How to properly Email a woman 101........  

dasher121 37M
3656 posts
5/4/2006 7:40 am

Last Read:
10/25/2006 6:40 am

How to properly Email a woman 101........

Hola my Freaky Darlings. Today's lesson is how to properly email a woman on FFA. We read constantly on here about the very strange and fucked up emails dudes send to the lovely ladies. And just about every post that talks about it, I say in some variation that someone clearly didn't teach these uber losers how to talk to a woman. So fuck it, the dude will now give you a basic tutorial in emailing.

Lets start with first and most importantly the message line. this is what the lovely lady first See's before opening the email. Its very important as its like the title to your story, the attention getter. Try to avoid using phrases like:

-Lets get it on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- I want your pussy in my mouth!
-my cock throbs to your name
- I'm a 40yr old virgin, help me!!
-I want to stalk you!
-My dick is huge and can whistle Dixie(ok, that would even get my attention lol)
-you pussy luk gret
-me want ass.

and this stupid shit can go on for hours and hours. try something like this:

Hello, great profile!

I know I know your instincts, those of a fucking dolt, tell you this is not right. That you should go with the other options. But trust me, what you have been doing is wrong wrong! Why else are you sitting by yourself jacking it to midget porn and people on webcams lol.

Start off with a basic friendly greeting, followed by a simple question of how their day is going

Hello, how are you today?

tell them about your day, briefly! not in great utter detail!

I am fine, nothing too exciting. Just the usual routine.

mention a genuine compliment, and avoid using the words: hot, pussy, ass, fuck, teabag, double penetration, etc. use your fucking vocabulary for shits sake!

Liked reading your profile. And may I say, your photos look wonderful. The one with you jamming the double edged cock into your body was very sensual and the scream face you had on beautiful

mention something specific in their profile that they mentioned. this shows that you ACTUALLY read the profile!

Read that your interests are horse back riding and boat rowing. And that you listen to James Brown. I once watched a woman fuck a horse on the Internet while reading a review on boat rowing. And I am a big fan of James Brown. His album the Big Payback was one of the greatest!

tell them in a respectful way, why you think you should chat or get together.

I think that we share many similar interests both in and out of the bedroom. Here is a copy of my profile along with some photos. If you see anything you like reply back. If not, it's cool, and wish you luck on your search here.

finally, don't send JUST a cock shot! cock shot is fine for some. but for shits' sake! send something other than that!!!!

I hope that this little tutorial helped, and ladies feel free to add your own advice or additional info here.

And my fellow dudes, if you have any questions? Seriously go fuck yourself then! This IS NOT difficult. Its called simple thought and respect! For fucks sake hahahahha,


jadedbabe78 107F

5/4/2006 9:20 am

What about the skimmers? LOL...I've had people who obviously picked up some key points of my profile but still miss the part where I say I live in New England, not Cali!! lol

Another tip, don't hand out your phone # in the first email!! That kinda freaks me out, lol.


ArgosPlumyKooky 46F
3902 posts
5/4/2006 10:10 am

you pussy luk gret LMAO!!!!!!!

StillSmokin2oo6 45M/44F

5/4/2006 1:16 pm

Ya mean I been doin it wrong all this time????
"My cock throbs to your name",,,, hey, that's good,, I'll have to try that next time... LMAO

Looking4sex44240 55F

5/4/2006 1:55 pm

That was great, Now I hope they read it, and all this time I thought my profile was to nasty so I changed it lol.

MWWwantsmore 52F

5/4/2006 3:20 pm

LOL you go dude, tell them guys!

libgemOH 57M/53F

5/4/2006 4:46 pm

If that advice doesn't get all the men on here laid, nothing will!!! LMAO -B

caressmewell 54F

5/4/2006 5:33 pm

    Quoting jadedbabe78:
    What about the skimmers? LOL...I've had people who obviously picked up some key points of my profile but still miss the part where I say I live in New England, not Cali!! lol

    Another tip, don't hand out your phone # in the first email!! That kinda freaks me out, lol.

Yeah, the phone number thing is freaky!

rm_corezon 54F
3376 posts
5/4/2006 5:45 pm

good advice!! you ready to share some of those women with somebody else now?

EroticaXTC 51F

5/4/2006 6:17 pm

Are you sure "Casanova" isn't your middle name?

digdug41 50M

5/4/2006 6:53 pm

you fuckin kill me na thats great shit

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

goldinboy2 61M

5/4/2006 7:44 pm

Good job with the 101 dude but you have to admit a moron will always be a moron.

rm_art_persists 52M
1789 posts
5/4/2006 9:18 pm

so a picture of my asshole would be a good supplement to the cock shot?

LaVadaLicious 55F  
2770 posts
5/4/2006 9:41 pm

Excellent advice darlin... Keep up the good work..

Stop in and Sign The Guest Book



5/5/2006 12:38 am

So YOU think jamming the double edged cock into my body looked VERY SENSUAL??? Was it because of the SCREAM look on my face?

just a squirrel trying to get a nut

rm_mzbitch2u 48F
63 posts
5/5/2006 6:44 pm

very good points on all accounts, mr. teacher dude i must admit though (do u think im the only one?), that sometimes those attention getting subject lines, followed by dirty talking emails, get my juices flowing, other times, it leaves me laughing hysterically or rolling my eyes!!

for all the fucktards out there though, i hope they take some of your pointers!

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