When Are You Telling Him??  

cuteNEway 42F
1774 posts
9/8/2006 6:53 am

Last Read:
9/10/2006 7:59 pm

When Are You Telling Him??

My pregnancy was considered high risk from the beginning. I was going to a Perinatologist every two weeks. I had a sonogram every time I went. It was funny to see how the babies were already showing little personality traits. Showing who was the dominant one, who was the instigator.

At one point Baby Girl was on the bottom and Baby Boy was ont top. In the sonogram, it looked as if he were sitting on her head. She had her little arm bent and her hand curled into a fist and she looked like she was punching his butt! She was actually moving her arm too!

Weeks and weeks went by and I still hadn't told anyone who the father was. At 29 weeks I started having contractions. Nothing painful. For those unaware, this is NOT a good thing. Although a viable fetus, there is still a 20% mortality rate at this stage. The doctor monitored my contractions to determine whether these were Braxton-Hicks or real contractions.

Braxton-Hicks contractions are "practice" contractions that midwives and doctors believe are just your body preparing for labor. I wasn't having Braxton-Hicks contractions. I was given medication to control them. The doctor was seeing me weekly now.

I continued working. Providing. Stress all around, which I believe is what caused those damn contractions! The medication made me shaky. I was easily annoyed by my customers. I had to give back my car. No one else would fuckin work! Goddammit I was exhausted!

I craved fried green plantains(tostones) with hot sauce from the chinese place, all the time. I wanted to sniff King Pine, all the time. I even bought a small bottle I carried in my purse. I even found that green skittles tasted like the smell of King Pine. I bought a big bag of them and only ate the green ones. My 3 little pleasures during a VERY uncomfortable pregnancy.

I still hadn't told him. I still hadn't told anyone.

At 32 weeks I was put on bed rest. I had to take an FMLA. That meant NO MONEY. I didn't know what to do. No one else was working yet. I tried to convince the doctor to let me work. There was no MONEY unless I was working. He told me that I needed to go to the father and tell him to take some responsibility.

But, but, but...

"You're on bed rest and that's final." A week later I went to my friend's house and finally told her that her cousin was the father. She knew it but was respecting the fact that I didn't want to say anything. She told me that she would have him come over to her house and let me know when he was there so that we could talk. That sounded like a good idea. Neutral territory with an objective party to mediate.

I was finally gonna tell him.

{image is an unborn child at 30 weeks gestation as seen with a 4D sonogram}

elmexicano_2k 47M

9/8/2006 7:27 am

I'm riveted here Cute. Seriously.

Butch: I'm American, honey. Our names don't mean shit.

free2chose2 67F

9/8/2006 7:27 am

Well he had a right to know and even if he couldn't be "made" to support you at this time, he had a legal responsibility once the babies were born. My ex-husband skipped out of supporting our sons, now he must be on SS or SSI because the payments(2nd one came yesterday)started again. Our sons are 27 and 24. this money will help us all even new baby.

Don't worry, be Happy

drnick20054 29M

9/8/2006 7:39 am

gd luck with the pregnancy, they can deliver babies as young as 14 weeks, like u said its risky but they can do it.

cuteNEway 42F

9/8/2006 8:05 am

Mexicano...I don't want to tell the whole story in one post. It will be too long and people get bored reading posts that are too long.

free...I know what you mean.

drnick...the babies are 3 and a half now. I'm just telling the story of my woes during pregnancy, stay tuned

velvetgrrrl 40F

9/8/2006 12:05 pm

I went throught hat 29 weeks contractions. I even started dialating with my youngest. I went form not being open to 3 cm pretty scaryso young. Iended up hospitalized and transferred from my regular hiospital to a specialty hospital. Scary stuff and I was so doped up I couldn't even use the bathroom without help. What a nightmare.

Girl I had weird situations with all my boys. I"ll share my situations with your final installment on pregnancies

Hell is when u should have walked away, but u didn't.

(What the fuck is this shit..?? *rolls eyes*)

9/8/2006 1:40 pm

I'm gone a seriously freak out if this doesn't go well...Ready


elmexicano_2k 47M

9/8/2006 3:50 pm

You're doing a good job of keeping my sorry ass fixated on your blog. Why you gotta tell such a good story huh!??!

Butch: I'm American, honey. Our names don't mean shit.

NickRules999 40M
9464 posts
9/8/2006 4:02 pm


(Nick is sitting quietly, listening to every word.)

Come into my realm! You aren't afraid...are you?

cuteNEway 42F

9/9/2006 12:02 am

velvet...that sounds horrible! How old were you??

ready...so am I!

mexicano...it's my evil plan buahahahahahaa!!

Nicky...thats my boy

Dys...honey it takes two and I didn't think of protection either.

diggin...that happened to my sister with her first pregnancy. She couldn't even keep water down and she had horrible stomach pains. My nephew is a wonderful 4 year old now!!

haversack_smith 41M
6192 posts
9/9/2006 1:35 am

Gripping story. You really know how to write these things.

You must be very strong to have kept working up to that point. Reckon most of us would have given up or gone crazy after the first few weeks!

cuteNEway 42F

9/9/2006 2:59 am


Smithy...aww thanks hun! I can't say I was all that strong. I had no choice! I cried everyday.

velvetgrrrl 40F

9/9/2006 6:18 pm

Cute I was 27 this was the last one I had. Seems to me the older I'm getting the harder it is to have kids. Go figure. I figured it was a sign to quit having them

Hell is when u should have walked away, but u didn't.

AtomicArtist0 46M
6015 posts
9/10/2006 5:54 pm

I've been having this weird problem for the past couple weeks where I am unable to see blog pics...not even my own. This particular post is the only pic in all of blogland that I can see. It must be a miracle...but now I wish I can see the rest in your series. Great work here.

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