What would YOU risk for love?  

damn_dame 47F
64 posts
2/23/2006 8:05 am

Last Read:
4/28/2006 11:33 pm

What would YOU risk for love?


And think not, you can direct the course of love; for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course". ~ Khalil Gibran

What a humbling reminder! I myself am guilty of having my own thoughts and plans concerning love. I have this vision in my head of what will happen if I fall in love again, the type of person I might fall in love with, what our life might be like. This quote reminded me of falling in love the first time. He wasn't someone I would have pictured myself with, I didn't plan it. If someone had told me years earlier that we would wind up married with children I would have laughed in their face. Love didn't take into account my plans.
Since being on AdultFriendFinder, I have met a few men that have really sparked an interest in me. More than one live a great distance away. In my mind, I have gone over all the reasons why that type of relationship would not work. I have considered the positive and negative aspects of a long distance relationship. I know statistically long distance relationships rarely work out. I have pondered the risks involved. Each time I circumvent back to one question, what would I risk for love?
Am I willing to risk my heart to a man who may not be willing to risk all for love as well? Am I willing to risk giving up my current home, my nuclear family, my job, my lifestyle for the opportunity to find true love? Is one of these men willing to risk all of this to find true love and make the sacrifices that I myself have pondered? Is it courageous to risk it all...or stupidity?
I was fortunate enough to love deeply once. I know it is more than most people experience. Part of me knows that if I never fall in love again, I will be ok. I have a wonderful family, a few good friends, a wonderful job that is very fullfilling, and a lifestyle that I can live with. Even though I have periods of ups and downs, I realize I am blessed. Maybe this is all for me, I don't know. I don't know what, or if, love has anything else planned for me.
I know there will be several people who read this post. So, my questions to you are, what have you risked for love and how did it turn out? In your opinion, is love worth risking it all? Would you sacrifice all you have for the opportunity to find love? Please don't just read and leave. Give me your thoughts and your opinions.
Thanks
The Dame

bigfootfireman 51M

2/23/2006 5:56 pm

Hi,dear I can truely relate to what you have been though then and now.I have been with what seemed to be love but after years went bye,the love was gone and all pain was left. It was only when I let love find me that I seen true love,but I want to make love wait for my mind to deside what was best and I lost love . So from one lost love to another don't look for love ,just enjoy life and love will find you when you don't atspect it ,this is when you take mind out of gear and let your heart run full speed.Good luck,goodlove,and good life.....


bigdawggnawin 52M

2/24/2006 6:07 pm

You're quite the muse. A thoughtful and romantic needle in this haystack of lust. I am compelled to share some of my own ruminations on risk. I suppose that I will be eternally kicking myself over lost opportunities that I've allowed to pass because of being too careful, reserved, or just plain bashful. Probably my biggest fear is that I've missed my chance to enjoy the laughter of children. While I believe it's true that peopole rarely change, most people who know me would tell you that I did. I swore that I would never again have to wonder what could've been beacuse I was afraid to open my mouth. In life, nothing worthwhile is gained without risk. It's pretty hard to learn to swim if cling too tightly to the safety rail. I've always thought that I would know "THE ONE" when I couldn't think of ANYTHING that I would NOT do for. So far, I;ve only found her once but as plans usually go, life got in the way. You seem to be a realist who's practical about her wants and needs.(Very pretty hands too!) Maybe you should ask yourself what you fear more, to fail at love or to live without it? In my humble opinion, if you risk love and fail are you really worse off or just back where you started. U intrigue me so...


timo-timo 69M

2/24/2006 10:20 pm

Someone once said to me, "Consider the possiblity that the world desires to meet your needs." As I contemplated this, I became aware of my own deeply held faith that my needs would never be met, a faith I had steadfastly created into reality with my choices and behaviors through out my life. I still do. Keeping oneself alone and unloved, provides an odd comfort and familiarlity in it's steadfast allegiance to ghosts and injuries of the past, but leaves us so sad and alone in joyous present filled with light, love and limitless potential....If only I could but snap awake, and be alive to all the love about me and within me.


rm_cowboyup2fun 43M

2/25/2006 5:42 am

I love reading the writings you post. I believe the question as to what a person will risk for love is up to each individual person. I believe a lot depends on the type of life you had as a child, and the people you was around as a child. Did they make sacrifices for people? DId you see the sacrifice made, and understand it? I believe people duplicate the life style,characterists, and traits of what they was brought up in. I think when a person fully understands who they are, and where they come from; then can they answer that question. I also believe in being patient. Their is an old saying that says, "good things come to those who wait." Sometimes, we put our desires and dreams into fast forward, and jump into the thing that we think we want. Just to find out later, that the ideal was nice, but not the situation. I believe you are blessed to have a good family life, home, and job. I know far to many people who do not, and find themselves depressed over those things. I believe in relationships that their should be sacrifices made by both partners. I also beleive that it takes a lot of communicating to make good choices for a relationship.

I have made sacrifices for love. With my first wife, I made a lot of sacrifices. I gave up going to college for a full time career to pay for our expenses, and so that she could finish her schooling. I also had given up many frieds, jobs, and finances in order for her to have a career, and for her to have emotional happiness. In the end, we discovered that we had grown apart, and the people that we was becoming was to different to get a long. Thier is a lot of explaining that would need done in that last statement. Anyway, I do not regret my decisions of what I gave up. I loved her, and I would have done anything for her. What I do this again in a relationship? Maybe? The thing that I have come to realize is, I know who I am. I know what I want in a companion, and what is important to me. And if I find someone with those traits, maybe I would move closer to her. Most of life is a sacrifice.

By the way, how could you give up Sikeston? The home of Lamberts. The Bootheel rodeo. Cruising on mainstreet. Cottonfields, cornfields, rice fields, watermelon fields. I have to stop with that one. I was beginning to feel and sound like bubba from Forest Gump. Friday night football games. GO Bulldogs!!! Family and friends. You got Dexter Bar b que, and Jays chicken. The Cotton carnival. Mosquitos. The Birds in the fall, and those dang blasted black bird cannons. Place to live at like Mini Farms, all the nice homes out Salcedo road. Of course, I would never chose to live in the sunset area, but thats just me! Anyway, I think you will fall in love again. And I hope to learn more about you from your postings or chatting. You are very intriquing! Maybe we could discuss this further?


rm_FiremanCop05 51M

2/27/2006 10:26 am

I think love in itself is a risk. In order to truly love, you must give part of yourself to that person. Let them become part of you, as you become part of them. Love can be a wonderful thing and it can also be dangerous. Love can make you feel on top of the world, happier than you ever thought you could be, but if both are not truly commited to it, it can make you hurt deeply and sadder than you ever thought possible.

I also think that to be in love with someone, implies that sacrifice will have to be made. Especially as we get into our 30's, 40's and up. At this age alot of people have careers, children and homes. Unlike when we were younger and had nothing of significance to lose. Dating is harder, as weekends and phone calls are usually all the opportunity there is. If you met someone that you really thought could be the one, would it be wise to make major sacrifices early on, or see how things go? Once things progress, then those things can discussed and agreed on mutually, i think.

What is really considered a long distance relationship? Can they work? I'm sure they can, it just depends on the level of committment each person is willing to give. The amount of trust they have in each other. Then there is the actual distance. One or two hours away, or one or two states? I think a relationship withing a few hours drive could thrive easily, unlike one states away. Spending time off together would be easy. Improptu dates would be the same. Not like you would have to pack an overnight bag, to go to dinner together. And, just as if you were two blocks apart, if the relationship progressed to living together, mutual agreement could solve it all.

So, what would I give for love? I would have to say, if I found that one person, that I truly thought I wanted to be with forever, I would probably give all but my relationship with my children. I have two careers. One I can pursue any where and the other I don't really like anyway. I love my home, but if things progressed to that point, it would be more important to figure out what would be better for us as a couple and not just for me.


damn_dame 47F

3/1/2006 1:10 am

Bigfootfireman, I have told myself exactly what you said, "don't look for love ,just enjoy life and love will find you when you don't atspect it ,this is when you take mind out of gear and let your heart run full speed." Sometimes I listen and sometimes I don't! LOL Great advice-Thanks! I hope for both of us, hell, for all of us that wish it, that we each find someone to love AND someone who returns that love as well.

Helpp1970, yes loving does take courage and the willingness and ability to open up. You can't truly love if you can't open up and give of yourself. It seems you echoed Bigfootfireman's sentiment, quit looking and worrying about it and let love find you! If it's meant to be it will be.

Bigdawggnawin, ouch! Introspection can be a bitch huh?! LOL "Maybe you should ask yourself what you fear more, to fail at love or to live without it? In my humble opinion, if you risk love and fail are you really worse off or just back where you started." You are so right. The answer is definately I fear living without it. My mind realizes the risk and I have experienced the heartache. As I mentioned in another post, I have loved deeply before and sadly it wasn't returned. Talk about bittersweet! But, I would risk it all again, in a heartbeat, for the opportunity to love someone like that again. Yeah, it was worth it, heartache and all.

Timo-you know well how I feel! "Someone once said to me, 'Consider the possiblity that the world desires to meet your needs." As we have discussed, we HAVE to change our thinking and allow this to enter our consciousness! It must be a mantra that that is ever at our lips and foremost on our minds. As always, your thoughts and remarks astound me and prompt me to "higher ordered thinking!" (Have decided to keep a list of Timisms!)

Good point Cowboyup! I agree that what we saw as children and growing up does affect what we will consider risking for love. Ahhh, two dirty words...sacrifice and communication. LOL Tough things to own up to and even harder to commit too. You are right that it does take that! I'm sorry that you gambled on love and it didn't quite work out, I know the feeling as I experienced the same thing. I don't regret it either, not a thing. It sure does take a long of tribulation and trials to get to where we are doesn't it? But, we come out smarter, more sure of our wants/needs, and better prepared for the next go around. Or atleast that's what I keep telling myself! LMAO-in your description you didn't emphasize mosquitos, mosquitos, mosquitos and you forgot humidity! Can you say sweat on sweat? Yeah, Sikeston is a great place to live, work, and play. And need I say anthing about the rodeo except, Yeeeehawwwwwww! Thanks for posting and I would love to see more from you. If you can't tell, I'm a talker so chat me up anytime!

Firemancop, you brought up so many good points! You succinctly pointed out the risks about our homes, careers, and homes. And the emotional risks, man, I love the way you described loving as giving part of yourself to that person and then opening up and letting them take a piece of you. I agree, it can be the most wonderful experience of your lifetime, as well as the worst experience you will ever have. I especially like the thought you brought up, about loving and relationships being compromises and taking into consideration not just ourselves, but "us" whoever that may be. Do you know your in love when you put the other person's needs before your own? Great post Firemancop.

Thank you all for posting! Keep em coming. And to those of us who are willing to risk it all...good luck to us all!

As always, love from the Damn Dame


cowboyhavinfun0 52M
7 posts
3/1/2006 1:26 pm

Sacrafice if it may be called that I did once for love. I lost alot of respect from family and friends for someone I (thought) I loved. It wasn't love, it didn't last, and like I said I lost a lot of the respect I had from family and friends. You ask if I would be willing to risk that again? Yes!!! I love my family and my friends, but they have their lives to live and I have mine. There is only one thing I would not risk. If it ment to never love again I would never risk the love I have from my daughter! She is a constant in my life and will always be there for "daddy". Would you...? always be there no matter what?... would you risk that "true" love for a chance of love with someone who you have no ties with???


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