September 22,1993: 44 people DEAD  

destinybound30 42F
38 posts
9/22/2005 7:16 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

September 22,1993: 44 people DEAD

Ok i know its been like 12 years since this happened, But its something I will never be able to 4get as long as i live. One would think that, after this long, i should be over it already.But im not, have tried and its helped ,but its still gonna be something that i wont be able to get over,just because i have such a problem with death itself. Ok September 22,1993 my grandmother died.Not just died,but its the way she had to die that probably bothers me to no end..I woke up one morning,turned on the tv and was watching the morning news...making me some cinnamon, a report comes on that states there was a train derailment in Mobile,Ala...and it was over water..they were talking about how a barge had hit the track and kinda weakened it,so when the train went over the track that early morning at 2:33am,it plunged into the bay. Listening to this I couldnt help but feel pain,and sadness for these people that were on the train..There were survivors and they were showing people trying to get out,and also trying to help other passengers.I even said aloud to myself-wow what if someone i knew was on that train! But i knew no one i knew was. or at least thought so.
Now, a weekend before this happened,i had went to my grandmothers place to see her.My son was born in 1992,and she loved him to peices.Wow what a wonderful person my grandma was,sorry im back...anyway i knocked and knocked,and got no answer..i told my then husband that this didnt seem right because shes always home. She kinda depended on other people to take her places around town.She wasnt that old but she just didnt like to drive. I started to worry a i had went to my mothers house and called my "real" father{that will be another post}and told him i went over there and im worried because she didnt answer the door.He said no honey she went to Texas to see your Uncle Mikes new baby...

So here it is the day of the 22nd, i had just moved into a new place, my son almost a year old now.So that nite, i saw the report again and then a knock on my door.Was one of my sisters and her husband.I knew something was wrong! She never came to my house uninvited.Grandma was on THAT train she says to me..OMG! no way.( I
knew she had went outta town but never asked how she got there,never dawned on me to ask or pry).
It was also my sisters Birthday..We both held each other and just cried.She said they havent found her yet...Good,then shes still alive im thinking.My sis says they are recovering bodies.Nooooo..pain is rushing thru my body,mostly my heart,because i love this woman more than i could ever express.She knew it too,she just knew it.She was the 1st to come to the hospital when i had my son-making sure my hair was brushed and all..See growing up,my mom always said i was this womans CLONE..And its true.I look just like her.Maybe thats why we were so close. Anyway...i tried to keep good thoughts that she was alive.She just had to be,ive never had anyone die before.My mom said she would keep me posted as to the news,i didnt have a phone so it was kinda hard. I wake the next morning to a knock on my door..its my husbands sisters- which was weird.Saying come to the house, they will take Billy{my son} for a while so i can have some free time.Immediately i said whats going on?! One of them said Your mom called and...before she could finish, i said They found her didnt they? Shes dead?"NO she cant be,i need her...i need her."I lost it..I was in denial for a while over this. To actually fathom the thought that someone u love so much will not be here anymore,u cant talk to them.She cant brush my hair,she wont get to see Billy turn a year old....tears -hard tears- i couldnt take it,I was a wreck. But it something i guess that has to settle with u..but its still hard when u have to accept something that u dont want to. Thanks for listening.

GoddessOfTheDawn 106F
11240 posts
9/22/2005 7:54 am

sorry for your loss. The process of healing takes time, sometimes a lot of it

celebrate her life, share what a wonderful woman she was with your son

destinybound30 42F

9/22/2005 10:06 am

Thanks, i appreciate that!

a_poetman 47M

9/22/2005 11:19 am

Carpe Diem <~~~~~ That phrase has meant a lot since my dad died. I am so sorry for your loss!

MadiCowx 32F

9/24/2005 10:08 am

Seize the day.... The only Latin phrase I got from that damn class... And the most meaningful...

You wouldnt be human if you could get over it so easily...You deserve your grieving time des!

P.s. Thank you for your words of encouragment on my blog


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