And I Watched, Part III  

docdirk 49M
5418 posts
12/24/2005 6:03 pm

Last Read:
3/13/2010 10:06 pm

And I Watched, Part III

Finally, the end of this freaking thing. Looking back, I see that it would have read better as a single post. However, I seem to be getting late, onsetting ADD, and can not focus on too many of those damn words in one sitting any more! (lol)

And I watched as he repeated the graduation process at the next level amid a sea of determined and motivated worker bees. And though I was further away and could not clearly hear his name, I saw him rise, approach, receive and sit again. I watched for his eyes to seek mine, but I could not see them. Did they search? Did he see me, far away in a distance spreading wider like space itself? Did he bother to look? Care to look? I watched, but I could not tell.

And I watched as he fell in love for the first time, for the last time. I watched as he stood at the altar and promised “I will” to a God neither of us could see. And I watched as he led them away to a life that would include even less of me. And I watched as my child bore his children and raised them to do as I did, as I would have done, as I watched. And I watched him become a man, the kind of man I would never be. A good man, an honest man, a man of commitment and honor. I watched him breathe life into ideals and virtues that I would never know until the day I died.

I watched as she walked away from me for the last time, never again mentioning the child that she was so excited for. I watched as that boy, that man, that dream was conceived, raised and buried in the very same instant that will haunt me for as many lifetimes as I am forced to suffer through. And I watched, as I grew old, bitter and hollow. And I watched as the life I had, the life I could have given, slowly drained from me like blood from a slit wrist. And I watched. And I watched. For it is all I have ever done.

© Copyright JJW 2001

Ah, Its you again, Your Angel Feathers and your Blood Stains...

SexyRycheBabe 46F
820 posts
12/24/2005 7:46 pm

You finally did it!!!!! Thanks. That's really good. Post it anyway as one big post. That way you'll have time to send me email. LOL

Happy holidays. May you be merry and bright!

SilkenKiera 39F  

12/25/2005 12:02 pm

Your so cool doc. Merry Christmas from a fellow Delaware dweller.

P.S. They closed the Stone Balloon on Main Street, there was a three day goodbye party. Whaaaa, my college hang out gone!

docdirk 49M

12/25/2005 11:24 pm

I want to thank those of you who put up with this nonsense and actually read this steaming pile of... whatever, and were kind enough to respond. Special thanks to SRB, SilkenKiera and Mr. KPB. I respect your opinions and thank you for sharing them with me!

Happy Holidays to all!

Ah, Its you again, Your Angel Feathers and your Blood Stains...

kyplowboy22 63M

12/26/2005 7:11 am

Awesome stuff. I fear it is not fiction and mourn your loss with you. We are the results of the experiences we have and the decisions we have made. You truelly reap what you sew. Just never lose sight of the fact that although the crops of some decisions fail, a new crop is going into the ground with every breath you take. Take the hard, bitter lessons learned from past poor yielding crops and let them improve the performance of your future is the best we can all hope for, beau. Later


duststormdiva 52F
6854 posts
12/26/2005 3:16 pm

WOW! Chills ran over my body as I read this last part. It was a work of art, and some works of art comes in pieces. I like how you separated it. Thanks for bringing this to us.


docdirk 49M

12/26/2005 7:17 pm

You are far, far too kind, duststormdiva. I am blushing brighter than Rudolph's nose. Truth be told, I can barely take credit for this piece. More than ever before or since, I was simply a vessel through which the words appeared. I know how pretentious that sounds, but alas, it is the truth.

BTW, kpb, as with all fiction, there are elements of truth here. There is black and there is white, but as with all things, the shades of gray hold the most mystery.

Ah, Its you again, Your Angel Feathers and your Blood Stains...

tillerbabe 57F

12/27/2005 12:32 am

Beautiful....great writing! I'll be back..

Luvwetcunt1000 50M
1258 posts
12/27/2005 1:00 am

Thank you for posting this. It's good.

I learned a little from you today. I'm a parent and so often I feel the pain and regret of my mistakes.

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