Before the Jading  

docdirk 48M
5418 posts
8/4/2006 7:52 pm

Last Read:
5/4/2007 10:19 pm

Before the Jading

God I love you guys!!!!

The first unforced smile I had all day came about 30 seconds after I logged on here. You guys are gonna make me actually like people again... someday... maybe...

The situation at work is far less about the what as to the who. I run the company for which I work alongside of one of the women in question. The future success of our livelihood depends on our working together. But, even more than that, I've known her off and on for over ten years. She is, without a doubt, one of my most favorite souls on earth. She has a solid gold heart wrapped in a beautiful spirit. I care much for her.

Which is why what was said yesterday bothered me so. She is just about the last person on earth I would have anticipated being hurt by.

I thought I had changed my attitude for the better today. I laughed and joked with everyone... except for her it appears. My cold shoulder seemed to have retained its chill. And she noticed. My heart nearly broke as she approached me after work, eyes wide as a scolded puppy, and pleaded with me to tell her what she did wrong. Being the coward I am, I assured her she had done nothing wrong. She wouldn't buy it, but I refused to own up to my hurt. I wanted to yell at her and hug her at the same time. Finally, she gave up and asked simply; "Friends." "Of course," I replied.

Friends. We are. She is. As are all of you. At least from where I sit. And I need to thank you for that now before I take that also for granted.

Ah, Its you again, Your Angel Feathers and your Blood Stains...

mycin62 55F

8/4/2006 10:18 pm

Maybe you should tell her why you're so upset. She honestly doesn't know. If it was me, I'd want to know. If you feel like this is getting in the way of your friendship, then definatley tell her.

I still LOVE that bald head

docdirk replies on 8/8/2006 5:50 pm:
Glad you still love it shiny... cause that's the way it's gonna stay!!!

MWWwantmore 52F

8/5/2006 8:45 am

I agree with Cyn, I think you should let her know whats bothering you. If you are friends like you say she will understand.

And yes we are all friends here

I'll have a cafe, mocha, vodka, valium latte to go please!

Good girls go to heaven.....bad girls go down!!

docdirk replies on 8/8/2006 5:52 pm:
Friends... you mean... with benefits???


8/5/2006 7:47 pm

If you care about her, then tell her the truth.

docdirk replies on 8/8/2006 5:54 pm:
Thank you for stopping by and offering your opinion... I really appreciate the input as I am comletely inept when it comes to making my own decisions most of the time!

Then again, I completely lack the balls to be open about my feelings too - so generally, I just drive myself nuts!!

pragmaticCTcpl 62M/51F

8/6/2006 7:42 am

I obviously care because my comment on your previous post, posted twice...DOH..!

And no.....I'm NOT waiting to stab you in the back...I HAVE your back..!

docdirk replies on 8/8/2006 5:57 pm:
C'mon now, those sharp knives must be hiding in there somewhere!!!

Hampmeister 58M

8/6/2006 8:37 am

My favorite contemporary sci-fi author says tact is an agreement between two people to be full of shit with one another. Another favorite author says that a true friend is one to whom you can say anything you damn well please, knowing that it will all get straightened out in the end. I urge you to tell her -- gently if possible, yelling if not, but tell her. If she is a true friend, it may get dicey but in the end it will be settled and your friendship will be the better for it. It mayhelp if you start with something like, "I need to tell you this and there are strong feelings involved, so I may yell or get heated, and I hope you understand."


docdirk replies on 8/8/2006 6:00 pm:
Thank you for your input, James. I've practiced speeches very similar to the one you outlined here. Of course, pulling the trigger is another story. I know I should bring it up and help the process of moving forward, but doing the mature thing is a foreign concept to me. And now she's away on vacation. Oh well, one never knows what opportunities still await for the speech to be unvailed!


8/6/2006 6:54 pm

Ya know even when you do your best to be friends with someone, sometimes we fail as human beings to always live up to "the perfect friend" She probably does have a heart of gold and maybe it was just that she was so comfortable around you that it truly was an over site and not meant to hurt you. Probably from what you said here, it would hurt her heart if she only knew how her comments affected you. I am sure I have made others feel this way and there are times I myself have felt like dayum...what am I, chopped liver.

(((hugs))) you know you are one sexy CT boy and don't ya go growin no hair on that sexy head now ya hear

just a squirrel trying to get a nut

docdirk replies on 8/8/2006 6:02 pm:
Thanks MO!!! You rock it the most-est!!!

And don't worry about lil ole me growin any hair back. I've lost the instruction manual!!!

NSAAddict 43F

8/8/2006 4:00 pm

Am I on the wrong blog? I could swear I clicked on DocDirk but the love that's flowing... seems soooo foreign J/K... I'm glad you found something to make you smile here and that you're feeling a bit better about the situation with your friend. I'm with everyone else, she should know what it is that hurt you, I'm sure it will bring you both some closure and repair any residual damage. Hugs to you

docdirk replies on 8/8/2006 6:04 pm:

That better?

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