docdirk 49M
5418 posts
4/7/2006 6:38 pm

Last Read:
7/1/2006 5:54 pm


A couple of blogs ago, I went a bit ga-ga. No, not the panties entry. (Hmmm, panties entry? Sounds like fun!) No, the panties thing was as close to actual sex as I'm getting.

Instead, I'm speaking of my little existentialist rant. Many of you read it and, while scratching your heads, wondered if there was something amiss in JJ's life. Something troubling the poor lad. Something... icky.

Well, the truth is, there is a problem. A big one. A problem that I thought I could handle alone. A problem that I chose to hide from the world. A problem that I now know that I can't control myself. And that problem is...

(Dramatic Pause)

... My freaking refrigerator light doesn't come on when the door opens!!! Well, it does, about 50% of the time. And it's not the bulb. I've replaced that. It's either the little switchy thingy, or the little screw in thingy the bulb goes into. (Sorry for the technical jargon.)

Have you ever lived through this? Picture this: tight, tense ballgame on TV. Thirty second time out. Commercial. Empty beer. You run to the fridge for a quick refill and a snack. You've got the timing down to make it back to your chair with your bounty in hand just as the commercial ends. But no!!!! The fridge fucks you. No light. You can't find the beer. You grab an egg instead of a chicken leg. You hurt your hand smacking at the switchy thing, praying the light comes on. Life ceases to make sense. God has spat upon you. The game is back on and you can't see the TV. Ahhhhh....

Now you know. I'm sorry to have soiled your day with this. But I had to come clean. The pressure was unbearable.

I'm off to eat. Maybe.

Ah, Its you again, Your Angel Feathers and your Blood Stains...

mycin62 55F

4/7/2006 8:24 pm

Doc, you're killing me here. Get a new door for your fridge, already!

docdirk replies on 4/7/2006 11:25 pm:
Get a new door? What, and let the fridge win? I am still a man, remember?

MWWwantsmore 52F

4/7/2006 8:46 pm

LOL oh the hell you must be going through! You poor thing!

docdirk replies on 4/7/2006 11:26 pm:
I have a feeling that I'm going to need to be comforted... in many, many ways!

sexymamma662003 32F

4/7/2006 9:18 pm

damn that is a seriouse problem. i am glad i dont have that problem or i probolly would have killed the damn fridge by now. my problem is with that damn tv remote. i swear the thing has legs that i dont know about and moves it self around my house. i find it in the damndiest places.


docdirk replies on 4/7/2006 11:27 pm:
I fear that the remotes of the world are silently plotting against us, driving us insane slowly but surely. There is a plot. I'm certain of that!

Thanks for popping in!

rm_cant_be_true 39M

4/7/2006 10:20 pm

Man... that's rough... Just try and remember the good times you had with the fridge light, when it use to work for you all the time... I know it's hard to move on during this time of grief... Big hug man, stay strong and keep hope alive.

docdirk replies on 4/7/2006 11:29 pm:
Thanks for the support, bro. It ain't easy. About the only time I wasn't in the dark was when the fridge door was opened. And now.. now...

... I just can't!

Sorceror07 55M

4/7/2006 10:23 pm

only a guy can TRUELY understand this, bro! i feel your pain!

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...

docdirk replies on 4/7/2006 11:29 pm:
Preach it, brother! A man's work is never done!!

mangomamiCT 43F

4/7/2006 11:32 pm

You need help ..........

docdirk replies on 4/8/2006 12:02 pm:
You have no idea!

jadedbabe78 107F

4/8/2006 12:20 am

Holy hell!! You poor, dear soul! My deepest sympathies for you and your fridge ....


docdirk replies on 4/8/2006 12:03 pm:
Your words mean more than I can say. Inspiration. Pure inspiration!

rm_metalmama69 43F
3878 posts
4/8/2006 5:40 am

I can fix that for you if you like.......

docdirk replies on 4/8/2006 12:04 pm:
You probably could. Hell, you could probably make anything do what you want!

Kaliedascope61 43M
4084 posts
4/8/2006 6:22 am

Its like the blind leading the naked! You make want to buy a cooler!

docdirk replies on 4/8/2006 12:05 pm:
Careful my friend, coolers have hellacious pitfalls all their own!

GoddessOfTheDawn 106F
11240 posts
4/8/2006 6:39 am

~ nodz ~ in agreement with metalmama....

~angelic smile~

docdirk replies on 4/8/2006 12:07 pm:
Both my fridge and myself would be honored to submit to your healing powers!

champagnechaser 42F
1639 posts
4/8/2006 7:26 am

Well, at least you have your health!

docdirk replies on 4/8/2006 12:07 pm:
LMFAO!!!! Touche!


4/8/2006 8:38 am

My God and you have still been here for all of us! You are a saint! {=}

just a squirrel trying to get a nut

docdirk replies on 4/8/2006 12:10 pm:
Saint? No. Just a remarkably caring, understanding, sympathetic, loving man with incredible good looks and unparalleled bedroom skills!

(Damn, I hate it when dreams like that end!)

SilkenKiera 39F  

4/8/2006 6:41 pm

You FUCKING crack me up! I was griping the edge of my seat getting already to come up with some poingiont right on advice and you hit me with a lightbulb problem!!!

Crazy boy. Just for that, I'm not going to tell you how to fix your friggin fridge! And I do know how!!

I'll never tell!


docdirk replies on 4/9/2006 7:03 pm:
Just for that, I'm not going to tell you how to fix your friggin fridge! And I do know how!!

Oh, you are cold, Kiera. Cold!

NSAAddict 43F

4/9/2006 7:42 am

LMAO! So silly

docdirk replies on 4/9/2006 7:06 pm:
Sure, laugh at my pain. Laugh it up. Real nice!

SexyRycheBabe 46F
820 posts
4/13/2006 2:12 pm

Look at it like this: There are people in this world that even today as I sit and write my comment to you don't even have refrigerators -- working light or not.

Does that help put it into perspective? I realize, this is an old post and hopefully you're over it by now, but the idea that we could live w/o one made me post anyway.

docdirk replies on 4/13/2006 4:54 pm:
Nah, I'm a selfish, uncaring bastard... I want my fridge and I want it 100%!!!!!

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