The lie  

dryspellforme 55M
5 posts
9/12/2006 1:23 pm

Last Read:
11/4/2006 12:46 pm

The lie

The first lie - "I will be out with friends, experimenting with new food during a happy hour."

That's what I told her, my wife, when I was really meeting someone from here. Only for coffee at first. Then for dinner. Then for another dinner. Then for a meeting at a motel, condoms in tow. A short evening meeting lasting a few hours.

The second lie - "Have I told you about this?" I asked the new friend, trying to explain away my ring. She bought it and I thought I would have some harmless fun. Just a few get togethers for dinner or to talk about stuff. I never really believed it would go further and knew I would chicken out before anything physical happened.

I didn't chicken out.

The third lie - "I have to go out of town for a conference." I went out of town. For a conference. Of two. To a resort.

The lies since have been too numerous to count.

Then, one day, the lying stopped. I was confronted by my wife after telling the last lie, that I would be out all night with a nature group. I confessed, told her would I would be. A weight was lifted from my shoulders.

I knew the day would come and had thought long and hard about what I really wanted. When asked, I replied "Both. I want both. Both make me happy, in different ways. Both bring excitement to my life. Both is what I want."

Both is what I have, for the moment. I know I will probably end up with neither for that is what I deserve. My lies have destroyed trust, which will never be regained.

Maybe I want neither. Maybe I want to live alone for the rest of my days, puttering around a small apartment, happy with my little toys and my solitude.

Time will tell how this will work out, but for now I have both.

rm_wetfingeraz 55F
3012 posts
9/13/2006 7:00 pm

Did you ever stop to ask yourself how you would feel if your wife had done that to you?

dryspellforme 55M

9/14/2006 10:10 am

    Quoting rm_wetfingeraz:
    Did you ever stop to ask yourself how you would feel if your wife had done that to you?
Every single day, before, during and after the lies and the affair. If she found someone who made her happy I would welcome it, be happy for her.

Yeah, I could be blowing smoke and saying what I want to hear but I have given this lots and lots of thought and I think being happy is most important for all the people I love, whether I am included in that happiness or not.

It's funny, the way I think because I think the only thing wrong with the whole situation is that I lied and kept lying instead of telling everyone up front the whole story. Maybe I'm delusional; maybe I'm the worst son of a bitch that ever lived; maybe I'm just like every other guy on this planet with the exception that I came clean and actually want everyone to be happy.

rm_wetfingeraz 55F
3012 posts
9/14/2006 4:05 pm

Or maybe you were just scared to hurt and disappoint the ones that you love?

Become a member to create a blog