Cyber Cheating vs. Actually Cheating  

daisy_lincoln 47F
3002 posts
1/31/2006 7:47 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Cyber Cheating vs. Actually Cheating

If you found out someone you were in a committed relationship was having some type of cyber relationship but hadn't actually gone as far as actually meeting the other person, would you consider it to be cheating? If so, where would you draw the line?

Kind of seems like cheating has two aspects to it -- the emotional and the physical. Do you think enough of an emotional connection could be made online between two people that you might feel like you'd been betrayed if it happened to you?

nevertootall4u 54M

2/1/2006 8:41 am

i was dating soemone I met on MATCH, and joined AdultFriendFinder. this site more for "fun". chatting, cyber, cam, etc she didnt understand. thought I should be getting it ALL from her. so, it ended, and I am still on AdultFriendFinder. as long as its kept "safe", cyber is OK. it may even add to fun at home. but, when U extend it to sharing pics etc, U do cross line. ps, I am single, so thats why I am still here.

dodgeman55us 62M

2/1/2006 11:38 am

For me, a commitment is a commitment. There should be no secrets of any kind. When people state that they are in an "open relationship", it still should mean that they are also open to that person about their activities. If you want to get online and cyber with a woman, or a man, it should be with the other's knowledge. It's not about being "old fashioned", it's about trust.....rare these days, for sure, but when doubts are present, there is sure to be problems close by.

sillyperv 56M

2/1/2006 2:49 pm

It's a question of degree. Cyber strikes me more as fantasy than reality. If it's just a little thrill, then fine. If it moves to obsession and it starts to affect the relationship then there's a problem and it is cheating.

Yes, people can make an emotional connection, I know guys you have one with their cars.

It might be even be easier with the fantasy element involved.

10 posts
2/1/2006 2:50 pm

Well personally there is NO harm if there has been no REAL contact. I agree that there is the "emotional" effect cybering brings to the table but what is it really a clcik of the button and it's gone.

Where as a physical meeting and contact opens a whole other bag of worms and then it is too late to hit the X button in the upper right corner

MillsShipsGayly 53M

2/2/2006 7:04 am

Interesting blog topic.

Certainly the whole online thing has stressed monogamy.

Perhaps, since couples come in so many different flavors, cheating can only be answered within the context of what the two agree to ...

For some, cyber isn't cheating; for others it could be worse than the physical act.

sillyperv 56M

2/2/2006 8:45 am

It is the emotional commitment that's the issue. How many complaints have there been about men's"attachment to their jobs". Taking that a step further could any emotional commitment that takes priority over your significant other - and that could be anything from a job, a hobby, drugs - be called "cheating"?

redmustang91 58M  
8935 posts
2/2/2006 10:34 am

Every thing that takes away from the relationship is aform of "cheating" as silly points out. Actually most people do not want to deal with 100% time and emotional commitment as it is too burdensome! Some Wives tell some husbands to cheat as it is too much!

gnr8nrg 47M

2/2/2006 4:33 pm

I know you can develop an emotional connection online. If I know early in the relationship that she's into cybering then I wouldn't have a problem with it. It's all about communication, honesty, and trust.

rm_aerden 58M
7 posts
2/3/2006 10:22 am

Cyber cheating would depend on the situation on whether it was just a bit a voyeuristic fun (mutually of course) or if it was really a prelude to meeting up and having an affair.
if I were honest, my girlfriend would probably be a little upset if she caught me spanking the monkey watching a porn film because she would feel our sex wasn't good enough for me; however, if she caught me doing the same live on air with another girl, she would consider that cheating!

rm_scruffy19677 50M

2/3/2006 7:11 pm

Yes I would call it cheating as my wife(ex) just did that to me 11mths ago and she has now imported the scum bag,He's 25 and she's 32 I now only see my 2 kids 1 friday night every fortnight.They are 21/2 and 41/2,I'm now missing the best part of their lives as they are growing up.

rm_FreeLove999 48F
16127 posts
2/10/2006 2:12 am

i think anytime you feel a need to hide something from your partner, you know damn well you are being dishonest and that is cheating. i think if you are being dishonest, whether you are being honest with yourself about it or not, you are doing damage to a good relationship. if you find it impossible to confide in your partner and trust that they will love you no matter what, i would question if they are really the right person for you.

in my situation, my sex life with my husband was always the thing requiring most effort. after 7 years of marriage, i fell head over heels in love with someone else and was REALLY freaked out about it. i told my best friend and he told me under no circumstances to tell my husband as it would destroy our marriage. i felt that if i had spoken to my best friend, i owed it to my husband to talk to him.

my husband's initial response was that i was obviously polyamorous and we needed to explore options for an open relationship -- even tho he is not that interested in seeking other women as anything more than friends.

trusting my husband enough to talk to him, respecting him enough to talk to him has only strengthened our relationship.

[blog freelove999]

Dallas_Male_35 49M
255 posts
2/13/2006 11:48 pm

When you are "online" you have no choice but to put blind faith into your friends here.

In real life, we can tell by a persons tone of voice or body language if they are honest about things (well some people can't - but hey, love is blind). Here, on the web, you have no choice but to accept that someone is telling the truth.

I think that when you put forth all that energy into having faith in someone on here, it is possible to get attached, and in a "real life" relationship, that could cause problems. The emotional is much stronger than the physical.

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