things tHaT wiLl NoT LeaVe my MiNd 2dAy  

cutie4umm 48F
28 posts
3/27/2006 5:54 pm

Last Read:
5/10/2006 8:49 pm

things tHaT wiLl NoT LeaVe my MiNd 2dAy

you could say I am always fightin with my mind over heart... or is it heart over mind???

i'm not sure i only know that they dont ever agree! I wish i could always be carefree and just do what i want. but what is that? (that's my mind) never ever shuts up ....
life is on my mind... how many lifes do we have? I am not speakin in the after world... I am speakin here and now... It seems to me I have had 2 many different lives now..... I wonder if anyone is truly themselves. ?.. do u ever 'know' another? R do u really know urself? I know I dont.. not 2day. but when the wind blows, i will take control and be me and shut my mind up or hell who knows. I am gettin so involued tryin to understand wtf is it... if i am happy and everyone is kissing my ass, it's all so wonderful.......but then it's the wind..... (my sister says Hi how r u? i say i'm good... she will say let's talk fast because the wind might blow....) if ur sister tells u, ur f**k'd up ... u r! (well that's the case with mine) I need to go and i need to b productive... but wtf who cares, does anyone notice?? how many years I have planned out to a T.. how it amazes me, when they need something and it's right where they need it when they need it,,, wtf... they think it came there all by itself............ you can do this ur whole life and u can stop....... but that's another wtf??? you can serve ur family like ur not there, hell ur 2 busy gettin what they need exactly right... and they never say 'thank you'
but just fuck up... and then u could be sittin alone thinkin i hope they have the right things they need... I have to let go of this controlling issue.. i have to take care of my business!!! not worry endless over what color ribbon.....
(when u pick her up she doesnt even know where that damn ribbon is) ... and then later in life she will not remember. but just let mom fuck up and wtf ???...
this is crazy and makes no sense .... but i feel better! now i have my mind calm i'm going to get 1 thing done!

rm_traeman 51M

4/11/2006 1:34 am

Wow, there is a word goulash in there. I'm sure it was very cathartic and that may be why you feel better. I picked up a lot of energy concerning your family- and that is so human- Family, can't live with them, can't live without. We all struggle with familial issues, but the important thing is to realize is that you define who you are today, no one else does.- Trae

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