The basics  

dragonlvrbzn 47M
1 posts
12/8/2005 3:26 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The basics

Well, it’s been an interesting past couple of months. From Fort Lauderdale where I went through a couple hurricanes, including Wilma where I didn’t have power for 11 days (just a couple of days before I moved) and then drove from Florida to Montana. In Montana, a couple of days after I arrived, we had snow, below zero temperatures, and high winds…..six of one/half dozen of another LOL Currently I am learning the family bail bond business and after a couple of months will be opening a new branch in Bozeman. I’m staying in Cut Bank until mid-January to help my folks get things caught up from the past couple of months when they both haven’t been feeling well. I used to live in Montana from ’93 to ’96 and it’s interesting being back after almost 10 years of being in bigger cities (Seattle from ’96 to ’04 and Fort Lauderdale from beginning of ’04 to November ’05). It will be an adjustment (both culture and temperature-wise) but I am enjoying it so far, although the lack of easy booty-calls is a little bit frustrating…..so I’m looking for friends/friendly fun in the Cut Bank area My stress levels have dropped considerably and I am continuing to handle my stress in better ways, am more confident, and am actually starting to deal with life instead of just hiding from it. And now that I am starting to deal with life I am realizing how much my perceptions truly color and taint how I deal with life and especially people. So now I am in a constant quest to look at my perceptions and HOW LIFE IS (according to me and the world) and question the validity of those perceptions. Yet I also have this tendency to go into this all or nothing routine and I have to keep reminding myself to look for balance rather than totality. My best friend and I had a talk a couple of months ago and we looked into why I am still single since he knows I am a great guy with a lot to offer (his words, not mine ). My answer was because I was picky, but after we both began picking apart the pickiness it came down to fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of opening up to another person, fear of being hurt again, fear of not knowing how to go on an actual date that did not end up in sex, fear, fear, yada, yada. --There is nothing to fear but fear itself.-- Words to remember. I guess what I am searching for are friends to help in the search for experiencing life in ways unimaginable and wondrous as well as special men to bond with emotionally and physically that remind me that fear is just a word we created for a sensation that keeps us safe, sound and stagnant and with luck one of those friendships will develop into something much deeper.


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