Some Laughs for your day  

dasher121 37M
3656 posts
5/31/2006 4:01 am

Last Read:
6/5/2006 6:32 am

Some Laughs for your day

"Life In Southern California"

San Diego, California... A Highway Patrolman pulled a car over and told the driver that because he had been wearing his seat belt, he had just won $5,000 in the statewide safety competition.

"What are you going to do with the money?" asked the policeman.

"Well, I guess I'm going to get a driver's license," he answered.

"Oh, don't listen to him," yelled a woman in the passenger seat. "He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."

This woke up the guy in the back seat who took one look at the cop and moaned,

"I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!"

At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a voice said, in Spanish,

"Are we over the border yet?"



A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw
a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked,

"What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks.
Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's
clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's Bush's clock?" asked the man.

"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."


The Ultimate Treatment"

The pharmacist walks into the store to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. He asks the blonde clerk

"What's with that guy over there by the wall?"

The blonde clerk responds: "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."

The pharmacist yells: "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with a laxative!"

The blonde clerk responds, "Of course you can! Look at him, he's afraid to cough."


"Gotta Love the Irish"

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important
meeting and couldn't find a parking place.
Looking up to heaven he said,

"Lord take pity on me. If you find me a
parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and
give up me Irish Whiskey".

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said,

"Never mind, I found one."

Have a good one peoples, smile its hump day!

End Transmission

methodman1000 41M
1775 posts
5/31/2006 4:50 am

funny post.....

Phuc_Buddy 47M

5/31/2006 4:53 am

Thanks for the morning chuckle Dash.

GoddessOfTheDawn 106F
11240 posts
5/31/2006 5:12 am

thx 4 a laugh....

~ smilez ~

curious082385 32F
4925 posts
5/31/2006 6:00 am

The Clocks one was great! Thanks for the laugh!

Sweetpickles69 49F

5/31/2006 7:16 am

Thanks for the laughs! It started my day on a good note!

Peace Out,


marywannado 44F

5/31/2006 7:54 am

LMAO...that was some funny shit...

RedheadedMedStd 35F

5/31/2006 8:49 am

Good post as always.

Looking4sex44240 55F

5/31/2006 9:46 am

Thanks I needed a good laugh.

concupiscentKid 41M

5/31/2006 10:05 am

Those were all funny, especially the last one.

waerlookin4fun 51M/47F

5/31/2006 6:38 pm

That first one really got me and I loved the last one...I'm mostly irish

goldinboy2 61M

6/2/2006 5:03 am

LOL nothing like good jokes Dude.

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