Enter the Holiday madness  

dasher121 37M
3656 posts
12/20/2005 3:36 am

Last Read:
10/11/2006 7:44 am

Enter the Holiday madness

Awake on Saturday morning and reach over to turn on my cell phone. Its been charging for about 8 hours. I turn it on and make a call. Talk to an oh so familiar voice for a bit, when twenty minutes into the call the battery dies. Just like it has been for the last two weeks. Two replacement batteries and a new charger later, still the same problem.

The cell phone company that Im with wont replace the phone because I "havent been with them long enough for an upgrade." Yet new customers can sign up for wonderful deals and free expensive phones. So today is the last straw friends! Im marching up to the mall, cancelling my plan with "crappy company" and going with "barely have any service company", at least they will give me a great deal and my service will be cheaper.

I climb out of bed, do my usual morning routine, and get dressed. Grab my blue jacket, pull on my black Steelers tossle cap, white shell toes, grab some cds, and head out the door. As I take my second step onto the driveway my feet fly out from under me in classic slap stick fasion and next thing that I know Im flying warp speed down the entire length of the 50 yard driveway on my back. The slickness and smoothness of my jacket adding momentum to each second that passes. I spit out a slew of curses that would make a sailor blush as I slam into the back of the car. Immediately I jump up and look around to see if anyone has noticed, no one outside in the neighboorhood. I dust off the snow now clinging to every inch of me and climb into my big blue car. Turn the key, put on some James brown. The opening notes of "Big payback" hum through the speakers and Im on my way. The mission has started.
About 1 mile from the mall I hit stand still traffic. Glancing down at my fuel gauge I see a quarter tank stands. The light down the road turns green and no one moves. Minutes go by and it turns red again, a small handful of cars finally inch up. This scenario goes on for longer than I care to remember until I finally reach the main driveway and pull into the mall complex.

All parking lot areas are jam packed with cars, people moving back and forth and in and out in all directions, its total madness! I join the wagon train that is circling the lots looking for parking spaces that do not exhist. Then, like a flash of sudden pure luck, I spot a parking space empty! Empty and no one has noticed, it's only one isle over! I know I can make it. I have to make it, the fuel gage has now flashed "low fuel"! I make my way over chuckling at my great luck, I turn down the isle with glee on my face. An old woman walks slowly in front of my car. I stop and have to wait for her to pass, only a few spots from the promise land. Slow motion replay couldnt have done her justice.

Another car takes my spot just as she clears the front. Dammit!!! I continue to move on. A few minutes later another spot opens up, same situation. I pull down the isle, making eye contact with two other vultures with the same idea. As the race ensues, I make it to the spot first, turn on my turn signal which states, "Fuck off tis spot is mine!" But as I angle to move forward, a father fighting with a stroller, two toddlers, and a gazillion shopping bags wanders in front of my car. I stop. I lose my space.....Dammit!!! This little situation also continues on alot longer than Id like to recall. I get my miracle in the end, finding a spot that isnt so far that Im going to need a guide and pack mules to find my way.

I head for one of the side entrances that goes directly into the mall. Knowing better than to wander in through one of the department stores during this time of year. Things outside the entrance are eeerily quiet, too quiet for all of the chaos in the parking lot. I pitch my cig over the railing and head inside. I am immediately hit with the sounds of way too many people in one place. Parents and children and couples all moving about in too many different directions, Im feeling drunk off of all the sudden movement now in front of me.

Keeping my mind focused I remind myself of my mission, "Just get to the cell phone store, and cancel from crappy company and sign up with new phone from barely any service company." As I head down the stairs to the botton floor I catch pieces of a dozen conversations floating by me,

"We still have so much to do..."
"Billy! Stop it right now! I mean it..."
"I love you honey, we should...."
" He is such a bastard, Ill show him when.."
"Oh no need to thank me for helping you out Bruce, I just love to shop......."

I get down to the cell phone store of crappy company and there are way too many people in it, all not being waited on. Shit! Then I catch my first break, a seperate booth for the company I need to drop, perched on a balcony above me, selling promotions and no one is anywhere near. it, the sales girl looking very bored. Its one of the most wonderous and beautiful sights Ive seen all day. A golden ray shining down on it calling out to me. I dip and dodge back up the stairs and before I know it Im right in front of the booth. The girl informs me that she cannot cancel my service from there but gives me a number to do it myself on my phone. Excellent! I slide past the waves of shoppers and glide back outside. Dial up the number and am put on hold. Obnoxious Christmas music blaring in my ear. What next I wonder..............

AnEnigma517 60M

12/20/2005 7:53 am

You got it, Dasher... see how much easier it is to read with the paragraph breaks? You probably noticed when you wrote it that it was easier for you to keep track of the flow... Good job!

dasher121 37M

12/20/2005 9:43 am

curious- yes it was very priceless, and a fast way to get to the car! lol.

AnEnigma- yes def noticed, thank you for the advice. It flowed so much easier when writing it and was alot simpler to read.

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