Have you ever . . .  

duststormdiva 52F
7253 posts
10/30/2005 10:43 am

Last Read:
12/3/2007 11:12 am

Have you ever . . .

. . . went into a relationship with the agreement that it would be a "friends with benefits" type of thing and it ended up being more?

Did you keep your feelings to yourself and not share them with your friend? How did you tell your friend your heart was getting involved? Were the feelings reciprocated? Did you end up in a happy relationship? Did the relationship end?

I want to know how it ended up for you.


DustStormDiva



digdug41 50M

10/30/2005 2:11 pm

I just recently had to turn away from that type of relationship because it didnt feel right and I just couldnt do it

roaming the cyber streets of blogland


kyplowboy22 63M

10/30/2005 3:03 pm

Nope, never have done that. I want a full relationship or none at all myself. I guess some people can, but I just don't see it working for me. later

kpb


spinmedown 50M
3626 posts
10/30/2005 4:43 pm

I see nothing wrong with FWB's. I just can't seem to make it work for long. I wish I could. It almost sounds like the best of both worlds.

I think I understand the rules and boundaries of both friendships and relationships. Does a FWB lie somewhere between the two? Is it basicly a relationship without the love or monogomy, or is it a friendship with chemistry? I don't know.
Friendships are a kind of relationship.
Intimacy does create powerful feelings.
Maybe deep down we instinctively long for love and monogomy and are dissatisfied with less. For some reason all my FWB situations ended with us going our seperate ways. Maybe it was just too tempting and painful to continue the friendship with all the "What if's? " attached.

Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde


duststormdiva 52F
6854 posts
10/30/2005 5:17 pm

digdug41 at least you followed your feelings and have made choices that best fit you.

DustStormDiva


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
53M
2642 posts
10/30/2005 6:17 pm

I was in a friends with benefits situation and decided I needed more...


rm_bella_ 48F
4030 posts
10/30/2005 7:10 pm

It ended...it takes 2 and sometimes it is only 1.


rm_Elysia2005 44F
412 posts
10/30/2005 7:30 pm

Oh gosh... I'm more or less in one now. We met here, and he knows I play with others... and I know he plays with others, plus he's married, so it's not like either one of us is in a position to be jealous or possessive. Still... we've both pretty much made it obvious, that we have real, serious feelings for one another. But also that I'm not in a position to make promises until I sort a few things out, and he's not about to leave his wife and his family, at least not any time soon. For now, we just have to settle for the time we can squeeze in together, and for knowing that we do love each other dearly... and that, most likely, is all it will ever be...


slidein2meplz 63F
1994 posts
10/31/2005 1:11 am

Yes Dust I have... but I just kept it to myself...and didn't let it show. No, I don't believe they were reciprocated...and we just drifted apart. It felt weird at first for me...because I did have hopeful feelings of more...but then after time, it went away.

~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~


duststormdiva 52F
6854 posts
10/31/2005 6:22 am

slidein2meplz Do you think that was the best thing that could have happened? Do you ever wonder how it would have ended up had you told him?

DustStormDiva


duststormdiva 52F
6854 posts
10/31/2005 6:38 am

BigGirlzRSweet I used to have a tendency to fall very easily, but in the past several years, the thought of falling in love has been the furthest from my mind. I went from one extreme to another. A lover of mine asked me the other day if I ever thought I'd get married again. I told him I didn't know. I am not sure I am ready to let anyone in my heart again.

DustStormDiva


duststormdiva 52F
6854 posts
10/31/2005 2:26 pm

kyplowboy22 to each their own. One must do whatever is necessary to be happy.

DustStormDiva


duststormdiva 52F
6854 posts
10/31/2005 2:29 pm

mzhunyhole I have avoided it, but can see where it can happen.

DustStormDiva


duststormdiva 52F
6854 posts
10/31/2005 2:38 pm

spinmedown for me friends with benefits . . .

. . . two willing adults who want to have sexual fun with no string attached.

. . . they can set the rules whether they are monogamous with each other.

. . . two adults who have the utmost respect for each other and do what they need to do to satisfy each other.

. . . chemistry must be there.

You said, "Maybe deep down we instinctively long for love and monogomy and are dissatisfied with less." yes I believe this to be true, but some of us choose to ignore that instinct because of other reasons, whether building a career, going to school, avoiding getting hurt.

Thanks for responding

DustStormDiva


duststormdiva 52F
6854 posts
10/31/2005 2:40 pm

Elysia2005 that's a hard decision to make. At least you two know what's going on. Do you two live in the same town? How long have you been seeing each other?

DustStormDiva


duststormdiva 52F
6854 posts
10/31/2005 2:43 pm

Frnds4Play I did it when I was younger, just didn't know I was doing it. I was niave. Good luck with you two! Do you think it will ever be more?

DustStormDiva


duststormdiva 52F
6854 posts
10/31/2005 2:49 pm

Frnds4Play thanks for the compliment about the photo.

DustStormDiva


duststormdiva 52F
6854 posts
10/31/2005 2:50 pm

Sizzle364 did you make it more with that person, or did you move on?

DustStormDiva


duststormdiva 52F
6854 posts
10/31/2005 2:51 pm

bella_ that comment can be true for so many situations.

DustStormDiva


slidein2meplz 63F
1994 posts
10/31/2005 5:16 pm

My friend with benefit was a co-worker who saw me on here...I saw him...actually it was his name that caught my attention, because it's a rather unuasual name.

He finally messaged me and said.."do we work together...Bob". LOL... and so I replied back that yes we do indeed work together....all though not in the same building and that I wondered if that was him"...anyway... we talked a bit...went and had lunch...talked some more... and then about a week or so after we hooked up as FWB...but.. during this time..his mother was very ill...dying and he would call me up...normally very late at night and we would talk, for hours and hours... and this went on for close to 7 months... we saw each other pretty often...at times it didn't seem like FWB, it seemed closer...
Plus we had some awesome lunch time sex in the desert...lol... lot's of fun... one day it was raining really hard..and I was sorta hopin we get stuck out there...lol.
Anyway, after his mom passed away... he left the company...and that was that...no good byes or anything...well, I take it back, he did come up to my office about 2-3 weeks before he quit and said he might be quitting and moving up to PHX to be closer to his son... and that's when it hit me that I felt more.

I did tell him I was sad to see him leave..and that I had hoped to see if more could come of things. He hugged me..gave me a very nice kiss...but that was all...no verbal response back. So... that's been over a year now...and I'm fine with it... but I do think about him from time to time. I think it ended up ok...I don't regret it.

~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~


duststormdiva 52F
6854 posts
10/31/2005 8:39 pm

slidein2meplz too bad you could not have kept in touch. Phoenix and Tucson are not too far apart.

DustStormDiva


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