled by this whole concept. I have question after question about it - Can you imagine being the engineer hired to design the process? Or the fabricator who made the equipment?

Are the animals happy? They're getting three squares of real meat, after all. (I wonder, do they give them beer?)

I have enough trouble with the idea of pee harvesting on a small scale, but what kind of demented genius ever came up with the idea of turning this concept into a national operation?

Who the hell financed this? It' hard enough to get a friggin' bank to finance a copy shop or a pizza parlor!

What does the guy who runs this place call himself? Piss tycoon? 'Yote wrangler? Entre-pee-neur? Are there any good pick-up lines in it?

If this person were on AdultFriendFinder, would you be drawn by the cleverness or put off by the dementedness?

As repelled as I am by the whole notion, I need to put to this place on my list of things I must see before I die. It's just too weird to ignore.

...however, I think I'll put it somewhere near the bottom of that list.


rm_gerson42 53M
2419 posts
7/28/2006 12:36 pm

Perhaps they just modify old milking plants. Entre-pee-neur, that was good.
ger - (Commenting freely and without expectation.)


CB_2 52F

7/28/2006 1:04 pm

Glad to see someone else has a mind that works like this, earthShiva. The number of times I sit there and think "how the hell did anyone think up that idea?".

It's just about natural curiosity - some of us have it and others just don't. One of my children definitely does (and it can be a bloody pain, though often illuminating), and I suspect the other doesn't. Weird.

Blogito ergo sum.


bipolybabe 56F

7/28/2006 6:34 pm

Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I don't think I'd ever have known such a thing existed but for my obsession with blogging.

And, in answer to your previous blog about the obsessive nature of it. Yes, I believe it is obsessive and hard to quit. There's always one more link that can bring you to an idea or expression that you might never have considered before.

Like a coyote pee production facility!

BiPolyBabe

BPB

Check out my blog Bi-Poly-Babe for more sensual, sexual pleasure!


earthShiva replies on 7/28/2006 6:40 pm:
Glad to know that I can enrich your life so, darlin'!

Hmm. Coyote pee. Burning Man. There's some kind of natchul artistic statement there... (I'd help get to it, but it looks like I'm going to be in St. Maarten at a one-week intimacy workshop. (Pray for me, please. I'm going to be the only man there with 42 women.))

MoonRise9 59M

7/29/2006 10:35 am

Funny post. And yes, the magic of the entreprenurial mind sometimes goes to very strange places. Mine certainly has. . .


rm_corezon 54F
3376 posts
7/30/2006 6:45 am

    Quoting CB_2:
    Glad to see someone else has a mind that works like this, earthShiva. The number of times I sit there and think "how the hell did anyone think up that idea?".

    It's just about natural curiosity - some of us have it and others just don't. One of my children definitely does (and it can be a bloody pain, though often illuminating), and I suspect the other doesn't. Weird.
Yeah, but my next thoughts are long the line of, "why the hell can't I come up with something like that?

Because I am sitting here wondering inane and entertaining thoughts about what makes the world go 'round and pee companies?


earthShiva replies on 7/30/2006 9:19 am:
I know exactly what your problem is, because I largely solved it for myself years ago. You are too invested in sanity and rationality! Once you let go of these, anything and everything is possible.

Just do what seems like fun. Don't worry about not making sense. Look at the news and you'll see that the world has already let go of that notion. If you're having fun, the inspiration will just flow.

travelingintexas had the idea of filling a waterbed with his spunk. What a concep! If anyone could actually pull it off, it would be a Texan on AdultFriendFinder, but I have my doubts. Still, there's so much spunk that goes wasted in this world. Go crazy, and let's see what cums of it. Get back to me. Ditto for unused pussyjuice (or, for that matter, all that vacant/latent pussy.)

There's gott be at least ten ideas in that by Tuesday. Go to it!

TheCliticals 36F/F

8/2/2006 7:15 pm

Please tell us that this is fictional
Sandy


earthShiva replies on 8/2/2006 8:59 pm:
I'm afraid I cannot do that and remain true to you, my dears. (It gets worse, too. If one is truly fanatical about one's shrubs, a company also makes concentrated bobcat piss. Imagine, if you can, trying to collect urine from a 40 LB pissy, undomesticated cat. That job can't possibly pay enough!)

It would be interesting to see if it works in the UK. Would hedgehogs be afraid of the scent of North American predators or would we just have to soak up some pee under the stands at UK football matches?

I hear that there is a falafel stand in Sheridan Park, about two blocks from the White House. Could it be that our homeless are eating cheap pushcart food, pissing on the White House lawn, and triggering an ongoing reaction against Arab people? Frightening concept, and not outside the realm of the plausible.

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