The downside(s) of dating dublos..  

dublos 52M  
82 posts
2/28/2005 4:49 pm

Last Read:
2/17/2008 11:32 am

The downside(s) of dating dublos..


Well, I don't know if these are truly bad, or just non standard enough that it's raised an eyebrow in the past... So lets just get them out in the open so potential wink senders can be as fully informed as possible.

I never stay the night, and if my date comes to my place I walk them to their car and send them home at the end of the night.
It's a peculiarity of mine. I can't sleep with someone else sharing my bed. I'll sleep fitfully, toss, turn and just be pretty unhappy by morning. So, I just decided it's easier to NOT have that be an issue and sleep alone in my own bed. (Well, ok, my cats share the bed but they can be shifted around without too much grousing.)

I regularly spend time with my future former We are indeed on the path toward divorce, but it's not going to happen any time soon. In the mean time we're still good friends and so Sunday afternoon/Evening we get together, have dinner together and usually play video games. Otherwise we vegetate an watch TV.

I'm an intovert This one occasionally surprises people. OK, I'm not shy, shy would be rather different. I'm quite able to function in social situations and often enjoy them. But I don't put myself into crowded social situations often. I'm much happier one on one. I like to Dance so I do get out occasionally but that is often then balanced by several days of not going anywhere and not even chatting online for a while so I can recharge my batteries with "me time".

I'm a concent freak that creates a number of quirks. It's for this reason that the first time I'm intimate with someone we gotta be sober. I've bent that rule a few times, but not very often. First kisses, I don't worry so much about that. This is of course the main reason I like to meet at coffee shops instead of bars.
This is also one of those things that limits the role play I can get into until pretty deep trust is established. Naughty school girl and her professor, I can deal with that, but cop/prisoner, burgler/sleeping damsel sort of thing.. not so much.

rm_Chaise1971 46F
1 post
6/6/2005 4:15 pm

I can completely understand not being able to sleep next to someone all night. I tend to sleep best in my bed, alone, and prefer it that way most of the time. I can also understand the introvert part.... although my friends believe me to be the complete opposite as I usually have no problem talking to complete strangers and usually having a pretty decent conversation. And I think the last section you were trying to get across the idea of "consent".... giving permission right? Permission under a drunken stupor - not so much fun. I'd like my partner (as well as myself) to remember how much fun we had the night before. But I think consent can be both in verbal communication as well as non verbal..... so I hope you don't actually utter the words "May I kiss you".... which I suppose to some is considered romantic or gentlemanly, but it just seems so cheesy to me. Almost a turn off.

The only thing that sticks out that I'd see as a potential area for utter disaster - spending time with the future former? My god man, why? Isn't there a reason that person is an ex? And you're headed towards divorce but no time soon? Hello? Still married, spend time with the wife... yet... um....well... you're still married.


dublos 52M  
129 posts
6/6/2005 5:44 pm

LOL.. yes, I am indeed still married. And the reason that my future former is to be an Ex would be because the flames have died, narry a spark to be found. Trips to two different couples therapists led to the conclusion that we're good friends but that's about all we're likely to be from here on out. No relapses or booty calls because that attraction has jsut gone poof.

And no.. I don't actually utter the words "May I kiss you", if I know neither of us is in a chemically altered state I'm more than willing to go on body language and of course "No" means "No" so if I miss read body language then I rely on the fact my partner is going to say something.


kissablemeinmn 49F

6/11/2005 7:49 am

Ok - how do you manage to be able to move the cats around without too much grousing? You share that secret with me and I'll owe you for life!

Kisses,
Miranda


dublos 52M  
129 posts
6/16/2005 7:19 pm

The usual.. repedative training. When it's people time the cats need to give the people a little more room. Pick cat up, put cat on floor.. wait 10 seconds for cat to leap up to join you again, repeat.

They also learn that between round cuddling time is usually ok for them to come get cuddles too.


kissablemeinmn 49F

6/17/2005 11:20 am

You need to talk to my cats. That hasn't worked for me yet

Kisses,
Miranda


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