Just a Little Man Bashing *giggle*  

duststormdiva 52F
7253 posts
2/20/2006 8:51 am

Last Read:
6/6/2007 1:53 pm

Just a Little Man Bashing *giggle*

I have not had a lot of time lately to blog. Someone special has been taking up some of my time. I think I'll share today something I got in an email.

DISCLAIMER: THE VIEWS ARE NOT NECESSARILY THOSE OF DUSTSTORMDIVA. SHE DOES, HOWEVER, THINK THEY ARE HILARIOUS!

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, “but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him... legally."

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor. "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes." He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?" Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?"

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, " You see, it's like this: yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; 'cause it's sooooooooooo much cheaper.' So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she. ( I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton! )

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it. And besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that; show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"

THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5 : 00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5 : 00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9 : 00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5 : 00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

Inspirational Thought:

There are countless ways to express love. Be creative!

-- Inneractions by Stephen C. Paul and Gary Max Collins.


PHOTO: My son about three years ago displaying one of his hidden talents. Can-O-Man! *giggle*


DustStormDiva



ticktock500 45M

2/20/2006 9:41 am

someone special, huh??????????????


duststormdiva 52F
6854 posts
2/20/2006 10:18 am

hehe I agree that's why I shared!

DustStormDiva


duststormdiva 52F
6854 posts
2/20/2006 10:27 am

Yes, you know about him. But I guess I need to fill you in on details. We should phone soon.

DustStormDiva


goldinboy2 61M

2/20/2006 5:48 pm

LOL he he he he he.... good ones.


duststormdiva 52F
6854 posts
2/20/2006 7:50 pm

    Quoting goldinboy2:
    LOL he he he he he.... good ones.
I thought so too!

DustStormDiva


Sorceror07 55M

2/20/2006 10:12 pm

"... God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece."

i have to agree with that one for sure!

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


duststormdiva 52F
6854 posts
2/21/2006 12:44 am

    Quoting Sorceror07:
    "... God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece."

    i have to agree with that one for sure!
I liked that one too!

DustStormDiva


campfirecozy 68M

2/21/2006 9:19 am

Priceless! Buwahahahaha!!

('love the perfect breakfast),
Cozy


duststormdiva 52F
6854 posts
2/21/2006 8:46 pm

    Quoting campfirecozy:
    Priceless! Buwahahahaha!!

    ('love the perfect breakfast),
    Cozy
Isn't that one great? LOL

DustStormDiva


MillsShipsGayly 52M

2/23/2006 5:36 am

LOLOLOL Cigs and Tampons .. that cracks me UP!


duststormdiva 52F
6854 posts
2/23/2006 9:24 pm

Yeah, I thought that was hilarious!

DustStormDiva


campfirecozy 68M

2/24/2006 6:46 am

diva,

This one is just too hard to resist. I have included you in [post 247877].

My best to you,
Cozy


duststormdiva 52F
6854 posts
2/27/2006 11:24 pm

    Quoting campfirecozy:
    diva,

    This one is just too hard to resist. I have included you in [post 247877].

    My best to you,
    Cozy
Thanks! I appreciate it!

DustStormDiva


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