The Foundation is Ruining My Life  

docdirk 49M
5418 posts
3/21/2006 8:50 pm

Last Read:
3/28/2006 5:01 pm

The Foundation is Ruining My Life

After a week of deep introspection, I now feel that it is incumbent upon me to expose the ugly underbelly of The champagnechaser Foundation. While those who run The Foundation - from the CEO down - may appear to be altruistic in their motives; the truth is that The Foundation destroys lives.

Take me for example.

For 30-something years, I led a happy (ne' naive) existence. I fit comfortably into my role as Lazy, Shiftless, Ne'er-do-well. I was satisfied with my limited scope of vision and my minuscule knowledge base. Ignorance became me, and I it. The seas lay out smoothly before me and worry was an unknown entity.

Then came my dark experience with The Foundation. My entire outlook on life has been turned upside down. All that I knew, or thought I knew, has been called into question. I have been called into question.

Following are just a few of the ugly truths that now haunt my life. Truths that became known to me only after my indoctrination by The Foundation. Truths that now rock the very foundation of life as I know it:

... The "on" button on the remote also turns the TV "off."

... Unfinished portions of a six-pack do not go bad if they are not consumed immediately after the first bottle.

... Alarm clocks actually have alarms.

... Not all vegetables are bad if they turn green.

... Pizza does not represent the four food groups.

... There are four food groups.

... Boxer shorts and sweat socks do not qualify as "casual wear."

And perhaps the singularly most sinister bit of information that I have ever been forced to endure:

Sexual encounters lasting over one minute do not violate Connecticut blue laws!!!

My life is in shambles. My brittle grasp on reality is beginning to slip. My future, uncertain, my past, unclear. I am a wreck. A whimpering pup curled in fetal position. And I have only The Foundation to blame. I can only pray to God that you do not let this happen to you...

... Well, that and for the strength to be able to watch the games this weekend!

Ah, Its you again, Your Angel Feathers and your Blood Stains...

NSAAddict 43F

3/21/2006 9:09 pm

Come back to the fold dear one, you will not be punished for going astray. We're here to help you. Don't you remember our conversation when I was the one in doubt, you told me:

"I'm an ordinary man NSA, meat and potatoes, I live in the real world. I'm not a big believer in magic. But this place is different. It's special. The others don't want to talk about it because it scares them. But we all know it. We all feel it. Is your white rabbit a hallucination? Probably. But what if everything that happened here, happened for a reason?"

Now you are confused, we understand that. But you believe in the island and the foundation, that will never change. These truths that torment you so, are mere hallucinations, the only truth that you have to hold onto is that you do believe... the foundation is the way...


jadedbabe78 107F

3/21/2006 9:26 pm

Sexual encounters lasting over one minute do not violate Connecticut blue laws

Ahhh crap, I may want to rethink moving there then. I was depending on that being a law .


Sorceror07 55M

3/21/2006 10:45 pm

sorry doc... once you are in, you can never get out! now... back to work you!

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...

rm_metalmama69 43F
3878 posts
3/22/2006 4:22 am

Doc....I can help! And maybe you can help me too

champagnechaser 42F
1639 posts
3/22/2006 5:11 am

Doc, I am sorry you are having doubts. Fight it bro!

Remember that within you is a seed planted in the darkness. Only through the foundation, that seed will sprout, trusting that it has the ability to reach into the light.

The foundation is the only way, the only truth and the only light in the dismal darkness.

Kaliedascope61 43M
4084 posts
3/22/2006 8:54 am

You have much to learn! the corruption will take many twists and turns. You will learn to drink beer in a speedo, while putting an ashtray on your lovers head while you smoke!

Ah the devious things you must be taught.

docdirk 49M

3/22/2006 8:12 pm

NSA - NO!!! Not the numbers. The numbers! The Numbers!! THE NUMBERS!!!!!

jadedbabe78 - If I've said anything to keep you away from our beautiful little hamlet, I'll never forgive myself! I'll turn myself over to The Foundation and surrender completely!

Sorceror07 - I guees that means I can't count on you lending me your extra sheets to tie together for climbing out my window? Bastard!

Metalmama - My savior!!! Smuggle me out of here and I'll do anything you ask!!!

CC - No!!! No more lies. Must... not... listen... must... not..............................

amberabercrombie - You don't have to move, but damn, we'd love for ya to visit!!!

Kaliedascope61 - No! You're one of them!!! They've gotten to you man! Dammit! Dammit all!!

Ah, Its you again, Your Angel Feathers and your Blood Stains...

Sorceror07 55M

3/22/2006 10:33 pm

Sorceror07 - I guees that means I can't count on you lending me your extra sheets to tie together for climbing out my window? Bastard!

sorry, all my sheets are soiled atm.... you'd slip your grip and fall to your death for sure!

look on the bright side bro... it's a dirty job and someone's gotta do it eh? lol!

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...

kyplowboy22 63M

3/23/2006 3:55 am

rofl...what predicuments we often find ourselves in, eh?


pragmaticCTcpl 63M/51F

3/23/2006 8:25 am

SORRY !! You have been Tagged !!!!!

See 281616

absolutelynormal 57F
6563 posts
3/23/2006 5:48 pm

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was here to tag YOU! I have already posted that I tagged you, shit. I'm gonna go pout now, cause everyone, with the exception of one person that I chose has already been tagged!

SexJuggernaut71 46M
34 posts
3/27/2006 6:01 pm

Back from the ceremony huh? does your ass hurt? i was thinking of pledging myself, but i want to know how it went first. you know too much of that and you may lose feeling in your tv remote thumb.

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