Picking Fly Shit Out Of Pepper!  

dfw_femme_fatale 47F
412 posts
7/1/2005 2:29 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Picking Fly Shit Out Of Pepper!

I’ve spent the majority of my final workday before a 3-day weekend picking fly shit out of pepper! Fun Fun! As they say, that’s why I earn the little bucks!

That phrase also describes the process I’ve used to decide a more personal matter. It seems, as I’ve gotten older, the criteria I use to decide what to do has changed. In my twenties when presented with an opportunity (sexual or otherwise) here’s what weighed in my decision:
Did it sound fun?
Who else was going to be there, and were they male and cute?
Did I want to do it?

These days, decisions (sexual or otherwise) require dragging out my debate club handbook from high school, the current version of Roberts Rules of Order, a list of what I know to be right and wrong, a copy of my 3-year-plan, and a list of my most imminent personal/professional goals.

Here’s what’s going on. I’ve been in communication with a male member of AdultFriendFinder. He’s done everything right in all his communications. He’s been polite, respectful, nice, funny, and engaging. And even though he is significantly younger than I am this alone would not keep me from meeting him and/or more.

So you ask, why don’t you go ahead and meet him? Because he has a girlfriend, but is quick to point out that they are not exclusive, and that they haven’t had sex in over a month.

If you’ve read past blogs and profiles, then you know that for many, many years my best friends have been male. What this means is that I’ve been privy to all the stories, outright lies, justifications, and minor and major distortions of the truth that males have told to get in some girls’ pants. So, anytime someone uses the terms “girlfriend” and “not exclusive” in the same sentence my first reaction is to say, “Yeah, I’ve heard that one before.” Does that mean I’m bitter, and jaded? Is this the horrible
“baggage” people always say they don’t want in a relationship?

I am not saying he is misrepresenting his situation. But, guys and girls have very different views of what determines if they are, or not exclusive. His view is that they are not exclusive because they’ve not had the talk about being exclusive. Short of talking to the girlfriend, is there any way that he can “prove” to me that they aren’t exclusive? And why would I require such proof to engage in something that has no long term potential. And if something doesn’t fit into my 3-year-plan, or get me closer to an imminent goal, then why even spend any time considering it. What I want to do, and does it sound fun hardly have weight in my decision-making process anymore. When did everything get so damned complicated? I answer myself by saying “nothing is complicated, I just make it that way.” Which solves the matter just about as much as it did back when my mom used to say “because I said so!”

On the upside, in just a few more hours I will be starting my 3-day weekend. I’m headed to a place where my cell phone won’t work, no computer, and a landline which isn’t even cordless! I’m taking moisturizer, my new red diary (I chose red because I plan on recording some racy activities), and my synonym finder.

Ya’ll have a great weekend!

TheDodger8 46M

7/1/2005 3:50 pm

Hmm... I think "girlfriend" implies some sort of exclusive arrangement. Otherwise it would be..well I am dating this other girl. Maybe I am way off, but when I have a girlfriend..she is exclusive....otherwise we are just dating, or seeing each other.

As for it being complicated...hmmm... well I am here to have fun, not find a sole mate...but who knows, maybe I will just fall hard for someone I meet here. I say go for the fun, but if you have some sort of expectations...well, then it gets complicated. LOL. Ok so I wasn't much help.

Good luck. And if it doesn't work out, you can always move to Massachusetts.

ProtonicMan 49M

7/1/2005 9:34 pm

Dodger, you must have a foot fetish. (sole or soul?)

ProtonicMan 49M

7/1/2005 9:41 pm

I find it interesting that things have gotten more complicated for you. I'm trying to take the opposite approach, to have more of the fun that I missed out on in my earlier years.

You have a reason, standard, or moral for not wanting to get involved with this guy. Is it baggage? I don't think so. I think you are just taking care of yourself. Maybe it is just a feeling. I'm learning that I need to trust mine more. Perhaps you already learned that lesson.

Anyway, sounds like a great getaway! I hope you find some relaxation, and maybe clarity, this weekend. Ah, heck, just have a good time and be safe.


sexfriend1963 54M

7/2/2005 7:18 am

Ah, age, and coincedently the wisdom that comes along with it.

I do feel for you. It can be a tough decision between what you want and what you're ultimately looking for.

If you say that you know it's not something with long term potential, and if you know that's something that you don't want, even though you're attracted to him (both pretty obvious)... Then wait. It can be tough to have the patience to do so, but who knows who you might meet, or get to know better in the meantime that may very well be more of what you really want in life...

I'm alot like Protonicman in my approach as well. I've always looked more to the long term, but I know deep down that I need the experience of the short term, mainly due to my own ignorance of what women were attracted to, and not realizing they were actually attracted to me until it was too late.

Looks like I'm gonna have to change my profile yet again, but it'll have to wait. The kids are up and I have to keep them from killing each other.

Hope you enjoy your weekend, and just give it more time. Sometimes waiting (even though we really don't want to) is the only real thing we can do. The old 'Time will tell' thing. You've evidently had a computer for some time, so I know you've learned some patience. ;-P

Take care, and GL

rm_talldarkavg1 106M
10172 posts
7/5/2005 9:21 am

Fidelity...comes in varied forms. Implied, written, stated. If it is valuable...it is adhered to with passion. Without talks or signatures.

Guess it all depends how valuable it is to you. Would seem it has no value to him.

[blog talldarkavg1]

keithcancook 61M
17930 posts
7/6/2005 10:08 pm

I'd say you have a handle on it already. And lookie here. You still fall back on "do I want to" so that hasn't really seemed to change. At least you realize it when you are gathering fly shit.

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